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Syncletica
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| Posted: Feb 20 2011 at 10:32pm | IP Logged
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What advice would you give to a friend who is losing all respect for her husband? The wife is beginning to think no example is better than his bad example. I don't know what to suggest. Would appreciate prayers and advice. Thank you.
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"Live as though your judge were to meet you today, and you will not fear Him when He does come." - St. Augustine
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Booksnbabes
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No advice, but definitely praying for this situation! 
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Wife to wonderful DH, mom to SIX beautiful gifts from God!
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Feb 20 2011 at 11:13pm | IP Logged
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She has my prayers, too.
Talking with him in the presence of a counselor might help. If he won't go, she might want to consider getting some counseling for her children.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Mary K
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praying for them. is this new behavior? if so, I think he should see a doctor to rule out any physical causes.
God bless,
Mary-NY
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mariB
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Oh dear praying...
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Chris V
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Just reading this makes my heart ache. I cannot imagine anyone behaving so very callous toward my children, especially their very own father, with whom there should be unconditional love and devotion. What a sad, sad situation. Praying for her, her children, and his personal growth and love for family.
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Chris
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cathhomeschool
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Keeping this intention in my daily prayers! The advice I would give is to seek a *good* Christian counselor, at least for the wife. If there is no one local then Pastoral Solutions offers phone counseling.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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Mackfam
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Syncletica wrote:
| What advice would you give to a friend who is losing all respect for her husband? The wife is beginning to think no example is better than his bad example. I don't know what to suggest. Would appreciate prayers and advice. Thank you. |
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In addition to Janette's suggestion of Pastoral Solutions, I wanted to recommend Family Life Institute. Phone counseling or email communication are options and the wife could contact for guidance.
Know that I am praying for this marriage! St. Michael, defend them!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Feb 22 2011 at 10:33pm | IP Logged
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I've been thinking and praying about this situation throughout today. There might be ways to find reduced-cost counseling (I know that at least some branches of Catholic Charities offer counseling at rates based on income) if her health insurance does not cover this type of counseling. I do think it's best to get a recommendation, perhaps from her priest or another trusted advisor, so that a good match with a counselor can happen right away.
It can be hard to find time to see a counselor, especially with young children at home who will need babysitting, but it's worth the effort.
I'm still praying!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Angie Mc
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I tend to not give marital advice to friends or family, even if asked directly. Such advice carries a big responsibility so I tend to sympathize (marriage IS difficult), pray, and do what I can to support them getting help (priest, counselor, self-help group, etc.)
No example is better than a bad example...that's a tough call. If a man wants to be married and wants to be a father and is willing to be open to help, then there is great hope. I'll never make excuses for poor behavior, yet see that MANY men are being attacked on all levels in our culture today (spiritual, emotional, financial, physical, etc.) Under so much pressure - and being men - I can see where frustration can overflow. That's where help is needed...something to intervene - to help a man to learn/figure out how to cope under such stress. The women and children who love him can learn how to help. Setting a few ground rules for everyone to prevent/manage explosive behavior can help such as: no name-calling, yelling only outside or into a pillow, hit only mattresses. Work on only the most important goals first.
I don't know...when I was a child, I remember men pounding their fists on tables, raising their voices, cussing. They mostly did it when women and children weren't too near, when they were with their buddies. They'd yell about the boss, the bills, the football game. They'd name-call and be all kinds of insensitive. Those were simpler times - more space to vent - no accusations of abuse when they were being big, loud, scary. Some of them did cross the line sometimes - hurt their wives and kids - but most didn't...and there was a lot of male peer pressure not to. Anyway, I worry about our expectations of men these days - to handle so much often without natural/buddy/manly support available...and how it sets families up for difficulties.
I sure am praying for your friend and she's lucky to have you to help her to take care of herself during this difficult time. I'm praying for you, too, because it is all so very hard on everyone involved  .
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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stellamaris
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Praying for this difficult situation. I agree with Angie that you may want to refrain from giving advice. Your prayers and support will help her think through the problems that confront her and make decisions that she can act on with confidence. One problem with giving counsel is that you are only hearing half the story; it would be better if they could seek help together from a priest or family counselor so that both of their perspectives can be understood. I'm not meaning to imply that there is ever an excuse for verbally abusive behavior, but there might be aggravations and stressors in the situation that you are not aware of.
I will pray especially that her dh is willing to seek help with her and that they will find the right counseling situation to meet their needs. Praying, too, for wisdom for you.
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Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
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hylabrook1
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No different advice from what others have said. Just wanted to assure you that you and your family are in my prayers.
Peace,
Nancy
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Topic: Prayers and advice
