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*Lindsey*
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| Posted: Oct 10 2011 at 8:31am | IP Logged
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I have had 6 natural, un-medicated births. I am due in about 7 weeks. It's usually at this point I start getting the "Oh no, I have to go through labor/push out another baby!?" feeling. It seems to be worse this time. My last experience wasn't bad, it was very intense at the end (more than usual for me, anyway) and I still remember that pain! I am dreading it and find my worry occupying my thoughts way too much.
Also, my SIL and another friend each had a rougher experience a few months ago and I think that is factoring into my anxiousness.
I hope I don't sound like a big, whiny mess. (I FEEL like it on the inside!) I know that fear will work directly against me. I have Ina May's Guide to Childbirth which I should pull out and re-read. I've been praying to St. Gerard. However, I want to find peace with what is to come.
Can anyone relate? Any advice on how to overcome this?
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Lindsey
Mama to DS (11), DD(9), twin dds(7), DD (5), DS (4), DS (3), and 5 angels in heaven.
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Servant2theKing
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| Posted: Oct 10 2011 at 9:10am | IP Logged
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Dear Lindsey, prayers for your upcoming birth and much empathy for the fears you are experiencing. One thing that really helped me with fear of impending labor was my dear midwife's wise counsel, "When you feel like you cannot go on any more, you are entering into transition and birth will follow very soon after."
It always helped me to learn more and more about the wonder of birth and contemplate the incredible miracle of cooperating in God's wondrous work of creating new life!
Praying to Our Lady of Guadalupe, St. Gianna Molla and St. Gerard for your upcoming birth to be truly blessed and grace-filled.
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All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
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Chris V
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| Posted: Oct 10 2011 at 9:11am | IP Logged
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I can relate. I too have had all natural, unmedicated births with no medical interventions whatsoever ... and that is very much the way I'd like to keep it! I am expecting twins in just 10 weeks (praying my little girls can stay in for that long ... you know people love to share their horror stories of preterm labor with twins  ). But I was told that I would have to deliver my girls in the operating room, rather than the beautiful, serene birthing suite that the hospital has in the birthing wing. I am NOT happy about this news, and it has caused some anxiety in me. Afterall, so much of having a beautiful birthing experience is in our minds. If we mentally crumble, then our births can quickly crumble as well as it creates stress and tension within us. If our bodies tense-up, the birthing process can be stalled, prolonging our discomfort which in turn then leads to further stress, anxiety, tension, and then our often well-meaning doctors begin to pressure us to allow them to "help" things move along.
I've been talking quite a bit to our Blessed Mother about my worry, and have resolved myself to give it all to her. It has become a part of my Rosary - the anxiety of childbirth, overcoming the pain, and preparing myself mentally for what lies ahead.
God has created us perfectly. Our bodies know exactly what to do, and we surrender to it. And keep all negativity out, think only good thoughts. 
*Lindsey* wrote:
| I have Ina May's Guide to Childbirth which I should pull out and re-read. |
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I love Ina May Gaskin. I love her! Her Guide to Natural Childbirth was the first book I read when I was expecting my very first baby and I attribute my natural birthing success to her. I'll be re-reading this book, right along with you!
I also use the Hypnobabies program as well. I hesitate to mention it only because so many have mixed feeling about this program (and it's association with the New Age movement). However, personally? I've had amazing success with it, and with my last birth, it allowed me to enjoy my daughter's birth, bring peace within me, and manage my pain level.
We can do this Lindsey! Tell our merciful Christ that you trust in Him, surrender yourself to the beautiful of childbirth, and marvel at the miracle of what is to come .
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Chris
Happy Wife with my Happy Life
Mama to My Five Girls ('04~'07~'09~'11~'11)
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Oct 10 2011 at 9:32am | IP Logged
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I do a couple of things..
1) act like an ostrich  I do my best to not let myself dwell on it or think of it or anything. The only exception to this is really truly constructive thinking.. so reading good books on birthing or trouble shooting something that happened previously that you might find a better solution for. For instance, my last birth was really hard on me.. BUT I also know that a good portion of that was lack of sleep.. so something I might try and do is take a nap ASAP on starting to feel contractions before they get going and I can't rest. Then I also have the answer to the fear to give myself before dragging my thoughts elsewhere.
