4Real Forums: "Rules" for adult children living at home

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Mothering and Family Life
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Topic: "Rules" for adult children living at home

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folklaur
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Posted: March 26 2009 at 6:29pm \| IP Logged

Can you help dh and I brainstorm?

Can you give me what some of your rules and/or expectations would be for your young adult (say 20yo) child living at home.

I also wanted to add that said child is dealing with chronic pain/health issues.

This child will be in college full time, also.

Thanks.

mellyrose
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Posted: March 26 2009 at 7:17pm \| IP Logged

When I was 20yo, staying home, attending college -- I was responsible for keeping my room clean (I shared with my 10 yo sister), my own laundry, doing basic household chores, and responsible for child care of my younger siblings.

While in school, I was not expected to contribute financially.

I had curfews (I don't remember exactly what it was -- but probably 10 on weeknights and 11 on weekends.)

Good Luck to you all as you move through this new season. I'm sure it's tough! It was very hard for me when I had been out of state for college, and then returned home after graduation for a couple years.

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Melanie in AZ
Colin (11/00), Nate (05/02), Lydia (04/07)
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JodieLyn
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Posted: March 26 2009 at 7:32pm \| IP Logged

Pretty much what Melanie said.. as long as I was single and living at home, I didn't have to pay anything, I was part of the family and so helped with chores etc. I had more freedom than when I was in high school as far as less asking permission and more letting people know where I was out of common curtesy. And I think there was still a curfew.

When my dh and I moved in with my folks after college.. he was starting a job near there.. it gave us time when we didn't have to pay rent to set aside money for the whole down payment, first and last month's rent thing.. though we still helped out, paid our own *things* and contributed grocery/utility money.. it was a good move.. my mom had surgery on her hands while I was there and I was really able to help her out. But after her second surgery and some recovery we moved closer to dh's work.

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Jodie, wife to Dave
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guitarnan
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Posted: March 26 2009 at 8:47pm \| IP Logged

My ds is considering living at home during college to save money. If this happens, I plan to have him set up and stick to a study schedule so he doesn't spend all his time playing computer games. He will be expected to help at home (as he does now) and to help my husband fix cars and repair things around the house - even though it won't count for school credit any longer, LOL!

I would also expect him to get summer work, at the very least, to pay for textbooks.

Great topic!

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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.

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