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Pilgrim
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| Posted: May 17 2010 at 11:24am | IP Logged
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I need ideas and encouragement of what to do to cope with those First Trimester days when you feel like you have an awful flu and can just get up off the couch to dress little ones, change diapers, and feed family? How do you accomplish homeschooling? I find it difficult to get all the studies done with dd even when I'm feeling fine due to busy schedule and how much time investment it takes due to slight learning disabilities. What do you do for studies during times like this, is it a priority for you, or do you make relationship time a priority if that's all you can eke out?
Do you have coping helps during these times? What kinds of things do you do with your children to give them the attention they so need , when you feel so sick and like you really can't do anything? It feels like survival mode just to give them attention and keep the house in some kind of order and tidiness. 
Any ideas would be sooooo appreciated. I just feel so tired and lousy today, and long to give the kids what they need, but feel unable to be all that everyone needs.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 17 2010 at 11:43am | IP Logged
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read books on the couch.. use educational dvd's..
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: May 17 2010 at 11:46am | IP Logged
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 , Pilgrim. That first trimester is indeed, one of the very hardest times of my mothering. It's so tough...
This thread: keeping the little ones busy while mom is down focuses on "little ones"....BUT, there is some GREAT GENERAL stuff in there too. I think you'll find it helpful.
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Suzanne in ID
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Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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Pilgrim
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| Posted: May 17 2010 at 12:57pm | IP Logged
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Thank you Suzanne! I've been reading that thread, and getting many great ideas, and some of the encouragement I need. It's great to see that others on the forum who you look up to as "having it all together" have their down times too, and even allow themselves to do less, even much less during those times. Sometimes we ladies expect so much of ourselves, you know we take our job as mothers, and particularly homeschooling mothers seriously. I always have this drive to want to do it all right, which is great and fine, but when one is down you have to learn to allow yourself to do less. I love some of the ideas on scheduling and coping!
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Donna Marie
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| Posted: May 17 2010 at 1:00pm | IP Logged
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Well, this is still fresh in my mind...
What I did is make math mandatory (We use MUS so there are videos to help me!) and made lots of library trips and got out books on a variety of subjects that went in a crate in the living room. This library crate was the best invention ever. We did a lot of re-telling and when I felt better, I had them writing more. But if I felt bad, taking care of me was the first priority. School was second. I knew that I could make up for any time later..even use the summer or learn something in an unorthodox way if needed (a later field trip or dvd or something)
Of course, they still learned some things...kitchen chemistry (they watched Good Eats on You Tube) and I had them reading more on that subject depending on age. I also had them discussing the faith with me based on things they were watching on EWTN kids. I slowly added more things in as I felt better. I am using a modified form of this now as I sometimes feel AWFUL from too much adrenaline in my system and so little sleep.
I figured that this is such a short time of their lives to be inconvenienced...my mother-guilt runs strong, but when I see what they ended up learning during that time despite my condition I feel better. (my midwife keeps telling me that guilt and motherhood go hand-in-hand and I need to go easy on myself...which I realized was the best advice I have gotten so far this pregnancy.)
As far as the housework went, I tried to enlist dh for a few things and get the kids to pitch in more..but of course, it is harder when they can SMELL weakness...LOL
I put blinders on and just tried to do a little at a time when I could. It would add up over the course of the day. I also put away a lot of extra things and got it down to a minimum of toys because I only wanted out what the kids could reasonably handle. Could you get a hand with this kind of thing?
I labeled everyone's mug with their name(my friend sharpie!! I had a different color each day putting a dot of that color on the calendar so I could easily see what day was which color and I could catch if someone's cup missed the wash) and that was the only cup they got to drink from...the rest I put away. I kept a tray on the counter for a 'parking space' for the cups. I had a minimum of plates and bowls too...so less clutter.
They are still telling me that they like the house better this way...whowuddathunk?
One thing I have learned this pregnancy...God used my weakness to help me to see my family better. I have learned what is most important and also what I needed to make sure I taught them LATER when I felt better. Most of the time it wasn't an academic subject that they needed to learn most, it was more character building things...or household habits. I tried not to let those eat me when I was down, instead I tried to think of ways to zero in on that LATER. It was sortof like a long drawn out retreat. We all need to take a step back now and then.
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Donna Marie from NJ
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 17 2010 at 1:07pm | IP Logged
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Another thought that can help keep it in perspective.. how do you want your daughters to learn to treat themselves when they're in this position (or your sons their wives)?? What are you modeling for them? because that will stick with them probably longer than about anything else they'll learn.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Pilgrim
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| Posted: May 17 2010 at 4:23pm | IP Logged
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Thank you Donna Marie, great ideas, and thoughts to roll around.
Great point Jodie!
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Servant2theKing
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| Posted: May 17 2010 at 4:49pm | IP Logged
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And listen to the wise advice my own precious daughter once gave me  ....."Be confident in your parenting!" God and all His holy angels will surely fill in any gaps!
p.s. Edited to add; aren't you amazed that I figured out how to add those emoticons?!? I am!!!!
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Mackfam
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| Posted: May 17 2010 at 10:28pm | IP Logged
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Servant2theKing wrote:
| And listen to the wise advice my own precious daughter once gave me ....."Be confident in your parenting!" God and all His holy angels will surely fill in any gaps! |
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Yes! This!
Trust that this timing is God's timing and that there are abundant supernatural lessons available for your children right now as you live out His plan!! Adjust your expectations to accommodate the season of life God has gifted you with. You'll know when you can do more! Until then, grab a basket of books, and pull all the littles around you on the couch.
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Jen Mackintosh
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: What do you do?
