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Zeliemum
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| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 3:44am | IP Logged
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My little nearly 2 yo is driving me to distraction.
He had a lot of intervention during pregnancy, many of you might remember little Augustine, you probably do.
Well he's nearly 2 and he just doesn't stop, climbing on tables, breaking phones, drawing on all the children’s work, breaking plates, glasses, everything. Pulling my 5 yo's hair and enjoying her pain. If anything is on the bench and isn't secure then it is on the floor broken, spilt, and mashed what ever. Not to mention what we have found him doing in the bathroom & toilet. Pouring shampoo out, stuffing toilet paper down the toilet, placing cups into the toilet and you can imagine the rest. 
We can't take our eyes off him for a second. He has gotten my mobile phone today and without me knowing (of course) he has rung my dh at work - twice.
He thinks computers, printers, paper shredders, grillers, TV's are to be played with drawn on, climbed on, or sat on.
He gets into the older children’s personal things and tips them all out, rips them, eats them.
He climbs up the TV unit and hangs there, climbs up into the cupboards, benches, lets himself out of his seat in the car and climbs into the front. Crazy stuff!
It may sound funny but it is really tiring and frustrating for us all. The kids get so upset when he is all over everything when we are trying to school.
We have tried each child watching him for an hour so we can school but he is still a handful for them and we found they weren't getting their work in.
I'm not a big poster here on the forum as I seriously don't find the time and generally if I have an issue or need something, I do a search and find someone else who has experienced it or has some words of wisdom on the topic.
This kid has me tied in knots most of the time and the effect he has on the rest of us can make the atmosphere tight. God is teaching me heroic patience and I'm trying to have it. But I am really struggling
I've never had a child like this, and this is just the tip of the icberg.
I am praying to St Monica, but even my prayer life has been disrupted by this little guy. Now he is cute and I love him to bits, but I think I've aged quicker in the last year than ever.
I'm offering it all up to Our lady and asking Blessed Anna Maria Taigi for help as I do with most things and the rest of my favourite saints.
Sorry for the outpouring but I don’t have any help where I am, we’ve moved away from family and my dh works very hard and long hours at present, so it’s just us.
Does anyone have any suggestions that may help??
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Mother to seven with five in heaven...Spiritualmotherhood for Priests
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 7:52am | IP Logged
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Is there anything, anything he will sit still for?
I had a wild man when younger and found the Teletubbies videos, only 20 minutes, gave me a shower. It was the only thing he would not move from. If you could find that one little break for you all it helps. I didn't LIKE Teletubbies but it was the one thing...
I also found that my days were like no others. The first thing to do each day was a major energy release. Playground run after breakfast. Games in the yard. Release some of the crazy boy. We still have this habit today and are pretty much afternoon schoolers. It is hard socially that our friends are done and we are starting but...
A tough suggestion is to kid proof. Hard to do with the bigger kids but I think they might understand and be able to help for some peace. All the "bad" stuff needs to be locked away and if a big kid uses it, put away when done. Things like scissors, writing instruments, Legos, the phone's need a new safe place, we put our VCR, stereo stuff and TV in a locked cabinet and up high. About the only thing he had "free" access to were books (mostly board books) and his toys that were safe for him to play with alone.
I really think the key to those long years was the energy release. And they were long.... 
I hope that helps. Enjoy the little guy, I do miss those days. The curiosity, the energy, the life, the energy, the exhaustion
Anne
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Michaela
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| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 8:16am | IP Logged
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I don't have anything to add to Anne's suggestions.
I just wanted you to know I will keep you in my prayers.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 8:22am | IP Logged
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I agree with Anne - if there were a safe zone in the house (even a sectioned-off part of a room) where you could be with him and see your children working on school projects - you might get a chance to sit down (even if he's climbing on you).
I had a daycare business in my home for a couple of years and I basically blocked off the family room and kitchen and totally childproofed them. I had a second play area in half of my basement. Can you tell I took care of three boys aged 2 and under?
It sounds really boring to keep a child contained in only part of the house (with child locks on bathroom doors, oven and cupboard doors, etc.) but it was the only way to survive. We played outside at least twice a day unless it was raining or sleeting. I had a lot of toys for the boys but only put so many out each week so they felt like they were playing with "new" things. They loved cars and blocks and the Magna-Doodle. I had to teach one boy not to tear apart all the board books (mainly through redirection and praise for proper book handling), and it took a while, but we did it.
Some boys are just blessed with so much physical strength and energy that parents really struggle with finding ways they can play hard enough to burn it off but safely enough to avoid the ER.
You don't mention the ages of your other children, nor do I know how your home is set up, but giving your tiny powerhouse space near but not in the school area is the best suggestion I can offer.
