4Real Forums: How do older kids help w/ younger ones?

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: How do older kids help w/ younger ones?

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Kathryn
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Posted: Aug 26 2010 at 3:46pm \| IP Logged

I had a huge post written out but the basics of my questions really are:

How much time do you expect your older children to help w/ the younger ones? The problem here is that I have just my DD 11 1/2 to help w/ the DD 3. DS 10 is waaaay too immature to be left unattended so there's no equal sharing of that responsiblity and DD 11 1/2 is feeling like he gets waay more play time than her b/c she has to help me more w/ DD 3.

How much "free" time do your children get...mostly the olders?

We finish our day by 3ish but if I let them run "free" until bedtime that's 5 HOURS which seems way excessive, however that's usu. what all the neighbor kids are doing and hence, what my older 2 want to do. However, I cannot stay outside and supervise 3 yr old for 5 HOURS when I still need to finish lesson plans for next day, check work, get dinner going and all those other end of the day chores so DD 11 1/2 is having a fit lately that she can't go play for all this "free" time without her little sister.

May be we have some extenuating (sp?) circumstances right now with me being 8 mos pregnant, dad's work schedule is all changed and he's working waay more than usual and we're back in the groove of HS from the easy Summer days but I'm extremely irritated at DD 11's thought process that this is so unfair that she doesn't get allllllll this free time at day's end. ?!?!? Now she's saying if she went back to regular school she'd get her work done during the day and then could play when she came home. AGAIN...I'm like, I don't even think so.

Ok...so long post made only slightly shorter....

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Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)

JodieLyn
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Posted: Aug 26 2010 at 5:04pm \| IP Logged

Start training the 10 yr old.. even if he's only playing with the 3 yr old under your supervision not freeing you up.. well.. he's in training and that will free up your 11 yr old for a while.

Be sure that taking care of the little one involves rewards as well.. i don't pay for babysitting.. but I've been known to buy something special at the store for the one doing the babysitting.. or if they're a bit shy of money to make up the difference.. things like that.. basically they're sharing more of the work of the family they should get more of the rewards too.

You might do things like having your son entertaining the 3 yr old and the 11 yr old starting dinner while you supervise/help both and then when dinner is started they have the time until dinner to play while you watch the 3 yr old.

I can't tell you time amounts or anything though.

Right now we're working on the skill of continuing your work if mom isn't right there watching.. the goal being that I could take the little ones to the store or something and the older kids could do the picking up or whatever chore is their's that day without the littles underfoot and undoing everything.

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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4

All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott

Grace&Chaos
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Posted: Aug 26 2010 at 5:59pm \| IP Logged

Kathryn, my dd 10 1/2 sometimes shows her frustrations to helping me out (babysit) the younger ones. My next dd is close to 7 and thus the responsibilities are less. However she is in training. So there are moments that she will hold the baby or is asked to play specifically with the two year old. I also do ask that either one (along with everyone else) hang out in the room I'm in doing my chores/work. When one of them complains I will give them the option of doing what I'm doing or watch/play with the littles. Sometimes we do end up waiting for lunch while my dd 6 makes lunch (simple sandwiches) for everyone. Usually dd 10 will jump in and help her (because it's taking way to long

). My ds 5 and ds 3 usually end up with tasks as well again to train them to participate.

As for times to give my oldest some "freedom" as she calls it I do agree with Jodie she will get extras that the others don't that may include playdates or activities that are just hers. We have been known to sit in our van and watch a cartoon movie while she is doing her activity. I could go on with examples but sometimes the best thing for me is to remind my girls is that they are part of a family and we need to learn to help each other. One of the reasons we home school is to be a family and become closer to each other. Life would be very different if one or more of our siblings were not around. Of course there are moments when they can envision one not being around (shame on them

)

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Blessings,
Jenny
Mom to dds(00,03) and dss(05,06,08,09)
Grace in Loving Chaos

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