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Maggie
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| Posted: Feb 25 2010 at 11:02am | IP Logged
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Hi Moms~
I was just on "familywatchdog.us" to look up an area that we are about to put a contract on a home. This area is an *ideal* family neighborhood and a perfect location for us...
However, I just found that a registered s*x offender lives not 2-3 streets from us!
I then looked at the area map in general...and found that really, no matter where you go...there seems to be offenders all over the place. We live in an urban/suburban area...
So...what do you do??!!? I am a bit freaked out by this...and very upset because this man's home address is listed for another county...and then it says "other" address, which happens to be in our neighborhood. So offenders get multiple addresses? Great.
Has anyone gone to Family Watchdog and found this to be the case in their neighborhood?
Sheesh. I cannot believe this. We are ready to sign the contract this morning!!
Thank you.
Maggie
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Wife to dh (12 years) Mama to dd (10) ds (8), dd (1), ds (nb) and to Philip Mary (5/26/09), Lucy Joy (12/6/09), and Margaret Mary (3/6/10) who entered Heaven before we had a chance to hold them.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Feb 25 2010 at 11:11am | IP Logged
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There should be more information on the type of offense so that you can better judge if that person is an actual risk to children or if something else got him (or her) on that list.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Maggie
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| Posted: Feb 25 2010 at 11:24am | IP Logged
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It was an offense against the child. "Lewd and Lasciviousness".
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Wife to dh (12 years) Mama to dd (10) ds (8), dd (1), ds (nb) and to Philip Mary (5/26/09), Lucy Joy (12/6/09), and Margaret Mary (3/6/10) who entered Heaven before we had a chance to hold them.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Feb 25 2010 at 11:29am | IP Logged
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I did notice in looking up the area around my ILs that it's hard to find a place that is much further than 2-3 streets from someone on the list. OR wasn't available at that time so I couldn't tell you around here.. I should check and see if it's available now.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Feb 25 2010 at 11:32am | IP Logged
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Maggie,
We live very rurally and have them listed as all around us. It's very sad. Can I give my knee jerk response and say I miss our German Shepherd? Now, my reasoned response is to be very cautious. Neighborhoods are a little different from rural areas in how one might approach this. In rural areas any traffic or person is noticed easily, but fences are not always practical on large pieces of land. In neighborhoods, there is always someone going by, but one can more easily fence a safe space in their smaller yard.
We do not explain with any detail this type of offense or person to our children. We do, however, gently (but without promoting fear) instill a caution with strangers. I do things like this:
doorbell rings...
children all rush to the door...
I stop them and gently, but quickly explain that they do not rush to the door to answer it, that is my job or daddy's job unless we know who is at the door. They don't open the door for strangers.
outside playing...
I keep a fairly good eye on them, and since we're rural it's unusual to have someone walk down our street. If that happens, they notice and I do encourage them to come inside if something feels "not quite right".
When it comes up naturally as part of the conversation, I encourage them to always pay heed to the "something is not quite right" feeling that God puts in them!!! If something isn't quite right, bring that immediately to Mom and Dad so we can help you know. That conversation can take place comfortably in a number of contexts that don't scare the child, but do reinforce that this feeling can be helpful and Mom and Dad's job is to help them know and understand.
I will say that even if you move somewhere and don't find anyone around you when you move, someone can move into the area the day after you close and you'll still have to deal with this very sad fact of life. We choose to be cautious and protective but careful to shield the child's innocence from knowing the why's.
 to you!! I know how unsettling this is!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Feb 25 2010 at 11:36am | IP Logged
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Jen makes a good point.. even in a neighborhood.. areas will differ in how much traffic there is. We're a small town.. on a dead end street. You can tell if someone doesn't belong here.
And even if no one moves into a safe area.. it could just mean that no one has been caught yet. Or convicted. Or whatever they have to do to end up on the list. 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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folklaur
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| Posted: Feb 25 2010 at 1:12pm | IP Logged
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Maggie wrote:
Has anyone gone to Family Watchdog and found this to be the case in their neighborhood?
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we always check on Family Watchdog before we rent a house (or bought one, too.) we have chosen to not rent a house in some circumstances (it is unlikely that that would be the only reason, but it would factor in, kwim?)
