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Michaela
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| Posted: Sept 01 2009 at 2:33pm | IP Logged
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In the past several months, starting when my in-laws were living with us, my children have been exposed to "the world" more than I'm comfortable with....more than I want to be.
When Nicholas was being bullied by his cousins, he was certainly influenced by the older boy going into his own world with headphones and music. Nicholas started doing that and I let him because he was safe from his cousins. He could tune out everything going on. HOWEVER, I had no idea the kind of music that is out there on the radio. I'm certainly no prude and realize I grew up just fine listening to music, but it seems to have influenced him.
Today, a friend sent him an email about the end of times.  I thought email was something innocent to keep up with friends while homeschool classes are out, but I see now there is an influence that I didn't count on.
It's the little things that are adding up with all of my children.
Here comes that crazy part -- remember back at the beginning of the year when everyone picked their word for the year? Well, mine was TRANSFORM. I never did -- too busy, too something....but for the past two months I honestly feel like Our Lord is hitting me in the head with the word -- literally THE WORD -- Romans 12:2
Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.
I absolutely KNOW God wants more from me....wants me to get back on the right path, but I don't really know how.
I feel like I should get rid of the TV, at least to basic cable (DH won't have it), I don't like the kids on the computer anymore, I want our faith to be center, but what I think needs to be done may be too much. It will certainly be too much for my hubby, and without him....what's the point?
Once a child (children) are exposed to too much...can I reverse course sucessfully? Exposing them to the beauty of the music we used to listen to -- end the internet -- tv, well ... off while daddy isn't home -- kick up Bible reading, saint stories, our faith life without it being so strange or wierd to them making them want to rebel?
I just feel like we are heading down the wrong path, but I really don't know how much of a 180 I should do without seeming like a freak to my family.   and maybe to myself because what I see is a complete change. Tightening the reins....much more focused.
Mainly, I *know* God is telling me to transform, but I don't know what He wants exactly.
Love all of you ladies!
Well, this was long, but I feel better for sharing how strange I've been feeling.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Sept 01 2009 at 2:46pm | IP Logged
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Definately, all my kids email comes to ME first (even though they have their own addresses) only after I screen it do they get it.. an option vs no use at all. And I make it simple on myself.. if it's a FWD it's probably not worth my time or the kids.
TV's can also have rules.. so yep.. turn it off.
Consider using some of these resources though.. what about EWTN on the tv? what about catholic reading on the computer? what about catholic music on the stereo or headphones.
And sit the kids down and tell them. We've gone overboard in these things.. and we need to cut them back.. and have them write down 3 things they can do instead of tv/computer/headphones (gets them thinking positively instead of about what they think they're losing)
Work with them.. find music they like that you approve of.. and even if you don't want them to have a solid diet of it.. let them mix in a few songs along with the others.. love the computer for this.. I can make playlists and play them on the computer or burn a disk to play on the stereo. That way you can mix maybe a bit of a style they seem to really like in with other stuff that you like and want them to hear.
Work to the positive, start presenting the alternatives in a positive light and then you're not having to condemn the other.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Michaela
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| Posted: Sept 01 2009 at 2:56pm | IP Logged
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JodieLyn wrote:
| And sit the kids down and tell them. We've gone overboard in these things.. and we need to cut them back.. |
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You've hit the nail on the head! I feel like crying because you understand my long, scattered post.
Those words are PERFECT. Somehow those words calm the confusion I was feeling.
I truly appreciate your response, Jodie. 
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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Bethany
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| Posted: Sept 01 2009 at 4:25pm | IP Logged
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Michaela,
I don't have much advice, just sympathy . I have the same problem with the TV. If it was up to me it would be gone completely. However, DH cannot imagine that, we keep it mainly for football season. During the day however, it rarely comes on. My girls are younger than yours so we've not encountered too much outside influences yet, but I know we're getting closer to that happening.
I think telling them its gone overboard is perfect. I will also say that around here most shows or music is geared to the youngest members of the family. My girls don't use the computer at all and I intend to keep it that way as long as possible. Good luck with reigning things in.
__________________
Bethany
Wife to Mike, Mommy to Amelia (6/02), Sarah (10/03), Martha Grace (10/05), Rebecca Anne (12/07), Laura Catherine (3/10) and Reed Michael 7/4/14.
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Sept 01 2009 at 4:33pm | IP Logged
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Another suggestion...substitute.
If time permits, have a board game at the ready when children ask for computer games. Have a DVD all ready to go when it is TV time...an old-time TV series episode, Veggie Tales, family videos, etc. (My dd's friends all watch I Love Lucy, etc. etc. and love those old shows!)
My dd loves music (and her iPod) but we've tried hard to steer her toward things she can use (dance practice songs) and to music we like. My newest plot is to get her to fall in love with the new L'Angelus CD (sacred hymns)...it sure worked with their Christmas CD last year...how I look forward to, hopefully, hearing her sing those beautiful old hymns around the house.
I find it's my dd (11) who is more in the world than ds, when it comes to TV and music and email, so I try to keep her very, very busy so she has less time for those things. She paints T-shirts and does all kinds of crafts...hmmm, who could have strewn all that stuff around for her to find?
This is a great time of year to re-focus - All Saints, Advent and more are just around the corner!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Waverley
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| Posted: Sept 01 2009 at 5:54pm | IP Logged
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JodieLyn wrote:
| and have them write down 3 things they can do instead of tv/computer/headphones (gets them thinking positively instead of about what they think they're losing) |
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I agree with all of Jodie's advice but especially this part. What a great idea to get them involved in the process of developing alternatives.
I would also encourage you to turn off the TV and secular radio. Perhaps you could put the changes in the context of starting the new school year with school year rules as opposed to summer rules.
Good luck to you. It's not too late to take back your family!!
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Waverley
wife to Dh for 19 years, dd (16), dd (11), dd (8), ds (6), dd (4), dd (9-13-1996)
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Karen T
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| Posted: Sept 07 2009 at 7:55am | IP Logged
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These are all great suggestions and I can totally sympathize with you! Especially the part about dh not being on the same page as you. A big thing around here is the video games - my 16 yo ds has gotten increasingly more violent games (nothing M - he knows that would be going too far here, but even things like LOtR are just lots of killing) and though we've put limits on the time allowed to play (none during school days, 2 hrs total per day on weekends but not all at once) it is still more than I'd like. He has also become much more interested in music, as he learned electric guitar last year and is pretty good I think. he plays in our church's youth band but that's not enough - his tastes run to a lot of bands like AC/DC, Guns n Roses, etc. Maybe that's even OK for someone his age, who has some maturity (not that he does, but that's another post  ) but now my 9 and 8 yos are exposed to all that - we would never have let the oldest listen to that type of music at those ages, but now dh doesn't see the harm in letting ds9 fall asleep listening to that stuff!
Karen T in Md
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LucyP
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| Posted: Sept 09 2009 at 7:20am | IP Logged
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I think it sounds so exciting to look at transforming! Maybe if you share with them what you feel God is showing you, and ask them all for input - I'm sure they would have ideas on things to change too, and some of their ideas might be workable. (recently my son had the idea that we should spend more time as a family by getting a fishing boat and becoming fishermen full-time!)
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: What's a Mom to do?
