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doris
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| Posted: July 22 2009 at 5:57pm | IP Logged
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I hesitate to call it OCD -- but my poor 8yo dd is really anxious about germs. Ever since we all came down with gastroenteritis, and the baby ended up in hospital, my dd has been verging on paranoid about germs. Her hands are dry from frequent washing, and several times an hour she asks me, 'Is it ok for me to eat/touch/do x?' or 'Should I wash my hands?' I think it stems from her extreme horror of the experience of being sick, added to the precautions that we're taking (just handwashing after being out, really) because of the rampant swine flu that there is in London.
I'm on a short fuse through lack of sleep (that's another thread, or two...) and I'm sorry to say that I haven't handled this as patiently as I might. Well, I started off patient, then got fed up 
Has anyone else dealt with this? Any suggestions?
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Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: July 22 2009 at 6:39pm | IP Logged
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hmmm a list of times when you should wash hands..
after using the bathroom
before eating or preparing food
after being away from home
That might help her feel more in control.. she may just be feeling confused about when to wash hands and erring on too often.
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: July 22 2009 at 8:18pm | IP Logged
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Elizabeth - Whenever my dc have medically-related anxieties (and one of them in particular is prone to this), I have them bring their concerns to Dad (a doctor). Even if he *semi-makes something up*, they are confident that they no longer need to worry over whatever it is. Could your doctor husband help in a similar way?
Peace,
Nancy
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Booksnbabes
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| Posted: July 22 2009 at 10:38pm | IP Logged
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Our eldest is this way. We bought a bottle of hand sanitizer to use for those times washing really isn't needed. It kept dry skin at bay and cut the washing down to the really necessary times--before meals, after using the restroom, after being outside, after handling pets or cleaning pet cages. We stressed using only a little at a time so the bottle would last! 
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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: July 23 2009 at 10:11am | IP Logged
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Elizabeth,
So sorry to hear that you have been through so much! Is your 8 year old your oldest? I think sometimes the oldest picks up on our own fears more than we think. (Not to make it something you did of course!!!) My eldest son went through a germ-a-phobic stage at around the same age. I think they are finally aware that there are things around them they cannot see whereas when they were little, that concept didn't sink in. My son used to wash his hands to the point of cracking/bleeding too. (so dry) Also, if he went into the dog's "airspace" as he called it, he would come in and wash and wash his hands. He never even touched the dog!!!!! 
It really helped to make sure he did NOT wash with antibacterial soap or dishsoap. Those soaps are VERY drying. I told him to just wash with regular soap, and to not use such hot water but tried not to make a huge deal out of it. Or, if I saw him washing, I would tell him, "I am sure they are really clean now, sweetie" and he would stop. I think they are possibly unsure of what "clean" is at this age, but again, being aware that this unseen things make them sick...a real recipe for confusion perhaps??? He has since grown out of it and happily wears the same shirt for several days now!!! One other funny thing he used to do. He is involved in a church apostolic group that visits people in nursing homes. When he was much younger, as he joined right after his First Holy Communion, he used to take off all his clothes and shoes when he got home and ask me to wash them all! Even his shoes!!!! What a cross I suppose that he was so overwhelmed with the thought of germs in the hospital. He would often sometimes shower too. He doesn't do either anymore. So, once she understands things a little more, I am sure she will grow out of it. Maybe talk to her about how good it is that she is conscience about cleanliness, but also try to counsel her as to what is enough. (At home, just wash hands once before a meal and your o.k. While out, yes, better to wash more since there is a germ going around, but we can relax a little more once that has passed sort of thing.) Maybe she just doesn't get the limits due to her maturity level/age.
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doris
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| Posted: July 23 2009 at 10:25am | IP Logged
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Thanks, all, for your kind and wise words. We've had a good chat about it now and I think dd is a bit happier about things. As you say, it's all about putting things in context, which an 8yo isn't really able to do. But when I told her that there were only 200 or so cases of swine flu in a country of more than 60 million, she visibly relaxed.
Yes, she is my eldest, and I think she does pick up on my fears. Also, I tend to think of her as older than she really is. Nancy, that's a good suggestion to get dh to talk to her.
Baby about to turn off computer, guess my time is up!
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Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
Frabjous Days
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juststartn
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| Posted: July 23 2009 at 3:28pm | IP Logged
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You know, Elizabeth, you may want to put her on cleanup duty. Door knobs, faucets, door frames, etc around the house.
Rachel
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: 8yo child with major germ anxiety
