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amyable
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| Posted: April 18 2009 at 6:43pm | IP Logged
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This is why I'm losing my mind: my kids don't seem to learn from their own mistakes or listen to me.
A few minutes ago, we were outside at the swingset. The 3yo was told to be careful and not walk near the swinging swings - to go "wide around". I thought she understood. My bad. She just mindlessly wanders around and gets whacked in the head with a swing/sister. She cried but was OK (it hit her but not THAT hard). I explained again what I meant about not standing/walking where the swings are swinging, and showed her how to walk around safely. Of course (or I wouldn't be posting  ) less than 5 minutes later she got hit again. And....wait for it...less than five minutes after that, it happened again, in the face, and I then took her inside. (She is fine, remarkably, and is now having a night time snack  )
Granted, she is almost 4, not 12 or something. But my other kids are all just like this!! No amount of me talking OR them getting hit in the head with a swing seems to get through to them, on all manner of things.
Am I alone in having kids like this? Am I doing something wrong? This type of stuff really gets me down. 
Thanks for your thoughts.
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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KC in TX
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| Posted: April 18 2009 at 6:58pm | IP Logged
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Amy,
My kids are like this. I think it's a kid thing, not something you are doing wrong. Some kids need a stronger message before remembering. I have to constantly remind my kids of things and they seriously don't learn from their mistakes. However, I have learned that it may take 999 reminders, but that 1000th time might do the trick. It's disheartening.
It's even worse for my special needs guy. 
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KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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Willa
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| Posted: April 18 2009 at 7:33pm | IP Logged
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I think it's just a developmental thing. I would probably have done the same as you basically but I am melancholic-phlegmatic rather than melancholic/choleric so I wouldn't have felt quite so bad about it.
My next step, I think, given the situation as it exists, would be to make a conscious ritual of it with the child --- marking off steps with landmarks like a treasure hunt and running her through it several times, then as they say in special needs parlance "fade the prompts" until I knew she had it down. Kids take varying amounts of time. I STILL watch Aidan around swings and he is almost ten and about a 6 year old developmentally, but he needs repetition to really get things down.
I'm not at all saying your little girl is special needs, just that I've found some of the SN method useful for ALL my kids to target their areas of weakness. I actually think it's totally developmentally normal for a 3 year old to be oblivious of the swing trajectory.
Our homeschool group meets at a playground and from what I've observed it's the rare under-four who really gets that swing thing until the "walk around" strategy is just completely sealed in their motor memory through repetition. And then you have to do a refresher course every spring until they are old enough, at age six or seven, to do the reasoning themselves.
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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SeaStar
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| Posted: April 20 2009 at 8:22pm | IP Logged
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Amy-
Did you know that of all the people with peanut allergies the ones most likely to die from it are teenagers?
They know it is serious and can kill them, but they don't *really* understand what this means (the old "I am invincible" syndrome). The area of the brain that understands and can make rational decisions about things like this evidently doesn't fully develop until sometime in the 20's.
You can ban peanut butter from your house (which is why younger kids aren't dying from peanut allergies as often as teenagers who have to make their own choices), but you really aren't going to ban a swing from your yard.
So your kids... completely normal. When she is 25 there is no doubt that she will avoid moving swings.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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amyable
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| Posted: April 21 2009 at 7:17am | IP Logged
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Thanks everyone! I always like assurance that the crazy daily things going on here are at least "normal"
(and thanks for moving this to a more appropriate forum! Not sure why I didn't pick this one in the first place! I guess the decision making part of my brain has yet to fully develop )
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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Anne McD
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| Posted: April 21 2009 at 8:56pm | IP Logged
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If I had a dollar for every time my husband or I said to one of the kids, "don't you remember the last time you (insert crazy kid thing here)??", I'd be in Paris right now.
I have a feeling this is normal, and going to happen for a very. long. time.
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Anne
Wife to Jon
Mommy to Alex 9
James 8
Katie 6
William 3 1/2
Benedict Joseph 1
and baby on the way! 10/14
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Kids not learning from mistakes
