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SusanJ
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| Posted: March 07 2009 at 5:46pm | IP Logged
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My dd is almost 2.5 and we had a very slow, relaxed potty training season last fall. Mid-January I was ready to declare her totally potty trained for daytime (she wears a diaper overnight still but not for naps). Then, about a week before our baby was born, we started to have some regression. I know this is normal but it's been dragging on now for six weeks and seems to be getting worse. Outside of home she is 99% fine but at home it is another story. We ask her to go at convenient times: before and after naps, before and after outings, before and after meals, etc. She often refuses to try and I'm often nursing a baby so I can't take her by the hand that minute to bring her. She says she doesn't have to go and sometimes only minutes later will pee on the couch, on a bed, on the carpet, or just soak all her clothes.
If this had started after the baby was born I'd say it was just new baby issues. But it started before that. Is this just a normal small regression that is being exacerbated by a new baby? How do we deal with this? The endless laundry and constant wetting of upholstered furniture is hard to deal with and it is frustrating for everyone. Do these things just run their course? I didn't really have to "train" her in the first place. She just ran around in dresses and no underwear all summer and then on her second birthday Grandma took her to the potty and she went and pretty quickly got the hang of things from there.
Ideas?
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: March 07 2009 at 8:13pm | IP Logged
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Sometimes just because they can doesn't mean they're ready. Sometimes it's still just soooo much work it's very hard and tiring for them.
I had one of mine who soooo wanted and could manage it.. but it was a great deal of stress for her.. and she did just that and no new baby happening at the same time.
She started avoiding it and ignoring it after she seemed to have gotten it.. and I recall scolding her a bit and happen to look at her eyes and they were so weary and sad.. and so I stopped and asked her if it was too hard.. and she nodded and maybe even cried a bit.. and so we backed off.. put her back in diapers and several months later she was ready to go back to using the potty full time and no problems at all that time.
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happymama
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| Posted: March 09 2009 at 10:13pm | IP Logged
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I don't have any advice for you, I think each kid is different... but I can say that my 2.5 ds could easily be trained by now, except that I had a rough pregnancy/ new baby to care for, also. Maybe some would say that's not fair to him, but I try to not make a big deal out of it, we'll hit it hard this spring. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you want to put her back in diapers for a while so you can sit back and enjoy your little one, I wouldn't feel bad about it. I know I'm always anxious to get the training over with and not have 2 in diapers, but for me, it's more important to not be stressed about messes!! Blessings to you.
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Kath
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| Posted: March 10 2009 at 11:48am | IP Logged
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I have a similar situation, except that my son is 3.5. He trained very quickly, but four days later started having accidents and refusing to sit on the potty. For him, I think the novelty has worn off and he just doesn't want to take the time. He dislikes it just as much as he disliked having to stop everything to have his diaper changed. I hope someone here will have some good advice! Two friends of mine recently trained their children and are experiencing the same regression. So frustrating!
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Jody
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| Posted: March 19 2009 at 12:29am | IP Logged
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My little guy was 4 and he did not want to do the potty thing either.
Now this may be shocking to some but I was getting desperate so I tried a nifty motivational technique known as bribeing.
Above the toilet I taped to the wall 10 small goodies in a row. At the top of the row I taped a new toy that I knew he particularly wanted. If he went to the potty successfully he got a goody. After 10 succcesses he got the top prize.
Well it worked. He's the only one out of all my kids that I had to resort to that.
But now I have a 3 year old who thought she was ready but was not so she is back in diapers. I think the summer might be a better time for her. Running around without a diaper on has been known to help. The thing is, I have a 1 year old in diapers too..... 
Not sure if any of this helps. I seem to be rambling...
God Bless,
Jody
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: March 19 2009 at 11:48am | IP Logged
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She may also be testing limits with the potty as her battle ground. She's getting close to that "testing" point. I know it's easier said than done, but she needs to learn to obey you.
I know that it's hard when you're sitting down with a newborn. It seems that as soon as you sit down to feed the baby that's when everyone "needs" something. You probably need to get in the habit before you sit down with the baby of walking her to the potty (you know lots of them go once you get them on there) just like you would before you left the house or bedtime. And also make sure that they all have food/drink and entertainment lined up.
The baby may fuss a little bit, and I know newborn crying is designed to tear your brain in two. But it is worth taking the extra time to discipline.
If that's what the problem is....I wish you luck.
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: March 19 2009 at 7:33pm | IP Logged
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A wise pediatrician once told me that this was something over which I had no control. Hmmm... I always waited until the child asked or chose to use the potty/toilet. When he/she was otherwise undressed (changing for bed or for the day, taking a bath), I'd suggest sitting on the potty and trying, but if nothing happened, I'd just move on to dress or bathe. Also lots of comments like, "Excuse me while I use the bathroom. I really like using the toilet because that way I stay clean and dry." (Seriously, I said that  ). At some point the child would decide it was time. Really, I would much rather change diapers on an older toddler/preschooler than have the extra laundry and be concerned about the possibility of messes who-knows-where. Good luck - it will come together sometime soon, I'm sure.
Peace,
Nancy
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KerryK
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| Posted: March 19 2009 at 9:07pm | IP Logged
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I used a similar approach to what Nancy described with my older two (the youngest just turned two, so we'll see what happens there!), and both pretty much did it all on their own at right around 3. So I don't think regression at 2.5 is at all surprising or problematic. While both of my kids could do it at 2.5, neither were really ready to do it "for real" until 3, which was fine with me. It was one struggle I just didn't want to engage in!
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SusanJ
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| Posted: March 19 2009 at 9:17pm | IP Logged
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We decided to get some pull-ups for her and that has really helped. she goes in the potty several times a day and sometimes just goes spontaneously but now all her accidents are contained and I think it has significantly reduced the stress we were both feeling. She now goes quite readily if I ask her to so we're not having any power struggles on this issue. With a big move coming up I should probably hold potty training pretty loosely for the next several months. Thanks for all the advice!
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: potty training