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Sarah M
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| Posted: Feb 25 2010 at 9:53pm | IP Logged
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The house we lived in for the past 5 years has 83 offenders within a 2-mile-radius. No joke. Have I mentioned that I'm glad to be moving out of that city? We were just really careful to keep an eye on the kids when they were outside, and I never ever opened the door for anyone I didn't know. It's kind of par for the course in urban areas.
The house I am preparing to move to (just signed this evening! Yipee!!!) has 0 offenders within a 2-mile-radius. I'm ecstatic about that, and I will say that I ran addresses through the sheriff's offender database before I ever even considered any house. It was top priority for me. But it was interesting to note that even the best areas have offenders nearby- you can't get away from them completely. And even though we'll be living in a (much!) better neighborhood, I'll still be just as careful in keeping an eye out for my kids-- there are, sad to say, plenty of offenders who have not offended yet.
Considering your thoughts, Maggie-- 1 offender? I think that's pretty darn good. Especially if he/she is not a Level III. Even then, I'm not sure you'll find too many houses without any nearby.
Hugs and prayers for your move!
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Nique
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| Posted: Feb 25 2010 at 10:59pm | IP Logged
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Oh I understand how frustrated you must be! And angry!! Did you know Canada has nothing like Family Watchdog? The RCMP would rather protect the offenders, than our children. Now I'm angry 
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I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted - stay up all night or eat ice cream straight out of the container. ~Bill Bryson
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Feb 25 2010 at 11:04pm | IP Logged
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We had an offender living right next door. He moved here after we did. Didn't find out until we moved back after four years away (we rent out the house between tours of duty in area) and discovered that he'd re-offended.  
Littles can learn the basics of stranger danger from the Berenstain Bears book about strangers - very gentle and compassionate, no ugly details...and please, always, always tell your children they can come to you any time and tell you anything and you will believe them. (I am a Boy Scout, Girl Scout, state daycare, diocesan-trained mom...if you reassure your children that you trust them, they'll tell you if they are worried or nervous...)
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Feb 26 2010 at 12:27am | IP Logged
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guitarnan wrote:
We had an offender living right next door. He moved here after we did. Didn't find out until we moved back after four years away (we rent out the house between tours of duty in area) and discovered that he'd re-offended.
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We had a very similar thing happen to us. We moved away from a place for a year, and when we went to move back we found that an offender had moved in to a mobile home on what had been an empty lot right next door. We discovered it when we went over to introduce ourselves and there was one of those big official signs on the door warning that no one under 18 was allowed on the premises, etc.
Needless to say we did not move back, sold the place ASAP to an older, childless couple.
Unfortunately I don't think there is any way to guarantee that there are no offenders nearby. Even if there are none currently, there is nothing to stop one from moving in to your neighborhood after you buy a place.
Your best recourse is to just educate your children (gently and age appropriately), guard them closely, and keep lines of communication open always.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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dakotamidnight
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we live across the street from a school, with 4 offenders within our tiny neighborhood, and many many more not listed or that come to the school.
DD is simply not allowed outside without me present, and we have reinforced from the time she could walk that she is NOT to talk to or go near strangers unless Mama says it's okay.
I also check monthly for new offenders {we live near rentals with a high turnover}, and look for photo's of the offender so I can pull DD in if they come near.
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monica
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| Posted: Feb 26 2010 at 1:45pm | IP Logged
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i checked another site for offenders in our area. our small town is home to a christian college and seminary,so i wasnt suprised that we didnt have many offenders, but there is one a couple miles from here, but when i checked the address, i realized it was a resident/patient of the veterans hospital and he was probably in his 70's. so check that the listed offenders arent residing in a place (hospital, jail, nursing home) your children probably wont ever visit. sometimes its not as scary that way.
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Feb 26 2010 at 1:56pm | IP Logged
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Okay, so I just checked our new address - and while here at our old place, there are about 300 offenders in a 1 mile area - now surprising since it is a very urban area...the new place has one registered offender - fourth degree in*e*t .94 miles from us...
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melanie
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I know it's freaky. Personally, I don't know that I would let that stop me from buying a house. You could buy a house with no sex offender around and one could move in next week, you know? And many, many of these abductions that happen seem to be done by sex offenders that aren't living where they are "supposed" to be anyway. They aren't exactly law abiding citizens, so I've always been kind of exasperated that the media acts surprised when they don't obey the law and stay where they are registered to be. Anyway. I compensate by being generally neurotic and overprotective.  Our neighborhood is *not* that great, and I don't let any of the kids leave our yard alone except the oldest...she has taken her bike to the library four blocks away, with a cell phone in hand, and I'm a basket case the whole time.
