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ShawnaB
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I know that there are families using this board who are feeling led towards adoption. I just spoke to a dear friend who is in the process of adopting from China. She shared with me some alarming statistics. I guess I always thought there were more families wanting to adopt than there are available children...but boy was I wrong.
**Each day 45,000 children die in orphanages worldwide. They most often die of preventable causes...diarrhea, fever, dehyrdration, malnutrition, parasites.
**Only 10% of children in worldwide ophanages are adoptable. Pray for laws to change and for the criteria for "adoptability" to broaden.
**Of the 10% of the children who are adoptable, 55,000 are left waiting to be adopted each year.
**In the countries where children wait in orphanages, abortion is legal. The mothers of these children
chose to give them life, yet they are still dying in orphanages.
God has given me a heart for adoption when He unexpectedly allowed us to adopt our 4th child. Before then, I never really thought about adoption much because we were able to conceive our own children. However, I now am seeing that adoption is notabout a child meeting the need of a family, but a family meeting a child's desperate need.
My friend is working with an agency called Orphans Overseas in Portland OR. They are committed to bringing home as many children as possible. They work to keep the costs as low a possible, and they in no way discourage large families from adopting. The founder has 4 biological children and 5 adopted.
I hope that this post will encourage whoever out there that might need encouragement. I am personally praying that God would direct our family (primarily dh) in His will concerning bringing more children into our family in the future. When you look at the need, its hard to ignore it...
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Shawna, wife of Jacob, mom to Abraham 8 Amelia 5 and Jillian & Jonathan age 3 years http://www.psalm121family.com
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Elizabeth
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Shawna,
I thought that the family size policy was China's regulation, not the agency's...
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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teachingmyown
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Shawna,
I think that there are so many who would be willing to open their hearts and homes to these children, including those of us with large families.
However, from what I have read and heard from friends who have adopted overseas, the cost is prohibitive to those of us struggling on one income as it is. It seems such a cruel irony that money separates these "unwanted" children from the families who want them. Why can't we just fly them over by the plane load and thus release those who are burdened with their care and give them a new life here?
Just my thoughts.
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: Jan 19 2006 at 12:27am | IP Logged
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teachingmyown wrote:
However, from what I have read and heard from friends who have adopted overseas, the cost is prohibitive to those of us struggling on one income as it is. It seems such a cruel irony that money separates these "unwanted" children from the families who want them. Why can't we just fly them over by the plane load and thus release those who are burdened with their care and give them a new life here?
Just my thoughts. |
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Molly, I might be able to answer your concern in part.
I use to work for an adoption agency. It was run by a lovely Catholic couple who hsed for awhile. We still keep in touch.
I was allowed to bring my dc to the office with me. Besides regular office duties, I spent time with the director explaining the specifics to perspective parents who were livid that the adoption agency was trying to make a killing off "selling babies."
This was about seven years ago...Chelsea was still a baby. I remember the "cost" of adopting a child from overseasa was between $18,000-$20,000. Chels would toddle around the office while I and the eager parents went through a list of charges that had to be paid:
*Medical tests to make sure the child did not have AIDS, herpes, malaria, etc.
*Fees for the lawyer who did the overseas paperwork
*Fees to the orphanage where the child had to be fed and clothed and the staff paid
*Fees for the red tape that was an inevitable part of the Guatemalan transfer
*Court costs for filing and releasing information
*Social workers must be paid
*Fees for the birth certificate and American citizenship
*Flight fees back to America
I could go on but I won't bore you. 
My point is, here in America, we pay (no matter how much it hurts) $12,000 and better for a new vehicle. And $12,000 is stripped and manual windows. People are easily getting 7 year car notes for vehicles that cost $30,000-$40,000 dollars.
But when they have to "pay" the expenses that goes into the adoption of a baby, they freak!
I'm not saying anyone here is implying this. In no way is that my reason for addressing this subject. I'm probably not coming across very diplomatic, but I'm trying to be realistic and offer another "side" of the desk, just for you to think about.
What I am saying (or attempting to) is that there is absolutely no price for a life. I have seen couples ready to jump on a plane and go pick-up their child. But...nothing is ever that simple. It's a fact of life.
