4Real Forums: Losing "habits"

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: Losing "habits"

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mom2mpr
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Posted: Feb 02 2009 at 8:03am \| IP Logged

I work hard for months to establish a habit in my kids. I decide to move on to new things, hoping the old ones are sticking. And they don't. I am so frustrated. Am I expecting too much? Do your kids remember their "training" and allow you to work towards other goals?
Example--morning routines. You know, brush hair and teeth, get dressed, etc. I work with them, every monring on them, for months. I decide we are going to add a morning chore. A short one, maybe empty wastebaskets. Everything else goes out the window!! Especially with the 6 year old! The 11 year old will get dressed but forgets hair and teeth. HELP!!
Anne

PDyer
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Posted: Feb 02 2009 at 9:20am \| IP Logged

I still have check-off charts on my frig for my kids' (7 and 12) morning routines. I don't understand how they can forget to brush their teeth

, but they do. I refer them to the charts nearly every day.

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Patty
Mom of ds (7/96) and dd (9/01) and two angels (8/95 and 6/08)
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Willa
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Posted: Feb 02 2009 at 9:30am \| IP Logged

I do what Patty does. Actually I am thinking that is a good idea..... write down habits as I work on them with the kids. That way I won't forget, which seems to be the biggest problem around here

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Willa
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SuzanneG
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Posted: Feb 08 2009 at 11:26pm \| IP Logged

I think this is normal. Not "good" or "acceptable"

, but certainly normal. I was just reading in Terry Maxwell's book Homeschooling with a meed and quiet spirit that your

Quote:

.....we must keep our expectations lower than those goals. When I expect my child to have reached a high goal, then I am likely to become angry with him if he hasn't. On the other hand, if I expect my child to have not yet reached the goal, then my spirit is at peace with the training and teaching process as we strive to reach those goals.

***So, written lists, so instead of saying " did you brush your hair?" "did you x?" "did you...." It seems less "naggy" if you just keep them on track by saying "are you finished with your morning chores?"

***a reasonable amount of time for accomplishing them.

***natural consequence for not accomplishing in a timely manner. (ie: no breakfast until chores are done.

***praise when they do DO it! Maybe a long-time reward?

Also, what is the hold-up?

They just don't "want to"? Then they need to be motivated (natural consequence thing......and you may need to switch routines and timing to accomplish this)
Do they think it's "too hard?"
Are they excited about something else?
Are they disctracted?

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Suzanne in ID
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mom2mpr
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Posted: Feb 09 2009 at 9:41am \| IP Logged

Oh Suzanne, thank you for the quote from Terry Maxwell. It does make me feel better.
My kids just don't WANT to do anything. As my mom says, we have few privileges around here. No TV. Limited videos. Dessert only on the weekends. They don't eat breakfast, they aren't hungry in the am--not that that is a privilege but it makes the am routine harder for me. There is not much to motivate to move through the day. I am always telling them what to do.
Ds, who is 11, seems to be getting it. We have lessened the out of home activities and he seems to enjoy some of the freedom of not having to go places. Dd might take a little longer. They are both very stubborn. Like dh. He tells a story of his g-pa offering to buy him a bike. Dh told him not to as he wanted a BMX bike. I would have been thankful, even though it wasn't exactly what I wanted. I couldn't believe he said that.
We are going on vacation in a week and I know that is why ds is better. When he is excited about something he is better. Day to day is boring for him.
Anyhow, thanks for the post.
Anne

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