2) I do try and picture things that will happen after the baby is born, like my children love to make a cake "for baby" and these things happen regardless of exact dates. But also picturing a good solid date when baby is sure to be born and being able to picture having baby with us.
3) Once labor kicks in, my mantra is "the only way out is through".. it doesn't sound that great but it somehow gives me the courage to move ahead and get through it to be done with it.
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G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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wifemommy
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| Posted: Oct 10 2011 at 12:35pm | IP Logged
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So what do you have left to prove? Some pain meds will not make it an un-natural delivery. I have done it both ways and have after being a die hard no intervention type thought I "caved" and used the epidural but you know what it was for the best in that delivery and in latter deliveries I found the relaxation I got from not being in so much pain really helped me to focus and "enjoy" each birth. I guess my point is if the pain is what you fear then plan ways to make it better. It's ok to try something new or even give yourself permission to think about it.  Annie
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*Lindsey*
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| Posted: Oct 10 2011 at 12:44pm | IP Logged
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wifemommy wrote:
| So what do you have left to prove? Some pain meds will not make it an un-natural delivery. I have done it both ways and have after being a die hard no intervention type thought I "caved" and used the epidural but you know what it was for the best in that delivery and in latter deliveries I found the relaxation I got from not being in so much pain really helped me to focus and "enjoy" each birth. I guess my point is if the pain is what you fear then plan ways to make it better. It's ok to try something new or even give yourself permission to think about it. Annie |
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It's not about proving anything. It's about what I feel is best for myself and baby. And since I'm having a homebirth, pain relief isn't an option. 
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Lindsey
Mama to DS (11), DD(9), twin dds(7), DD (5), DS (4), DS (3), and 5 angels in heaven.
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wifemommy
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| Posted: Oct 10 2011 at 1:08pm | IP Logged
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Sorry 
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*Lindsey*
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| Posted: Oct 10 2011 at 2:55pm | IP Logged
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wifemommy wrote:
| Sorry |
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It's ok!
Jodie, you're ostrich advice is but you make a good point. It just doesn't work for me!! I cannot help but thinking about it. 
Chris, I was on bedrest with my twins for 8 weeks due to pre-term labor scares (My cervix was thinning out/"shortening"-they called it). They released me at 35 weeks, and at 38 weeks starting talking induction (with no medical reasoning) and I was SO upset. Thankfully I went into labor on my own a few days later. I was able to give birth in the normal birthing suite but the surgical team was on standby and it was so stressful. I will be praying for you, too!
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Lindsey
Mama to DS (11), DD(9), twin dds(7), DD (5), DS (4), DS (3), and 5 angels in heaven.
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Chris V
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| Posted: Oct 11 2011 at 12:31am | IP Logged
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*Lindsey* wrote:
| They released me at 35 weeks, and at 38 weeks starting talking induction (with no medical reasoning) and I was SO upset. Thankfully I went into labor on my own a few days later. I was able to give birth in the normal birthing suite but the surgical team was on standby and it was so stressful. I will be praying for you, too! |
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Thank you for sharing this with me. My family doctor is so very, very supportive of my preferences with birth, and I have nothing but respect for him because of it. He has paired me up with an OB (since he is a Family Practitioner he cannot delivery twins because multiples are considered high-risk). The OB that he has chosen is an older doctor who has seen it all and done it all. My family doctor feels that I have the best "shot" at a natural delivery with this OB. The OB has already told me that most twins are delivered via C-section. I asked "why?" ... is it truly necessary? ... "Sometimes" was his only response.
I am so happy to hear that you were able to deliver your twins naturally! I have another prenatal appointment on Wednesday and I'm going to talk to my doctor again about delivering in the birthing suite.
Thank you for your prayers. Praying for you too
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Chris
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Oct 11 2011 at 12:59am | IP Logged
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*Lindsey* wrote:
Jodie, you're ostrich advice is but you make a good point. It just doesn't work for me!! I cannot help but thinking about it.
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I didn't mean to give the impression that it's easy. It is definately an act of will to change the direction of my thoughts. And it can be very difficult. But it does get easier with practise. 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Maureen
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| Posted: Oct 11 2011 at 6:43pm | IP Logged
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I had 7 unmedicated births. I decided to "try" the epidural for the last one, but baby came too quickly. 