I'm not sure how much the adoption cost has risen since I worked but $20,000-$25,000 is nothing when compared to a $30,000 vehicle whose lifespan won't match the life of the note. A baby's life is far more precious.
I saw at the link Shawna gave a link for China adoptions beginning at $13,000. Not bad. Not bad at all if you look at the expenses that have to be taken out of that sum.
I'm not justifying the fact that babies have a price tag. It's a sad reality. I'm sure Mother Teresa would have gladly skipped the formalities and given babies to a good home. But, everything has a price. And, since this is a fact of life, I would rather spend time debating the price on a new truck than the price that goes with adoption.
The fact that 45,000 children die each day in orphanages worldwide (see Shawna's post) speaks unforgivably of Americans and other rich nations who live in high $$$ homes and drive high $$$ vehicles at the expense of taking these children into their homes.
Are we all at fault? Looking at all I have, what's my excuse?
I wanted to clarify and ask that you trust that the agencies are not "selling" babies. They cannot get out of paying these fees anymore than the baby can get out of his circumstances.
These agencies want these babies to have good homes. The reputable agencies are not in it for the money. The couple I worked for had had their own painful personal experience. They wanted to help other people and get babies into their homes. You can read their story
here.
Btw, the agency I worked for dealt mainly with Guatemalan adoptions. And, yes, the living conditions in Guatamala are as bad as you've been told.
Once again, I've gotten long-winded. So sorry.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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ShawnaB
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Cay, you articulated so well what was in my heart when I heard these statistics..."what's my excuse?" We were at first were shocked at the costs associated with Jonathan's domestic adoption, but when we really thought about it, he cost about as much as a C-section, but less than our minivan!  But of course, you can't put any value on his precious life!
I do think that there are many reputable agencies with their hearts in the right place. And there are some tax incentives and sponsorships, etc. but the truth is, yes, adoption is very expensive, and can be a big sacrifice. However, I know that families who really feel called to adoption will not let money stand in the way. And God is big enough to meet any need. I've begun to think that donations given to agencies to help make adoption more affordable for families would be money very well spent.
But Molly, I'm with you...let just charter a big plane, bring a bunch of preciouses home, and start distributing them to all the wonderful families we know.... 
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Shawna, wife of Jacob, mom to Abraham 8 Amelia 5 and Jillian & Jonathan age 3 years http://www.psalm121family.com
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JennGM
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Cay,
Good point, but don't you have to pay all this in one lump sum? I can buy a car, but over time. I can't finance an adoption as easily.
And American adoptions you get Tax credit for...is it the same for overseas adoptions?
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Jennifer G. Miller
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Family in Feast and Feria
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Jen L.
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I am the first to admit that I know almost nothing about adoption. You all have gotten me really thinking and starting some research. Anyway, I don't know about the reliability of these sites, but they look good -- there are more options than I imagined.
Financing Adoption
Celebrate Adoption
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Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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Cay Gibson
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jenngm67 wrote:
Cay,
Good point, but don't you have to pay all this in one lump sum? I can buy a car, but over time. I can't finance an adoption as easily. |
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There is financial assistance availab,e Jenn. The adoption agency should have a sheet to give you on getting assistance.
jenngm67 wrote:
| And American adoptions you get Tax credit for...is it the same for overseas adoptions? |
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That I'm not sure of. I didn't pay attention to that aspect. Let me know if you need me to find out.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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teachingmyown
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Cay,
You gave me alot to think about. You made some good points. I still think it is alot of money, but I do not think that there is a price too high for a human life.
We certainly don't drive new, or close to new vehicles, we don't vacation at Club Med or buy designer clothes. But I am sure there are ways to find the money.
My husband would throw a fit if I talked about it right now. He thinks I already teetering near the edge , can't imagine where he got that idea! But it is definitely something to pray about. My heart breaks every summer when they bring the Russian orphans to America only to send so many back home because they didn't find homes for them, and I suspect it is mainly because of financial reasons. It would just seem so simple to leave them here and save the plane fare back. We would gladly welcome one or more into our home.
Thanks again, Cay.