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Melanie
homeschooling Maria (13yo), Kain (10yo), Jack (5yo), Tess (2yo), and our newest blessing, Henry Robert, born 4/23!
slightlycrunchycatholic.blogspot.com
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folklaur
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melanie wrote:
| she has taken her bike to the library four blocks away, with a cell phone in hand, and I'm a basket case the whole time. |
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i feel the same way. it was hard to let oldest do things like that, and i haven't had to do so again yet, since my 11yo is autistic, and then next is a 7yo.
i wonder if it is really worse than when we were growing up, when it seems we roamed everywhere. or is it that we have things like 24 hours news coverage, and things like Family Watchdog that, while helpful on the one hand, can also make us feel unsettled.
sigh.
i don't know.
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guitarnan
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That is a good question, Laura. I think it's worse, personally. My parents are very cautious people and they let me go to the library, take the bus to the mall, etc. when I was 13. I have a 12yo and I can't see myself giving her that freedom. (Fortunately, we've been blessed with 2 years of life in rural WV, where they could roam all over our base and local area without harm, so they know what freedom feels like...)
It's so worrisome, but at least we have the online databases so we can check for changes in our own neighborhoods.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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JodieLyn
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I think it's some of all of the above.. it was worse then than we thought, it's worse now than it was then.. and it's made to seem even worse by the constant news and knowing every things that goes wrong all across the nation and around the world.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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folklaur
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i got curious, so started looking.
according to wiki:
Quote:
While the crime rate had risen sharply in the late 1960s and early 1970s, bringing it to a constant all-time high during much of the 1980s, it has drastically declined ever since 1993.
...
In 2004 America's crime rate was roughly the same as in 1970, with the homicide rate being at its lowest level since 1965. |
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and i also wonder if some crimes - especially of a s3xual nature, are now reported and much more openly talked about, where before things were "kept quiet."
but sometimes it seems like the violent crimes are *more* violent, more twisted.
but then i look at historical crimes too, and many of them are pretty bad too.
i don't know. i know i rode my bike all over the place at my ds age. i know i walked home 4 blocks from the bus stop at my dd's age. and i know i wouldn't let them do that now.
but....i didn't live in the same kind of urban/suburban area. i mean, it was probably suburban....but it was a more "rurally" suburban than what i have experienced in AZ & NV.
i just don't know. it makes me feel so very torn and unsettled.
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florasita
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Reality is there always are predators in our neighbourhoods . For all registaries are helful they also give the population a false sense of those are the ones , they've all been and are being dealt with . most offenders will not be registared nor caught or dealt with . This is big in education for prevention to help society change assumption . Predators are in every part of society . Abusive people have no one religion , culture economic status or educational background . Abusers are in all parts of society , justice , social services , educational , religious etc.
They will in fact be our nieghbours , brothers , mothers , dentist etc.
Of all the predators of our family & friends all have been from " nice family nieghbourhoods " all were and are labeled professionals . Predators of children do not live in backlanes and do crack and wear trench coats , well of course some may but maybe you get what I'm saying now 
Predtors of children do not put that title on thier resumes either . I think registries give people perhaps once again false hope too . Now we know where the evil one is we are safe , that kind of false sense of security can be very dangerous . While all one attention will be on that one predator there may be one coming in the back door so to speak .
It is up to us to begin with family to properly educate then go into community and keep our local community safe it is a must .
People are coming round and we hope that in 20-30 yrs we will have the same effect via education as the education about rape 30 yrs ago . child ***abuse is an epidemic now mostly because of people fearing to deal with it properly until people choose to learn rather then hide , well prevention in anything is often the hardest work is it not , be it addiction , heart disease & stroke , diabetes etc.
I try and suggest to everyone to start in your own family attend training yourself , do not wait for the professionals to come to you . Then you can go into your own community and help in the prevention & protection .
I just wrote about the crucial need of local community to help in prevention on our blog for abuse help . you can read it Here if you like .
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: S*X Offender in area...?
