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Maryan
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| Posted: July 15 2009 at 6:57am | IP Logged
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I'm not even sure that I'm interested in weaning my little guy, but my lack of sleep is making me want to talk about it! 
So.... background: I've never had to wean a baby; all my boys weaned as soon as I was 4 1/2 - 5 months pregnant with the next baby... maybe I dried up or didn't taste good? But after #5, we can't seem to get pregnant (making me feel very 39), so weaning option A won't work this time. My two oldest nursers were 16 mo.
So my baby is 18 months... and if I'm around, shows no sign of weaning. If left with Dad, he's happy as a lark eating and drinking whatever.
Not sure what I'll do, but I'd just like to hear stories as I have just entered this new 18 month old nursing adventure!
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Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
A Lee in the Woudes
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amyable
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I'm thinking about the same things right now! Toddler's almost 22 months old, and although I've nursed longer, I'm so ready to be done. On the other hand, seeing as he may be our last, part of me wants to hold on to this. But I've really been watching him, and I know *neither* of us are at our best when we are nursing - he is whiny and demanding and I'm having panic attacks. 
Have you thought about just night weaning? I think we may go that route first. Honestly, we've done it by me leaving the room and sleeping on the couch for a few weeks. Dad takes over night times and after a few days baby has slept through the night (previous babies, not this one yet...)
I've never weaned a toddler - my first weaned herself at 13 months, the next two I had to wean at 9/10 months for medical reasons, the fourth weaned at 3 when she just stopped asking...and here we are at #5.
I can't wait to hear others' stories.
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
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missionfamily
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| Posted: July 15 2009 at 8:34am | IP Logged
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How about we meet up for a girl's weekend--maybe that will be long enough for him to be happy with Daddy and let it go...I'm just sayin' 
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: July 15 2009 at 10:48am | IP Logged
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I have heard that the best time to wean is from 15-18 months, so we are all out of luck!  Just kidding. But they do say that at that age they are more easily distracted and seem to get over it quickly. After that, they could nurse forever.
I have only intentionally weaned two children. My oldest always had a supplemental bottle so he didn't have much use for me once he was really mobile. I was young and inexperienced and thought all babies were supposed to wean by a year. The other child I weaned, my next son, was about 26 months and I was tandem nursing him and his newborn sister. It was very hard for me to tandem nurse and we finally resorted to having dh put him to sleep while watching Veggie Tales and then put him to bed.  Not the best plan, but I needed to wean him. With all the others, I ran out of milk about half way through a pregnancy so it was out of my hands.
Seth is almost 19 months and has no intention of weaning. He will still nurse all night sometimes. Some days, he hardly nurses at all and some days it is hourly. I think distraction is the key at this age. Have the big boys keep him busy and give him a drink during the day. At night, keep your distance so he doesn't wake up smelling you and wanting to nurse.
In some ways, I really want to wean. I would like an opportunity to focus on getting myself in optimum health doing things like a good cleanse and taking some supplements that I can't take while nursing. At the same time, I know that this won't last forever and this is his time. My time will (hopefully) come. Having been pregnant and/or nursing for 14 years running now, I do wonder. I know many of you can tell me how soon it really does come.
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SaraP
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| Posted: July 15 2009 at 11:30am | IP Logged
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Is nursing itself the problem or is it nursing at night?
I night-weaned DS1 at about 18 months because with a newborn as well I was just too tired trying to nurse them both through the night. My DH slept with him in a separate room for a week or so and after that he would sometimes wake up and ask to nurse at night, but always accepted a 'no' and went back to sleep pretty quickly. We kept tandem nursing during the day for anothet 2 years.
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: July 15 2009 at 12:17pm | IP Logged
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I'm dealing with weaning issues, too. With my first two I started getting sick of nursing around 13 months. I loved it up 'til then something switched and I just wanted to be left alone. I usually tried to coincide night weaning with my husband's school breaks (so he could get sleep), but I think I was taking over-all weaning too fast (usually by 15 months) because I got terribly engorged both times I weaned.
