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Jess
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| Posted: March 11 2009 at 11:57am | IP Logged
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I need help with ideas how to night wean my 2 yr old who sleeps with us. I am 13 weeks pg and our 2yr old dd is nursing between 3 and 10 times a night, usually 10 or so times. I am exhausted! I haven't been able to go back to sleep while she is nursing so I am not getting nearly enough sleep. We have decided to night wean her while my dh is still here (he is deploying in April). She has always slept in our bed. Last night we tried getting her to sleep in the crib that we have in our room (that basically serves as a footboard for our bed because she has never slept in it). My theory was that maybe she would sleep better and longer if she wasn't right next to me. But the problem was we couldn't get her to sleep in the crib. We rocked her and rocked her, but every time we tried to lay her down she woke right back up. This went on for hours and I was up nursing her 3 times (I think) and I rocked her for a long time. Finally at 6:30am I put her back in bed with me and she went back to sleep. But between 6:30 and 8:30 she nursed 3 times. She slept for a while after but I was awake and needed to get started on our day. I just don't know what to do. She was nursing less for a while but for the past couple of weeks she has increased her night nursing a lot. I really think she has a hard time sleeping without touching someone because she would sleep in our arms but wake right back up when we layed her down and weren't touching her anymore. She has sensory issues that affect her eating (not nursing though) and she has always slept with some part of her body touching me. She has also always been a night owl and wouldn't go to sleep until we went to bed, so I am trying to get her to go to sleep earlier. Tonight I was going to try laying down with her and telling her this is the last time we will nurse until the sun comes back and see how that works.
Does anyone have any ideas? I am just so tired and I need to get some sleep, but she needs to sleep too.
Thanks!
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God bless,
Jess
+JMJ+
wife to dh('96)
mama to dd(13), dd(11), ds(9), dd(6), and dd (2), and baby girl born Sept 14!
star cottage
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Marie
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| Posted: March 11 2009 at 2:06pm | IP Logged
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I don't have a lot of advice but I'll give you my experiences. I have night-weaned both times I was pregnant. Like you, I could not sleep during/after nursing so it had to lessen or stop. This pregnancy, my daughter was 18 mths at the time she stopped nursing at night. My husband wasn't able to help so it was just me and her. We continued co-sleeping and I just kept repeating that the milk went to sleep and she could have milk when it was morning. I was reasonably consistent but not perfect by any means. It took a while (maybe a month) before she was consistently not nursing at night. It did mean more crying at first which was hard, but she cried while I held her. Honestly, it was worse before it was better, but it did get easier. And now she has weaned - which I didn't expect and wasn't totally ready for...(she turns 2 this weekend and baby is due next weekend). I had tandem-nursed for 16 months before and expectected to do it again. A few resources that have been helpful to me...
the book - adventures in Tandem nursing by Hilary Flower - even if you don't tandem it gives you ideas and support for pregnancy and beyond.
The La Leche League international website has a FAQ part that has some old articles. And Kelly mom is another great breastfeeding resource.
Hoping things get easier for you 
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~Marie
DS 2005, DD 2007, DD 2009 and a new little DS 2011 DS 2014
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mathmama
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| Posted: March 12 2009 at 6:47am | IP Logged
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Going out on a limb here, but is there any chance she has some food allergies/intolerances? My dd#2 woke around 10+ times a night. That was her only symptom. I didn't think it was her allergies, but once I cut her allergens from my diet (of course, she wasn't eating anything she was allergic to) about 3 weeks later she started sleeping much better. For instance, last night she slept for 3hrs, then 2hrs, then 4.5hrs, then another 1.5hrs and up for good. This is about on par with how my first child slept at this age (she was still nursing as well). Does your dd wake or sleep fitfully? I found that before the change in my diet dd was always fidgeting and slept *very* lightly and didn't wake gently. Now she is mostly still in her sleep and noises don't wake her unless she is in that light sleep they go into every hour at this age.
Just a thought. I know not everyone deals with food allergies, but when I hear about frequent night wakings it is what comes to my mind because of my experiences.
Good luck!
Beth
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teachingmyown
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My advice would be to leave her in your bed with your husband and you sleep on the couch for a couple of nights. When she wakes up, he can comfort her back to sleep. The first night this could be hard, but as she realizes that mommy isn't there to nurse her back to sleep, she will probably stop waking at all. Give her a couple of nights to get in the new habit of sleeping. When you do get back in bed, maybe keep a pillow between you and her so that she doesn't sense you there and want to nurse.
We are getting close to this point at night with my almost 15 month old. I am exhausted from nursing all night and I am not even pregnant!
Good luck!
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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KC in TX
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| Posted: March 12 2009 at 6:50pm | IP Logged
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Jess,
If she has sensory issues, that might be what's keeping her from sleeping without the touch. See if a weighted blanket would help. Ask her OT about the sleep issue. She might be able to give you some advice. I'm sorry you're not getting sleep. It must be so hard.
