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Subject Topic: My Daughter Suddenly Wants to Cover Her Post ReplyPost New Topic
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TracyFD
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Posted: Nov 01 2010 at 7:50pm | IP Logged Quote TracyFD

Oops ran out of room in the subject line - she suddenly wants to cover her head!

She is 10 and a half and has become fiercely modest and private about her body. Over the last few weeks she has worn hats indoors or has fashioned bandannas as head coverings. Do the Mennonites know something we don't?   Does anyone here have daughters who have done the same?

I certainly don't mind it, and as long as she feels called to this I would like to provide something more appropriate than her brother's train engineer cap.

Any ideas for something between a mantilla and habit, suitable for everyday? (I can sew by hand, but not by machine)

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Michaela
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Posted: Nov 01 2010 at 10:23pm | IP Logged Quote Michaela

My 10yo daughter sounds like yours..."fiercely modest and private about her body." She also ALWAYS ALWAYS has a head covering (bandanna or large elastic) and also wears her hair in a bun.   

Her reasons probably aren't the reasons your daughter does.

It started more as hair management, which it still is, but now it has grown into part of her wardrobe...matching her head covering to her shirt.
Here she is in the (last) picture holding her little brother with her standard head covering...sure to match her shirt. always...


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amarytbc
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Posted: Nov 01 2010 at 10:35pm | IP Logged Quote amarytbc

I have a string of daughters from college age down to 9, and they have all wanted head coverings at some time or another. It does seem to start around age 8 or a little older and while my daughters are modest, I've linked it over the years to the fact that the coverings are functional (keeps their bangs out of their eyes) or feels right in a fashionable sense. I don't think they would acknowledge the fashionable idea when they were younger, but having seen each of them go through this it does seem to be an influence. I wouldn't read too much into her wanting to do this and would let her use normal things. We have an assortment of banadanas around and some thin knitted tams and berets. It goes in waves. Right now no one has their head covered, but for a good part of the summer two of my dd wore bandanas constantly. It's just a girl thing.
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Willa
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Posted: Nov 01 2010 at 10:45pm | IP Logged Quote Willa

My one daughter did this when she was in her early teens. She would usually wear a bandana or head-scarf. You could look in thrift stores.



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Posted: Nov 02 2010 at 8:04am | IP Logged Quote JenPre

I remember when I was around her age I would wear bandana's all the time. Probably for the same reason! I still wear them at times to control my hair or when doing a deep cleaning.

You could go to the fabric store and have her pick out some pretty fabric that you (and or she!) could then make into bandana shapes.

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JodieLyn
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Posted: Nov 02 2010 at 12:53pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

This is interesting.. we have various hats and such so I'm not sure I ever really noticed a particular leaning to using a covering.. but we all use hats/scraves/bandanas off and on.

There are cute girls hats out there. And winter is a great time for hats.. berets and knit caps and such.

I also moved this over to Mothering and Family Life, it's a better fit and you may get more comments that way.

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Posted: Nov 02 2010 at 7:12pm | IP Logged Quote mamalove

I did that for years. i think it can be a powerful form of penance, though at 10, that is probably not her thought.

You can make cute bandannas or snoods out of pretty fabric that wont look too mennonite. Velvet or lace covered snoods, calico bandannas. All you have to do for those is basically a straight stich.

You can also find some really pretty scarves at the thrift shops, for pennies! Get her some pretty clippies in the hair section, and she will be styled out for every possible fashion occasion a 10 year old needs to be prepared for.
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Posted: Nov 02 2010 at 11:43pm | IP Logged Quote sewcrazy

My 11 covers her hair with a bandanna or scarf most days. I am not sure if it is a "modesty" issue or a comfort thing. Her hair is very long and wavy. By keeping it up and covered it doesn't knot up so much.

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MaryM
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Posted: Nov 03 2010 at 1:11am | IP Logged Quote MaryM

I call 1975-77 my "bandana years" . I hated how wavy/curly my hair got in the front starting around age 11. Really hated it.... Very self-conscious time. Wore the bandana both to hide it and hopefully "flatten" it down a bit. So many of the pictures I have of myself during that time have the bandana - and back in that day they were all the standard western handkerchief variety - nothing like the cute ones that really are stylish today. You've got to remember this was the day of Dorothy Hamill and Farrah Fawcett style cuts and those of us with increasingly wavy/curly hair could not pull that off .Oh, pre-adolescence angst, thanks for bringing that up...

...and sorry to stray off topic since this is about your dd doing this as a modesty gesture. I think it is lovely if she feels drawn to do this. It really is a stylish choice and there are lots of nice options (beyond brother's train engineer cap ).   My own daughter who is almost 15, sometimes does wear hats or bandanas, but not on a regular basis or for this reason, so this hasn't been something I can speak to exactly.



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TracyFD
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Posted: Nov 03 2010 at 6:37pm | IP Logged Quote TracyFD

I am learning so much from your replies. I previously had no idea what a "snood" was!

You know, I am not totally sure her desire to cover her head is due to modesty, I just assumed that it went hand in hand with her private phase. Maybe it is just a girl/comfort thing?

In any case I will be on the lookout for more bandannas and scarves. I even found snood stores online. This is new territory for me!

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Posted: Nov 03 2010 at 7:00pm | IP Logged Quote SuzanneG

Tracy~
I love having my hair back from my face and "contained"!!!! It wasn't a modesty thing for me....more of a comfort or cute-option-to-fussing-with-my-hair. I do it less now that I'm older, but I always loved to have a scarf, headband or bandana on when I was younger. It's also FUN to match things to clothing and it makes a non-outfit actually LOOK like an outfit...you're put together! It's fun!

My girls LOVE LOVE this type of headband: expandable bandana headband
...and so do I!!!! They stay on their head, are easy to put on, keep the hair out of their face (way more than a regular 2-3" headband), and are so cute!
There are lots on Etsy, but they are simple to make too! My dad is making a bunch for my girls for Christmas.

I also like these headbands for me....they are too big for my girls' heads...but they have pretty small heads....they may be ok for your daughter.

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Posted: Nov 03 2010 at 7:23pm | IP Logged Quote Michaela

SuzanneG wrote:
My girls LOVE LOVE this type of headband: expandable bandana headband
...and so do I!!!!


The things we learn!

I LOVE these, Suzanne. I am sure my dd will, too!
Hopefully, I can find a pattern and have my mom help sew a few.

Thanks for posting about these.

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