So, here I am with number three. She's fourteen months. She's not eating as much solid food as the others were at this age. I've been focusing more on day weaning than night weaning, so that she can stay with her Granny for short periods. I haven't hit my physical nursing saturation point, yet, though. I may try to make it to 18 months with her.
One of my concerns at this point, though, is that my fertility may not return until she is completely weaned...
So, I'll take any tips, ideas, suggestions for making this weaning thing run smoother, too.
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Barbara
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mom2mpr
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I nursed dd until 4!! Yes, 4!! I never thought it would happen but at 2 years of age we were in the throes of moving, and a bunch of other hard stuff. I just did what made her feel better and it was quick and easy.
It was harder to wean at 4 than I could have imagined. But with all the "stuff" going on it probably impacted her and affected her confidence to do it easily. I thought she didn't really get anything so it was going to be easy for me. Ha! She was getting milk! And I was in some pain for a few days. Even just weaning her from 1 nursing a day at bedtime. However, I am not sure she could have done an every other night plan. She was a little sad and cried for about 5 minutes for 2 nights. I stayed with her until she fell asleep, then it was done.
She probably needed it. She wasn't eating much real food at one year and does have some allergies. Her eczema got much worse about a year after we finished. I am glad I did it, and when her eczema was bad, I wished I still was. But she was 5!
Ds was done at 17-18 months. And he was pretty easy. And he was my avid nurser. But not so much at that age. He was my first. The one I thought I would nurse a long time. But, that age seemed to be perfect.
Nice thing about nursing older babes is they get the waiting thing. Other people never knew my kids nursed so long. We mostly did it in private. And at nighttime. I didn't mind, by the end of the day I would do about anything for them to go to sleep quickly and peacefully
And I usually did too!
That's my story.
Anne
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Jenny
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This will sound very strange, unless I've said it here before
I have weaned 3 children using the weaning dates found in the Farmers Almanac. About a day or two before the weaning date, I try to keep busy during the day and keep the baby distracted. This continues through the weaning day and maybe a couple of days after the weaning day. They are usually weaned by then. On the days before, although I try to keep busy (and not sit down ), if the baby is really, really, needing to nurse, I will, but briefly. But NOT on the weaning day. There has been little fussing involved using these days.
Weaning my first baby, while nursing a 2 month old was a tough wean, for both of us. When I was about 5 months pregnant with my third, I wanted to wean my 2nd because I did not want to tandem nurse again. A lady at the health food store told me to try weaning by the Farmers Almanac. It was very, very, easy to wean her. When I was about 5 months pregnant with my 4th, I again used the weaning dates to wean number 3. She was about 16 months old. When I was about 4 months pregnant with number 5 (starting to see a pattern? ) I tried weaning him, but my heart was not in it yet. He did not wean then, we tried again a month later and he weaned very easily. Number 5 weaned on her own and I'm nursing a 14 month old right now.
Best Days to Wean
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Jenny
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KauaiCatholic
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| Posted: July 15 2009 at 3:37pm | IP Logged
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both of my DC night-nursed until age 2 ... technically. in reality, they were weaned RIGHT before their 3rd birthdays.
both were eating well and taking bottles from DH when I was at work, but both showed zero interest in being done with the nursing relationship. and I cherished the closeness (not to mention the ease of providing comfort for traumatic toddler moments), so there you have it. we do the family bed route so the lack of sleep wasn't really an issue. the time just slipped by until I realized 3 was approaching and the cutting off was going to have to be up to me.
my DS was fine after a few grumpy nights; I think it was more of a habit than anything else. but my DD was much more determined. in the end the issue was forced when I had to be away for a long weekend. I was probably in more pain then she was.
FWIW, she has more "oral fixation" issues today than he does; still REALLY likes to chew on things. sometimes I wonder if I did her wrong somehow, or maybe she's just wired that way and that's why she was so determined?
dunno if any of this helps, but just wanted to share another experience. I'll say a prayer for your discernment/decision.
