| Author | |
Mattie
Forum Rookie
Joined: July 14 2008
Location: Colorado
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 83
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2010 at 9:37pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
Hello,
My oldest dd just turned 7 and somehow was switch on her birthday... She is throwing fit like never before, is even bossier, will melt at the drop of a hat... I don't what to do!!! We had a date tonight where I tried to talk to her a little bit. She said that she feels that she is not able to control her emotions and that it's really hard to be the oldest (could not explain why other than that it is hard to always be nice to her younger sibling).
So if someone could please tell me what's going on that would be great!
My sister told me that she noticed the same thing with her oldest who is only 6 months older than my dd....
Any recommendation, books or what not would be fantastic!
Thank you ladies!
God bless,
__________________
Mattie
Maman to 4 beautiful mountain kids in CO
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: Oct 28 2010 at 9:56pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
oh you're definately not alone.. here's a couple of posts about the same type of thing
Help with seven year old
mad 8 year old girl - who is this child?
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Sharyn
Forum Pro
Joined: June 20 2009
Location: Australia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 417
|
| Posted: Oct 29 2010 at 10:03am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Mattie wrote:
| So if someone could please tell me what's going on that would be great! |
|
|
In a nutshell she's growing up. But it's a shock when you notice this new change happening for the first time. The realization, for me anyway, that it all begins earlier than expected. Somewhere in my mind was the thought that she'd start the journey to being a woman at 12/13, not at 7 or 8. I didn't feel at all prepared.
Jodie has given good links. All I would add from my own experience is this is where you begin a step up on virtue training. Mostly they know what they are doing isn't really the right thing, or they just need to be told once they have settled down.
If my dd needs to calm down I send her to her room to do so. Later on she will usually come up and say sorry. I ask her what she did wrong and why it's wrong, and she usually knows. If not I explain, gently.
I find reading books that illustrate virtues eg. Catholic Tales for Boys and Girls by Caryll Houselander, are among the best help because they are so hungry to know what's right to do, they just need to know what that is. These sorts of books give them a reference to draw on in their ever increasing understanding of the world in which they live and how they are to live in it.
When they make a mistake they will remember so and so in the story did the same thing and what they did to fix it. I notice when we haven't read these types of books for a while (when a new baby's been born, or just recently when we moved house)her behavior becomes noticeably less guided, whereas if she's provided food for thought she becomes reflective in a more positive way.
My dd will say, but it is so hard Mum, and I say yes it is, so we must try, try, and try again, and that we must pray for help always. God will never give up on us and we must never give up on His help.
Sometimes we expect too much too soon forgetting they are spiritual babies, and therefore we need to encourage their baby steps, not getting caught up in their emotional state, but being patient, kind and gentle, trying to listen and be understanding.
Listening and understanding means allowing them to have a voice, to let them ask why, to express their frustration. I agree with them that yes it's hard but that we must do these things even though they are hard because this is the way God wants us to live.
__________________
Mum to dd (00), ds (03), dd (04), ds (06), one in God's care (08), dd (09), ds (11), one in God's care (13), and ds (13)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Grace&Chaos
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 07 2010
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1261
|
| Posted: Oct 29 2010 at 11:47am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I'm still learning the ropes on this forum so I couldn't link you to some old threads, but there have been discussions on a book that I found extremely helpful when thinking about my very emotional little girls. The book is The Wonder of Girls by Michael Gurian. Do a search for Michael Gurian or maybe someone else who has read the book can give some more insight.
The book delves into not just social parenting but actually understanding our daughters biologically and neurolocially. It is a good read, I didn't find it boring at all. He does a good job of putting everything together.
He actually explains how even though your daughter might not be technically menstruating she does have certain physiological things already taking place which are preparing her for puberty (as early as 6-7). I read the book several years ago when my oldest dd was a toddler and I'm glad that I did because her behavior at 7 would have blindsided me  .
I'm glad this came up again, I just pulled it off my shelves to reread. Guess what, my second dd (who just turned 7) is going through many of the same issues  .
__________________
Blessings,
Jenny
Mom to dds(00,03) and dss(05,06,08,09)
Grace in Loving Chaos
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SuzanneG
Forum Moderator
Joined: June 17 2006
Location: Idaho
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5465
|
| Posted: Oct 29 2010 at 12:12pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Grace&Chaos wrote:
| I'm still learning the ropes on this forum so I couldn't link you to some old threads, but there have been discussions on a book that I found extremely helpful when thinking about my very emotional little girls. The book is The Wonder of Girls by Michael Gurian. Do a search for Michael Gurian or maybe someone else who has read the book can give some more insight. |
|
|
It was talked about here-The Wonder of Girls and here-Books About Raising Daughters.
And, Barbara C. has a series of posts:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
__________________
Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
greengables
Forum Pro
Joined: May 12 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 108
|
| Posted: Oct 29 2010 at 1:49pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
We have four daughters and only one of them is under age seven. I am glad to read this post as a reminder to me. Quite a few years back, I remember our pediatrician telling me that girls have a small surge of hormones at about age 7 and I wonder if that contributes?
__________________
May God bless you,
Greengables - wife to best friend and mother to 11 blessings on earth
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mom2mpr
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 16 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1550
|
| Posted: Oct 29 2010 at 4:37pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Hmmmm...my ds was like that. 6-7 years was a switch. My sweet little boy turned into...not so sweet.
My dd. Who is now 7. Seems she was always this way
I have been struggling for a few years with her. I will check out these links. Thanks for posting.
Oh, and ds, at 12, is sweet again  Switched back around 10-11.
__________________
Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Grace&Chaos
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 07 2010
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1261
|
| Posted: Oct 29 2010 at 7:45pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
greengables wrote:
Quite a few years back, I remember our pediatrician telling me that girls have a small surge of hormones at about age 7 and I wonder if that contributes?
|
|
|
He does mention this in his book!
Thanks Suzanne for linking  .
__________________
Blessings,
Jenny
Mom to dds(00,03) and dss(05,06,08,09)
Grace in Loving Chaos
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mattie
Forum Rookie
Joined: July 14 2008
Location: Colorado
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 83
|
| Posted: Nov 03 2010 at 6:20pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thank you so much for all the great advice ladies!
I ordered the wonder of girls and should be receiving it soon!
She has calmed down a little since our date, which is great!
Thank you again for everything!
God bless,
__________________
Mattie
Maman to 4 beautiful mountain kids in CO
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: 7 yo girls - help!