I'm praying for you, with empathy!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Zeliemum
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| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 5:26pm | IP Logged
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Thank you ladies, I feel like a bit of a wimp here as I usually cope so very well.
I have offered a lot of information also which is not really like me but last night it all got to me, I was feeling very overwhelmed.
I think Augustine is a highly intelligent kid. He is very advanced for his age, is very strong willed and is physically strong also. All good qualities that will come into their own well for the future, no doubt.
With the other children I always had my school area and kitchen area gated off which may explain why this guy gets into so much, maybe the other kids would’ve too if not for the gates. In this new home we just can't, it is very open plan with sliding doors everywhere. I have my fridge locked so that is one area that is out of reach for him.
The yard is good and he does love being outside. We just need a few more play items to keep him entertained – Christmas is coming up so many ideas come to mind.
Getting his energy out in the mornings is a great idea. The children were taking turns putting him on the swing; having fun with him on the trampoline, playing ball with him, but being this is our last term we are working hard to get all our work done for the end of year.
Getting some more boys toys may help. I’ll try it. I’ll try anything at this point.
It's all temporary I know and it is just a tough period for us.
It’s all part of my sanctification and God teaching me virtues which I mustn’t be to strong in.
He is so beautiful with lovely strawberry blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes and a smile that would melt anyone’s heart and was hard fought for (as many of you ladies helped pray him into this world, which I will always be so grateful for).
I think I need to keep praying hard all the way through this time and try not to let it overwhelm me.
Thank you again for you words of wisdom and prayers ladies, I really appreciate them.
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Mother to seven with five in heaven...Spiritualmotherhood for Priests
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doris
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| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 5:36pm | IP Logged
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I haven't got any advice for you but I empathise hugely. I am there too with my nearly 2yo. Also in an open plan house... 
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Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
Frabjous Days
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Erin
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| Posted: Oct 29 2009 at 12:55am | IP Logged
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Chemai
Very, very physically demanding time for you, and it must be very hard with S working such long hours.
For some practical advice Ruth (who lives in Sydney) has some ideas. Also I don't know if you remember when Lynn's Anthony was such a handful, but like Augustine he is very bright and was into everything. What you are describing and more. Anyway she found in the end if she kept him with her all the time and constructively busy he was so much easier. In other words, if she didn't give him 'work' he found his 'own'. Very time consuming but then so was cleaning up messes. You might find some of her workbox links useful.
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BlessedBGod
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| Posted: Oct 29 2009 at 7:26am | IP Logged
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Hey Moms,
I just thought I would add my thoughts to this. You said, "He had a lot of intervention". With his wildness, this reminds me of children with attachment disorders. For that problem, I would tell you to wrap that child up and carry him for hours everyday in your sling or at least tomato stake that child by keeping him at your side. That's tough on mom, but worthwhile to do. With the wildness you are talking about, it sounds like ADHD for which I would test by giving him a high caffeine drink, like Diet Mountain Dew or coffee. If it calms him down, then you know it is ADHD. Give him a stimulant everyday to calm him down...and yes, kids do have that at a young age. I would not stop until I found something to calm him down. Don't let you, your kids or your home :) suffer because of what he is putting you through. Keep on getting aggressive about finding out what is wrong with your little darling. -BlessedBGod JMJ
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Zeliemum
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| Posted: Oct 29 2009 at 9:05am | IP Logged
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Thanks Erin. Today he has been pretty good. He is such a happy little fellow, and I do think he has his good days and bad days. The other day was a bad day.
I have seen this list before Erin, ages ago. I'll really have a good look at it tomorrow for some tips.
He loves being outside and boy13 is going to do the lawn tomorrow, so we will be outside playing, reading to the little ones where he can listen on my knee. I've got a few ideas to try now. I feel much better after having my cathartic outpouring here, to be honest, sometimes it just helps to talk about some of ones difficulties, which is something I don’t often do.
Thank you BBG. I might test him as you have mentioned but that would be as far as I take that one for now. I have seen kids with ADHD and I truly think he isn't suffering from that. I'll try the Mountain Dew test as I don’t want to give him coffee.
Yes it is hard Doris, I share your difficulties.
Michaela thank you too.
Thank you again. God Bless you all.
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Erin
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| Posted: Oct 29 2009 at 4:04pm | IP Logged
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Zeliemum wrote:
| I feel much better after having my cathartic outpouring here, to be honest, sometimes it just helps to talk about some of ones difficulties, which is something I don’t often do. |
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Sometimes my friend that is all that's needed to help, to share and have someone listen. Its called the Sisterhood  Anytime.
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Erin
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Zeliemum
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| Posted: Oct 30 2009 at 8:35am | IP Logged
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  Thanks Erin.
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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: Oct 30 2009 at 9:57am | IP Logged
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Praying for you, Chemai.
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Very difficult toddler...need advice??