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 Viviane
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Maryan
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| Posted: July 15 2009 at 6:20pm | IP Logged
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Great helps ladies... from Colleen's suggestion  to Jenny's farmer's almanac! Thank you! Really nodding my head at all these posts. I need just a lot of thoughts to ponder and then probably while I'm trying to decide, he'll wean?
We do the family bed, but he's been teething for months and at night he never sleeps more than 3 hours a night. He goes back to bed the first couple wake-ups, but from 3 am onward, he hurts me and is really restless! So just tired. But not sure I'm ready to stop if he's not? But some nights I definitely am ready...in theory.
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Maryan
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Jenny
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We share a bed as well. None of my children ever slept through the night until they weaned.
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Jenny
Chris' wife and momma of 7. My blog: The Littlest Way--Bible Journaling, Inspiring Bible Quotes, Daily Affirmations, Prayer Journaling & photography
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MaryM
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| Posted: July 16 2009 at 2:32am | IP Logged
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I would also suggest first focusing on the night weaning and see how you feel after that. Since you mention him being happy as a lark with Daddy, letting him handle night-time duty for awhile (it's summer break right?) and conveniently being unavailable during that time would be a tactic to try (especially during that 3 onward time frame).
And I've been involved in breastfeeding counseling for a long time, but the weaning by the Farmer's Almanac was new to me . Interesting to hear about it from someone who had tried it, Jenny.
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Angel
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Night-weaning... sounds as if dad has to be involved quite a bit?
To be honest, my 23 month old *only* nurses when he wants to go to sleep. This means that he nurses right before naptime, before bedtime, and one or two-ish times a night. I've never had to wean a baby either, but he shows no signs of stopping and will not lay down by himself if I nurse him to sleep... this means he has to sleep on me for two hours every afternoon. It's getting a little old. And then there's the whole fertility thing... a bit strange to have this much of a gap between pregnancies for me, too.
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Fuzzy
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Poor Maryan! I don't know how you get through the day with such a rough night.
I wonder if it will be harder to night wean if the baby is in the bed with you still?
I wish I could offer advice, but my babies have (so far) have weaned themselves at about 10-12 months. One because I was pregnant, and the second because she was so independent. But I found that it was easier because they had their own rooms.
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Fuzzy
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HeatherS
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We are expecting our 5th dc in mid-Jan., and I've nursed all but my eldest (she self-led weaning at 9 mos.) throughout my pregnancies & tandem nursed 4+ mos. after delivery (ours are 15-18 mos. apart, these last 2 dc will be 2-1/2 years apart). With this newest little one I will need, b/c of pre-term labor issues & serious complications in an attempted vbac delivery of our 4th dd, to wean our current 23 mo. old by the end of my 2nd trimester in Oct. She was definitely a strong night-time nurser - and would nurse during the day whenever she saw that I was available. What we've done to encourage her to wean is that my dh handles the bedtime routine for all of the children every evening when he's not travelling. I have also gradually, s-l-o-w-l-y this summer scaled back the length of her naptime from 3 hours to 1-1/2 to 2 hours. We do the family bed, but with this little one dh & I switched sides of the bed so that, when our little one came toddling in expecting to find mom, she got dad instead. He would scoop her up & rock her back to sleep in the rocking chair outside the bedroom door. She did protest a bit initially, but now sleeps through the night - and often past her 5:30a.m. rise & shine norm  - quite often.
She still nurses to sleep at naptime, but even with this will sometimes nurse for a short while & then fall asleep next to me.
I know the needs of little ones and families are all so different. Wishing you the best of luck!
heather
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Maryan
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| Posted: July 17 2009 at 8:01am | IP Logged
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It really helps to hear all the stories to think of all the options.
And ironcially --- perhaps Phillie knew I was at my wit's end...or he knew that the Almanac had marked it for weaning day -- last night he slept from 8:30 pm - 6:30 am. I got 7 hours of sleep!! A real rarity in the last 7 years. 
He's been nursing like a fiend all morning but even one night of respite has helped. I think going with Dad helping at night would help but Dan's schedule in the fall is better than his eary rising summer schedule, so it may have to wait until the end of August.
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Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Can we talk about weaning?