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KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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Jess
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| Posted: March 12 2009 at 7:10pm | IP Logged
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KC, I actually just asked her about that today. She said we could try one and see if it helps. I may try to make one or just use a heavier blanket we have here.
So last night we went cold turkey. I told her 'nonnies went night night' and we have them again when Mr Sun comes up. She fell asleep nursing for the last one for the day and then woke up not too long after and howled when I told her no nursing. She kicked and screamed and cried all while I tried to calm her. She finally fell asleep with her face next to my face. But she woke up very soon after. She woke up 3 times and did the same thing all before midnight. Finally my dh got up to rock her and she freaked out about that, so he layed her next to me and she cried more but finally calmed down. For the rest of the night she woke up several more times but didn't cry as much and finally settled down laying across me or with her face right on me. We nursed again at 7am (the sun wasn't really up, especially since it was raining) but it was close enough. So I told her 'nonnies are awake, hello mr sun! good morning nonnies!' She was happy and nursed back to sleep for a little while. We definately got more sleep than the night before, but not near my goal. So we will do it again tonight and hopefully she'll get used to it and start sleeping for longer periods. If not I'll try going into another room at night.
Beth, I have always wondered if she has food allergies because she eats very little solid food. But she is seeing an OT for sensory issues and she thinks that is why she doesn't eat or sleep well.
Overall I am just really getting worried about her because I am almost in my second trimester and I have never nursed this long or during a pregnancy and I don't know if I will lose my milk or not. If I do lose it I am afraid she will get sick because we can't get her to eat enough to sustain herself. But that is a whole 'nuther post....
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God bless,
Jess
+JMJ+
wife to dh('96)
mama to dd(13), dd(11), ds(9), dd(6), and dd (2), and baby girl born Sept 14!
star cottage
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mathmama
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| Posted: March 12 2009 at 8:12pm | IP Logged
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Jess wrote:
Beth, I have always wondered if she has food allergies because she eats very little solid food. But she is seeing an OT for sensory issues and she thinks that is why she doesn't eat or sleep well. |
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I have no experience with sensory issues, so I don't know how that could be affecting her. I will say that once I cut dd's allergens from my diet her appetite went through the roof. She was never much of an eater and now there are times when she seems like a bottomless pit. Just something to keep in the back of your mind.
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Jess
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| Posted: March 13 2009 at 7:49am | IP Logged
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Beth,
How did you find out what she was allergic to? Did you have an allergy test done or just by elimination?
She did so good last night. It was the best night's sleep I have had in over 2 yrs. She woke up around 3:45 and asked to nurse but I said that nonnies were asleep and we needed to go back to sleep and she rolled over and fell asleep, then a few minutes later she woke up and kind of asked again, but it was like more to herself so I didn't answer and she fell asleep. Then she didn't wake up again until 6:30. We nursed around 6:45 and she fell asleep again. I am not counting on all nights being like this, but boy was it nice to get some good sleep!
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God bless,
Jess
+JMJ+
wife to dh('96)
mama to dd(13), dd(11), ds(9), dd(6), and dd (2), and baby girl born Sept 14!
star cottage
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mathmama
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| Posted: March 13 2009 at 3:21pm | IP Logged
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Jess--it did begin with allergy testing for us, but she had other signs (eczema mainly) that had our ped suspect allergies. I didn't suspect at all because we have no family history. Alas, she does have 7 known food allergies. But I consider us among the lucky ones. Her food allergies are IgE allergies which tend to show up on traditional testing, although not on every test (2 of them were neg via scratch test but pos via blood test, and we know she is definitely allergic to those things). There are IgG allergies, which are more on the level of intolerances, at least that is my understanding. These are much harder to uncover and deal with and it is my understanding they are more likely lifelong. IgE allergies are the ones that cause things like hives and other scary things like anaphylaxis (too tired to find the right spelling  ) whereas IgG allergies often cause more subtle but still debilitating signs. Both can cause sleep disturbances.
Glad to hear you got some sleep. It is hard getting through the early stages of pregnancy without sleep. I decided to cut dd's allergens from my diet to see if her sleep would improve. D-day for the change was on a Wed and 2 days before that I found out I was pg. I went through with the elimination because I figured I can always find something else to eat, but there is no substitute for sleep. She is doing much better and I am very grateful, but boy do I want a hunk of cheese
Good luck!!
Beth
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Jody
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| Posted: March 18 2009 at 11:54pm | IP Logged
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Not sure if this will help...
I noticed with my little ones that if I was busy during the day and didn't nurse them as much then they usually wanted to nurse more at night. If I kept up with the day time nursings, then the night time was much more restful as they didn't wake up nearly as often.
Blessings,
Jody
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Jody,
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: night weaning a co-sleeper