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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lapazfarm
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I just wanted to add to the discussion that there is always the option of adopting a waiting child here in the US. The are thousands of children available for adoption right now, right here. There is usually no cost at all involved ( I think we ended up paying a grand total of $40.00), and in fact the states will pay a stipend to families adopting these children that nobody wants. Why? They are not babies,they have been abused or neglected, they are part of a sibling group, or they are not white. They are considered by many to be unadoptable. So the government does not want money to get in the way if someone is willing and able to give them a forever family.
If you truly feel called to adopt and can open your heart and home to one of these unfortunate ones, you can contact your local DSS or CFS (whatever the agency is called in your state) and find out more.
I have to add a cautionary note. These children were removed from their homes for very good reasons, so they are not without a certain amount of baggage.There is some pretty scary stuff out there. Do educate yourselves as to their issues before you jump in, and know that love is not enough to help many of them. I speak from experience having adopted two special needs children. One has worked out beautifully but the other has, to our deepest sorrow, not.
Just food for thought.
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Rachel May
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lapazfarm wrote:
There is some pretty scary stuff out there. Do educate yourselves as to their issues before you jump in, and know that love is not enough to help many of them. I speak from experience having adopted two special needs children. One has worked out beautifully but the other has, to our deepest sorrow, not.
Just food for thought. |
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I admire you. Just today I was whining to God about the "difficult" kid he had given me, but I know that He truly has been generous with me.
I often pray for a heart that is open to adoption. I love the idea but am afraid of the reality. I recently heard of a local family who adopted 7 siblings at once. They had no children before that day. I'm not brave like that, but I would love to be.
God bless you all who have hearts to accept these little and not so little ones.
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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wamegomom
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I'm late catching up on this thread, but I'm happy to jump in as an adoptive mom of 4 Chinese children and as a program director for an adoption agency. Some agencies DO make a profit. Most do not. A good way to check on legitimacy of charges is to compare several agencies' listed costs for the same adoption program, like China. There really shouldn't be more than about a thousand dollars difference. There are fees that agencies do not set--foreign governments or attorneys do. Agency fees for their work, though, should be pretty close.
Elizabeth is right that in the case of China, the government agency involved in adoptions in Beijing, the China Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA) is the entity that makes the rules. Any American agency that tells you otherwise is not telling you the truth. Sometimes, in the case of a hard-to-place special needs child, the CCAA will grant a family-size waiver, but not every request for one is granted. Otherwise we would have at least two more children from China!!!!!!! And believe me, the children and I pray every day for a change in the family-size policy. My children KNOW that they have at least one more sister out there somewhere.
As far as the federal tax credit goes, yes it is a help and it is for domestic and international adoptions. You get a credit for up to $10,500 of your adoption expenses (like homestudy, physicals for the adopting parents, airline tickets to bring your child home, meals in the foreign country--whatever is necessary to spend to bring your darling home) and it is income-linked. Any agency can give you the details. (There is a movement to make the tax credit $15,000 which would be great!) My home state, Kansas, also has a state adoption credit. Every bit helps. Many agencies also help you find grants. You don't have to pay it all in one sum. Some agencies discount their agency fee if you pay it within 60 days of application or if you are adopting a child with forseeable medical expenses down the road. Some I'm familiar with have even dropped their agency fee entirely and done the adoption at a financial loss to themselves. As Cay said, there are unavoidable expenses that are definitely not "baby-selling". Not everyone understands that, and even families for whom we have waived the agency fee complain that they are charged for overnighting their documents to a foreign country, for ex. So far, we haven't found the contact information for the adoption fairy that Fedexes for free <VBG>!!!!!
Reputable agencies are always happy to give you a breakdown of the fees so you can compare apples to apples in selecting an agency. If one won't, you don't want to work with them.
I would LOVE to see more Catholic homeschooling families adopt. With grants, the tax credits, and compassionate agencies, it can be done.
Mary Alice (for whom adoption is a favorite subject!)
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MichelleW
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Shawna,
Thank you so much for this link. We completed or application and started the process this week. We are so blessed by your soft heart.
Michelle
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Lisa R
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Michelle,
Wow!! We just started our process this week, too!  We are so excited. The wait is going to be so hard!
Blessings on your journey.
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God Bless!
Lisa, married to my best friend, Ray and loving my blessings Joshua (17)and Jacob(15), Hannah(7) and Rachel (5)!Holy Family Academy
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Adoptive Families are needed
