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folklaur
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| Posted: April 18 2009 at 2:46pm | IP Logged
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So, yesterday, we got a wiffle ball set. Now, ds10 has played T-ball and Baseball, and he likes it okay. He can take it or leave it, kind of thing. Anyway, dd6 I don't think has every really picked up a bat before. But - whoa - she was good at it! She was able to hit it, and hit it well.
This is the same child who was really good at gymnastics. We had coaches tell us that she was just really good at it - she was in a class with other girls of the same experience and age, but she just had a natural ability. She was on a higher beam than others, and while my heart was in my throat while she was on there, she just made it look easy.
I think she just might have a natural athletic ability.
And she loves gymnastics. And she wants to still do it. She wasn;t in this last few sessions due to the house in Phx nightmare. But now...we could probably figure out a way to do one class a week....
....but they had already wanted to bump her up, to 2-3 classes a week....
I think that is an awful lot for a 6 year old...
How do you help them to continue to develop their gifts - especially when things like gymnastics is CRAZY expensive and super time consuming? And some of the other girls are just...mean?
We have looked in city run classes - but they don't match her ability with her age (and I really don;t want her in with a bunch of way older girls either.)
When your child has a natural talent - what do you do as a parent to try to help them use their God-given gifts in the best way?
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Mimip
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| Posted: April 18 2009 at 3:02pm | IP Logged
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Catus,
I am really hoping for some ideas on this topic. I have a daughter who is extremely talented at sculpting and drawing and would like some ideas on developing that talent 
BTW Same daughter is great at ballet and the school put her on scholarship when it got to be 2 classes a week and we could not afford it.
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Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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Martha
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| Posted: April 18 2009 at 3:24pm | IP Logged
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if they really want it
I'd swallow pride and see what's available to beggars LOL
seriously, if they truely think she has talent, tell them honestly that her talent exceeds your income and what can they do to help.
my biggest concern with athletics is the HUGE pressure.
i'd be less concerned about the expense than finding someone who simply wants to train her to the best of her ability - even if she couldn't care less about the olympics, kwim?
also, have you asked her if this is something fun that she loves to do or something that is that AND that she wants a career in? That would make a big difference in how I looked at it and how I'd approach the time/$ commitment.
as for art - wow. I feel your pain mimi.
I have a gifted artist and it's outragious how expensive it is for classes and such.
I've just tried to constantly encourage him and provide what paltry materials I can as much as I can. 
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Martha
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stellamaris
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| Posted: April 18 2009 at 6:18pm | IP Logged
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It might console you to know that Giotti, one of the greatest and most influential artists of all time, was a shepherd who according to legend basically learned to draw with rocks in a field. St. John Bosco had no schooling to speak of, developed a prodigious memory, and finally an elderly priest recognized his talent and paid for his education. Great talent will manifest itself, and can be developed at a little later age than 6. I don't think you need fear she will "lose" her talent if it is a true talent. If you can only afford and she can only handle the stress of one lesson a week, just do that. When she is a little older, you can do more. You might consider whether you are willing to commit your family to a "pro-athlete" life. Olympic and professional athletes generally have families who are willing to sacrifice all for the development of one child's talent. What is your goal for her in life?
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Caroline
Wife to  dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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MarilynW
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| Posted: April 18 2009 at 8:14pm | IP Logged
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Laura
All my boys are very athletic - but so far we have figured out that even the travel leagues will damage our family life and peace. So we keep them in house leagues which are time and money affordable. One of my boys in particular is showing incredible baseball talent at 5 (really since he was 3) - but we intend to keep him in house leagues. His godfather who played baseball for a university and minor leagues reassures by us by telling us that when he was a child his parents kept him in the local house leagues and he did just fine.
This is a question we have struggled with a lot. After a lot of prayer we keep coming back to "what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul" It is more important for us right now to form our young boys and develop their faith - and to keep our family life intact - their athletic ability will not disappear.
I will pray for you to come to the right decision.
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Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: April 18 2009 at 8:19pm | IP Logged
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stellamaris wrote:
| It might console you to know that Giotti, one of the greatest and most influential artists of all time, was a shepherd who according to legend basically learned to draw with rocks in a field. St. John Bosco had no schooling to speak of, developed a prodigious memory, and finally an elderly priest recognized his talent and paid for his education. Great talent will manifest itself, and can be developed at a little later age than 6. I don't think you need fear she will "lose" her talent if it is a true talent. |
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And now we have the example of this lady.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
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LisaR
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| Posted: April 18 2009 at 8:59pm | IP Logged
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Martha wrote:
if they really want it
I'd swallow pride and see what's available to beggars LOL
seriously, if they truely think she has talent, tell them honestly that her talent exceeds your income and what can they do to help.
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We pay as we can for our son. fees to enter in tournaments, his gear (which you can find inexpensively by looking around online, etc) are givens,(what we feel responsible for) and his trainer has told us more than once to pay what we can for the actual coaching and training fees.
We manage to pay about 75% of what everyone else does...
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
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LisaR
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| Posted: April 18 2009 at 9:05pm | IP Logged
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PS we also have let our voice be heard re: when votes come up as to where they travel too, etc.
4 hour away/more expensive entry fee vs one hour away, less expensive fees? I'm pretty good at convincing others as well  .
We decided with each kid, we would let their talent take them as far as it worked out, and that when it got to be too much, eith time or financial or stress wise, we'd drop out.