3 things that helped me most: 1)a chapter in the Bradley method book which described how to sort of remove yourself from the pain and imagine how the muscles are contracting. (I'm afraid I can't explain it adequately.) 2)listening to soft, relaxing piano music (e.g. Jim Brickman, George Winston, etc.) on tape (one tape I had also had the sound of waves in the background) and 3) deep slow breathing also explained in the Bradley method book. (It also helps to practice breathing ahead of time while listening to the tapes/mp3 player.)
All that being said, when I hit transition the pain is very intense and then I just push to get it to end.
One other thing that might help: trying a different birthing position. My fifth child came at home and I sort of ending up on all fours. It was my easiest birth!
Oh and my husband sits quietly by my side and prays the rosary silently. Besides benefiting from his prayers, I found it very comforting.
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Maureen, mom to 8 treasures
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Chris V
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Maureen wrote:
Oh and my husband sits quietly by my side and prays the rosary silently. Besides benefiting from his prayers, I found it very comforting. |
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Oh Maureen, this is beautiful.
My dh doesn't handle my births quite as gracefully. He can't sit still... I tend to listen to my I-Pod while birthing, and that calms HIM down.
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Chris
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Maureen
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Chris V wrote:
I tend to listen to my I-Pod while birthing, and that calms HIM down. |
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Maureen, mom to 8 treasures
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knowloveserve
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Oh my dear, I just went through this. I gave birth to my 5th child just over a month ago. For several weeks prior to the birth I experienced an unearthly fear and dread. Who knows why... maybe the devil was messing w/ me because fear is a symptom of an immature faith and he knows I always use my labors as a source of "efficacious suffering", i.e., I offer up all my pain, even every individual contraction, for the conversion of sinners. When I feel one coming on I mentally say "this is for my brother's reversion" or whathaveyou.
The devil knows how powerful it can be to unite our sufferings with Christ and the Blessed Mother and he doesn't want us to go that route. So maybe he uses fear and dread to distract us from the glorious cross we are privileged to undertake.
I do homebirths too and I can also attest to the "all fours" position... especially, and I mean ESPECIALLY if you experience back labor. I was often on my bed, crouched over a partly-deflated yoga ball with dh pressing hard into my lower back as the pain was there. This helped. And employ the "shh" technique with breathing. Act like you are shushing a child on the whole other side of church so shhh loud and strong!
That said, it sounds like the problem isn't the actual pain control advice you need, it's the fear control advice. And for that the biggest thing you can do is surrender to it and say "Yes, God I am scared. I acknowledge that I WILL go through pain. But you have promised to never give me more than I can handle. Please deliver me from fear, help me trust in you... and let me accept my little road to Calvary with a courageous heart."
He will give you courage. Just ask for it.
One last thing: labor is very much like a military deployment used to be for me. I spent weeks prior to my husband's departure fearing and dreading... just like labor. But when it actually happened and he was gone, I bucked up and said, "Okay, I can do this. These are my routines and techniques... I can now look forward to his sweet return." It's the same with childbirth. Once your labor begins, the fear seems to diminish, your body knows what to do. You can move forward and look to the sweet delivery of your baby.
______________*disclaimer* do not read further if you are emotionally unable to hear a negative aspect of birthing at this point________________
During transition with my son, I was totally despondent and I was just whimpering in the corner of my room, unable to do anything. (This baby was a tough one for me-- two miscarriages preceded him and this made it really difficult for me to attach to him while pregnant-- I hate to admit that I dreaded his birth, not just the pain, but the having a new baby part. I of course knew that the bonding would come later-- and praise God it has; I love my little guy like you wouldn't believe now-- but at the time this depression really impeded everything with the birthing process. My midwife very gently coaxed me into a delivery position and helped me through the final stages but when I actually delivered that final push of blood and life and child... all I could think was "Relief". I was so out of it. I couldn't even look at my son for several minutes; I was just crying out of sheer exhaustion and relief and thanking God that the labor was over.
It was my toughest birth to date even if it was only 3 hours. Still, I praise God that I had the wherewithall to remember to offer all the agony up for poor sinners. That really is such an empowering thing...
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Ellie
The Bleeding Pelican
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Anxiety/fear over upcoming labor
