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Ruth
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| Posted: Feb 13 2009 at 5:12pm | IP Logged
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How do you handle modesty with your teen girls in warm weather, public swimming areas, walks in the woods, etc.?
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Ruth
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D. Marie
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| Posted: Feb 13 2009 at 6:04pm | IP Logged
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Hi Ruth,
My girls wear dresses throughout the year. During the summer, the girls wear bike shorts under their dresses. If we plan on going to a park/playground, I allow my girls to wear long shorts instead of their dresses. For swim wear, we buy the surf shirt and surf shorts. No bathing suits here. I used to have a bathing suit that I wore a long cover-up with, but it is difficult to keep the cover-up down when in the water. So we all switched to the swim shorts. I think a dress can be just as cool as shorts. Blessings...
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Angie Mc
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We have months of warm weather here and a few months of baking hot so my dd and I can share a few tips! Here's what Devin suggests to wear:
Light and breathable fabrics.
Modest skirts, shorts and capris.
Loosely fitted clothing.
Short sleeved T shirts.
Tank top covered with a light blouse.
Light colors.
Honestly, it becomes so sunny and hot here that the last thing my dd wants to do is expose her skin to the sun. Picture billowing layers of cotton worn by desert dwellers! Picture outside laborers wearing baggy denim pants and layers of shirts to include flannel while working in 120 degrees! Nope...hot weather is no excuse to wear little clothing (although our family appears to be minority thinkers here in this regard  .)
Oh...my dd and I don't always agree on this matter in the particular - no shock there. We compromise  .
Love,
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juststartn
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But it is sensible, Angie.
We've moved from NC to OK...and while we're still adjusting to the changes (it does get a bit warmer here during the hottest parts of the summer, and the wind is...well, it *is* Oklahoma, lol)...that's pretty much our standard (what you have written above).
Now, finding the clothes that fit those guidelines...
Rachel
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JodieLyn
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We're a bit different for swim. My kids swim on the swim team and we use the standard one piece competition suits.. they stay both up and down better than the suits I've found elsewhere. And when out of the water we have the girls pull on shorts or a skirt and the boys a tee shirt and often shorts.. the girls mostly pull on a tee shirt as well for the sun protection.
But I think the coolest thing to wear in summer is a cotton dress.. no waistband.. loose.. and if you can get it often something like a seersucker because the puckers keep it from laying flat against your skin.. it lets air circulate..
light colors are cooler but dark colors in lightweight fabrics often don't need slips. 
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teachingmyown
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Well, I don't officially have a teenage girl for a couple more weeks, but we will stand firm with what our limits have been all along:
No shorts shorter than kneelength (bermudas)
No strappy tank tops (we will allow a loose fitting sleeveless shirt on really hot days)
No skirts above the knee
Absolutely no midriff bearing shirts
We do allow our oldest girl to wear a tank suit but she must wear shorts out of the water. I am not thrilled and may try to revisit the rash guard approach again this summer like her younger sisters wear.
It is a struggle when everyone around, even other homeschoolers sometimes, tend to allow things that we won't.
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Bookswithtea
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We follow the rules Molly posted. I also do not allow sleeveless sun dresses on girls for Mass (has anyone else noticed that its getting very hard to find Easter dresses with sleeves???  ) and I do try to avoid them altogether, except the ones that are done very modestly at the neck and under the arm (ie. Lands End). We do the two piece swimsuits that do not ride up (again, LE) at all because it makes bathroom breaks much easier, and we buy the ones with skirts on the bottom. I would allow shorts but so far, no one has asked for them instead of a skirt.
We used to live in So. CA nearer the desert than the beach. It got HOT there. We pretty much followed the same rules except we wore a lot more shorts and a lot less capris. I am so grateful that bermuda shorts are in the stores right now! There have been seasons where I have been desperate to find shorts that weren't ridiculously tiny! 
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Ruth
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| Posted: Feb 14 2009 at 10:39am | IP Logged
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This is such great advice so far. Thank you so much. I value your opinion and hope to get more advice from all of you. Please keep'em coming!
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| Posted: Feb 14 2009 at 11:47am | IP Logged
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While my daughters don't do skirts exclusively, my oldest has been wearing them more and more. In the summer, we usually don't allow shorts, but last season, the bermudas were in all the stores and we bought a few pair and they are really nice - lets 'em bike, hike, and such and remain modest. I find long loose skirts and dresses to be very comfortable. No tanks or spaghetti straps. For swim team, my dd does wear a regular competiton suit. Out of the pool she pulls shorts on over top. For leisurely swim, she wears board shorts and over a high cut tank suit. I am so excited I found this suit for myself this year for just $29.00 - they are sold out now...
Gaucho style bottoms are nice and breezy for warm weather too.
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D. Marie
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Molly said:
"It is a struggle when everyone around, even other homeschoolers sometimes, tend to allow things that we won't."
I understand completely. My oldest girl is only 10, not teen yet, and she is asked constantly as to why she wears dresses, no swimsuits, etc. She has noticed that she is different, and I'm afraid it will become more challenging in a few years. I have to explain that the first Christians were very different from their pagan peers, and proud of it. And of course, there is the beatitudes..."blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." It helps, but it is hard.
The other challenge, like many of you have already said, is finding the appropriate attire. It takes searching, making your own or having someone make it for you, and more money. I find if I have dresses made for the girls in a size larger and longer, they will last for years! So spending $25-$30 on one dress is worth it.
Best of luck to all of you, and may God bless your efforts...
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Angie Mc
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Diane K wrote:
| The other challenge, like many of you have already said, is finding the appropriate attire. It takes searching, making your own or having someone make it for you, and more money. |
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Good point. Fortunately, my dd and I are both happy to shop at second hand stores and since my dd wears an adult size, there are plenty of clothes available to choose from. Oh, she also tailors what she calls "boxey T shirts" to be more fitted which is fun and expands her play clothes.
The trickiest part about this topic with teen girls for me is...on one hand I must guide...on the other hand she must practice making choices for herself. I've noticed over the years that sometimes my dd misses the mark not so much out of intent but out of innocence. She may not *see* that she has outgrown a favorite shirt or she may not *see* that her skirt shrunk.
I just asked her if I could share this story with you and she said "Sure." Our family doesn't wear tank tops. I have a million great reasons for this and believe me they have heard them all . One day Devin asked me if I would please consider letting her choose to wear some tank tops. I'm a bit  at the internal struggle I had with this. Bottom line, we compromised (thickness of strap, other exposure issues) and I finally said yes. She rarely chooses to wear one and often when she does, she puts a blouse over it! Go figure.
Love,
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Modesty in the summer months