I'd rather do that than assume it would be too much without trying it first, and we have been pleasantly surprised.
that being said, re: gymnastics. Maria has some strange natural flexibility. she can do the splits all ways effortlesly, and tucks her feet behind her head like a contortionist.
She's (I've) been approached twice now from a gymnastic instructor where she goes once a month for a homeschool field trip day.
I'm really reluctant to let her do gymnastics, it just seems so impractical as a life long ability/sport compared to many other sports, kwim?
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
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LisaR
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| Posted: April 18 2009 at 9:08pm | IP Logged
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cactus mouse wrote:
How do you help them to continue to develop their gifts - especially when things like gymnastics is CRAZY expensive and super time consuming? And some of the other girls are just...mean?
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is there more of a "look at me" with a sport like this? I guess that is what I was getting at.
I did dance for years and am still traumatized by the pressure/mean girls/pushy moms (my mom was the opposite, never there!)
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 19 2009 at 11:29pm | IP Logged
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I would look at what it is you want her to develop the talent for? Also, there are things that regardless of talent if you're not the right size and shape, you won't get anywhere. And the size and shape you are at 6 can change drastically by the time you're 13
If she's well coordinated physically, maybe she doesn't need to do gymnastics? maybe there's something else that needs good coordination to do well that would be better for her in the long run?
Maybe something like a martial arts.. There's so many different forms and teachers and goals of those teachers and forms.. and it's something that she would be more likely to be able to use all of her life without ever having to go heavy competition.
If gymnastics is something she really really loves.. then form some good boundaries.. they want her to do 2-3 days a week and you think that's too much for her age regardless of cost.. refuse.. perhaps allow her to advance but only the one day a week you're willing to do it.
I think you can run into "mean" children just about in any group, a strong parent presence would help. And coaches/teachers that don't put up with any nonsense. So I wouldn't let that stop you unless it's so pervasive and you're road blocked from doing anything.. and the coaches/teachers won't.
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sarahb
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| Posted: April 20 2009 at 7:34am | IP Logged
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If my kiddo liked gymnastics and was talented at it, Id do whatever it took to make it available to her. There is nothing immoral or off about gymnastics and of course her talent is clearly God given, so let her enjoy it!
Of course, your family budget and family time should be balanced, too. But within reason, her talent should be fostered!
I think 2 days a week is not unreasonable for a 6 year old but in a family who has other obligations it may just not work!
I've been rather lucky that my kids aren't particularly talented in sports. 
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JennGM
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I think it's been said already, but you and your dh just need to sit back and decide what is the purpose? If she enjoys the gymnastics, let her do the 1 hour a week. If she is that good, she'll excel no matter if it's once a week. It's a good outlet and enjoyable for her.
If you're thinking she might be Olympic material, then you need to investigate the usual time frame for a girl to be successful.
Some of my siblings were interested in gymnastics, and they were told they had natural talent. But there wasn't enough commitment or interest on their part to pursue the intense training. They just wanted to learn more, experience it, have fun.
There is a big fast track and push to total immersion, and even moving across the country to find the coaches. Our family wasn't going to do that as time showed that level wasn't there.
I had a male friend who was good at gymnastics and was very involved in high school and early years of college. When you're good, and committed, it usually means cutting yourself off from the "normal" aspects of life. It was too hard for him, and he dropped out of it.
Not that you wanted all my opinion, but I'd resume her once a week now that your house is sold. If she's phenomenal, God opens windows. He'll show you the way.
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Jennifer G. Miller
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LisaR
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| Posted: April 20 2009 at 8:35am | IP Logged
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JennGM wrote:
Not that you wanted all my opinion, but I'd resume her once a week now that your house is sold. If she's phenomenal, God opens windows. He'll show you the way. |
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this is great advice.
I think sometimes it's easy to fast forward to the future too quickly when trying to discern talents in our children.
Staying in the present moment and doing what we can for our child *today* will help us discern the tomorrow.
I am so grateful that we let our son ease into travel/high level soccer.
We almost did not, because we did not think it was "us", but by taking it one week at a time, things have so far fallen into place in ways we never imagined, and he is thriving....
If you do put her in gymnastics, I'd love to hear an update!!
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
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MarilynW
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| Posted: April 20 2009 at 8:39am | IP Logged
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I also think that when you have more than one child you have to prayerfully consider each child's talents and activities.
We discuss and pray about each child - A LOT. We have a mental checklist for each child when deciding activities - a rough idea of it:
- will this activity make the child a better person - if it will take them away from God, the family, and make them stressed or over-expose them to unsuitable peers at too young an age - then it is usually not done
- family budget - we have to consider everyone's activities - can we do it without causing financial stress or going into debt
- effect on family and home as a whole: will it involve excessive time out of the house, neglect of household routines and rhythms, way too much time spent in the car, neglect of schoolwork, stress on mom and dad and other family members?
Again the age of the child is a big consideration. I strongly believe that if a child really is talented, there are ways to nurture them without letting the activity take over your life and budget.
Children also change interests and abilities as they grow.
If I get a chance later I will post about my daughter (12) - a very talented ballet dancer - we pulled her out of a special Russian ballet program she was selected for (dancing 4 or 5 times a week) - she has only been dancing once a week with a small and is generally very content.
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Marilyn
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: natural talent and how do you afford it??
