| Author | |
CrunchyMom
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 03 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6385
|
| Posted: Jan 19 2012 at 3:42pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
This is just a little thing, but its really annoying.
My 3.5 year old ds asks a question every. single. time I tell him to do something. And with a stupid question at that.
It goes something like this:
ME: You missed some of the laundry.
HIM: What laundry?
ME: The dirty laundry from my bathroom you are supposed to take for your job.
HIM: What job?
ME: Come on. Get it. Its right here. I put it in the hallway for you.
HIM: What hallway?
Aaaaaaaagh!
Sometimes I just ignore what he said and refuse to answer the stupid question, but I still have to respond, and then he still asks another question.
Of course, it is all an attempt to feign ignorance so he doesn't have to do the job 
Any tricks to share for stopping this. Yk, besides just offering it up 
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mackfam
Board Moderator
Non Nobis
Joined: April 24 2006
Location: Alabama
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 14656
|
| Posted: Jan 19 2012 at 3:58pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Quote:
ME: The dirty laundry from my bathroom you are supposed to take for your job.
HIM: What job?
|
|
|
ME: (walking away) The laundry is in the hallway. If you have trouble finding it then you can sweep the hallway, too.
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SuzanneG
Forum Moderator
Joined: June 17 2006
Location: Idaho
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5465
|
| Posted: Jan 19 2012 at 4:07pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
CrunchyMom wrote:
ME: You missed some of the laundry.
HIM: What laundry? |
|
|
ME: The laundry in the hallway, which is your job. If you ask me any more questions about this laundry or don't complete your job, I will assign another job and you will miss out on (insert next fun thing that is happening). Please do your job. Thank you.
He gets one question. That's it. Stop this immediately....especially now that you know it's his MO. He is not being curious. He is not trying to "figure out his world." He is simply stalling and distracting, which is not tolerated.
__________________
Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Claire F
Forum Pro
Joined: Sept 14 2011
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 272
|
| Posted: Jan 19 2012 at 4:23pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Agreed with the walking away and keeping it plain and simple.
Another, similar angle, could be, "The laundry in the hallway. You are welcome to come join us in having breakfast (or reading a book, or having lunch, or whatever the next thing is) after you've done your job."
Continue walking away and then make sure he doesn't get to do whatever is next until his job is done. But you don't answer any more questions.
Three-year-olds.... 
__________________
Claire
Mom to DS 12/04, DS 5/07, DD 8/09
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SuzanneG
Forum Moderator
Joined: June 17 2006
Location: Idaho
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5465
|
| Posted: Jan 19 2012 at 4:25pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
CrunchyMom wrote:
This is just a little thing, but its really annoying.
My 3.5 year old ds asks a question every. single. time I tell him to do something. And with a stupid question at that. |
|
|
OK....so my response was a bit "too much" for a 3.5 yo. I was thinking it was a 5 or 6 yo.
Here's the 3.5 yo version:
Him: What laundry?
Me: The laundry in the hallway. Mom just asked you to do a job, and you need to do it right away. Do you understand?
Him: What job?
Me: Oh, I can see you need help with this. (pick up his hand and have him pick up the laundry with you leading his hand. follow him to the laundry bin and lead his hand to put it there.)
If he thinks that's fun or funny, come back and let me know....i'll go on to plan b and c.
__________________
Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
CrunchyMom
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 03 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6385
|
| Posted: Jan 19 2012 at 4:39pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
SuzanneG wrote:
CrunchyMom wrote:
This is just a little thing, but its really annoying.
My 3.5 year old ds asks a question every. single. time I tell him to do something. And with a stupid question at that. |
|
|
OK....so my response was a bit "too much" for a 3.5 yo. I was thinking it was a 5 or 6 yo.
Here's the 3.5 yo version:
Him: What laundry?
Me: The laundry in the hallway. Mom just asked you to do a job, and you need to do it right away. Do you understand?
Him: What job?
Me: Oh, I can see you need help with this. (pick up his hand and have him pick up the laundry with you leading his hand. follow him to the laundry bin and lead his hand to put it there.)
If he thinks that's fun or funny, come back and let me know....i'll go on to plan b and c. |
|
|
Thanks! Yes, if he were older, I wouldn't tolerate it at all, but if I'm harsh with him and threaten more chores (which I have) he dissolves into a heap. And he's a bruiser, so its a very heavy heap and difficult for me to "handle" physically when it comes to that.  He's definitely one of those where "reverse psychology" is my friend, but some days, that takes more brain cells than I have 
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mackfam
Board Moderator
Non Nobis
Joined: April 24 2006
Location: Alabama
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 14656
|
| Posted: Jan 19 2012 at 4:53pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Yes - my response is probably more in line with a 5/6 yo, too, so I'm glad Suzanne re-posted! 
That is exactly how we direct a 3 yo here - either they truly don't understand how to give obedience, so I show them. OR...they understand and don't want to give obedience, in which case they need help giving right away obedience....so their hand/body is directed and lead right to the object/point requiring obedience at which point they have an epiphany as to what they must do to obey because 3 yo's like their independence.
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Grace&Chaos
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 07 2010
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1261
|
| Posted: Jan 19 2012 at 5:53pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
My 3 yo requires the above. Statement/Command, Direction/Demonstration and then, unfortunately, for me: Supervision.
The instant I walk away the task gets dropped (even if I've demonstrated by action). And we are back to "Pick up, What toys?"
If I watch and guide: "o.k. good job...now lets pick up the shoes...good, now ..." he does it independently and quickly, but for me to just answer his question to my command and walk away leads to just a back and forth of questions very similar to your original scenario
__________________
Blessings,
Jenny
Mom to dds(00,03) and dss(05,06,08,09)
Grace in Loving Chaos
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Kathryn
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 24 2009
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1520
|
| Posted: Jan 19 2012 at 7:15pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
No advice but this completely reminded me of my DS now 11 at this age that used to say "I can't, my leg broke". Nooo...he never had a broke leg!
__________________
Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
CatholicMommy
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2007
Location: Indiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1254
|
| Posted: Jan 20 2012 at 7:37pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
My nephew will tell you he has cramps, or broken legs, when you tell him to clean up his toys!
I've been known to just say, "When (state the task) is done, you may join us. Not until then. You join us when the job is done." And walk away. Even at 3.
My son at that age I did use some reverse psychology on. I would tell him things like, "Do not eat the meat on this fork. I am just going to put it next to your mouth, but don't you DARE eat it!" (he would gobble it down of course)
But you're right - it reached the point some days I would even come out and say, "Just do what you're supposed to do already!" (I was a little tired on those days....)
__________________
Garden of Francis
HS Elementary Montessori Training
Montessori Nuggets
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Always responds with a question
