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BrendaPeter Forum All-Star
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Posted: Jan 05 2009 at 7:49pm | IP Logged
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I bought the new Duggar book as a gift for my entire family as we're all big fans and have seen all of their shows. I didn't have such high expectations of the book so I'm pleasantly surprised at how helpful (as a mom) I've found the book to be.
The Duggars have some very simple ideas that I found very inspiring. They use Managers of their Chores which I know some of you really like and it sounds like "just the ticket" in my house as that's where things tend to fall apart.
Although I don't have real little ones, I loved "blanket time" which I have shared with my friends who do still have babies. Basically she trains her little ones to sit on a blanket and play quietly with a toy.
We've started using a Yes Ma'am/Sir Chart which is another of their simple yet very clever ideas. My kids have been tripping over themselves in an effort to be obedient. When has that ever happened?!
It struck me how the virtues and their meaning are part of their vocabulary. Virtue training is part of their everyday routine.
Overall, I was so impressed with their spirit of joy. It's apparent on the show as well as in the book. Positive reinforcement is truly the motivating force. They strive to praise and complement their children as a rule.
__________________ Blessings,
Brenda (mom to 6)
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Cay Gibson Forum All-Star
Joined: July 16 2005 Location: Louisiana
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Posted: Jan 05 2009 at 8:51pm | IP Logged
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BrendaPeter wrote:
Positive reinforcement is truly the motivating force. They strive to praise and complement their children as a rule.
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I noticed this as well and also see it in the Maxwell family of MOTH.
I'm trying to cultivate that within my home. I "think" I do a pretty good job. It's the negative forces outside the home (which enter the home) that drive me .
__________________ Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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D. Marie Forum Rookie
Joined: Dec 04 2008 Location: California
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Posted: Jan 05 2009 at 8:59pm | IP Logged
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I, too, just bought the new Duggar book. There was so much more information in the book than what you see in the documentaries, and you could just feel the love in that family. I have been re-inspired and have been looking into some of their ideas.
God's blessings,
Diane
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Lisbet Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2006 Location: Michigan
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 6:02am | IP Logged
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I ordered my 'babymoon' book the other day, and I was seriously considering this one. Instead I went with Better by the Dozen Plus Two.
I have never seen any of the Duggar shows, but I have kept up on them via news stories and such. Every time we go anywhere as a family, someone asks me if I've heard of them! I am going to be completely honest here for a moment, and maybe someone can help me - there is something that makes me a bit uneasy about this family. I don't know that I can articulate what it is. It's kind of like the feeling I get when I see a TV evangelist shouting from the pulpit on the the Christian station. I know I'm weird, and maybe that's all it is??
All that said, I will imagine that I probably will read this book sometime, probably from the library.
__________________ Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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BrendaPeter Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 28 2005
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 6:19am | IP Logged
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Lisbet wrote:
I am going to be completely honest here for a moment, and maybe someone can help me - there is something that makes me a bit uneasy about this family. I don't know that I can articulate what it is. It's kind of like the feeling I get when I see a TV evangelist shouting from the pulpit on the the Christian station. I know I'm weird, and maybe that's all it is?? |
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I'm guessing that feeling will go away the more you get to know them by either watching them or reading their book.
__________________ Blessings,
Brenda (mom to 6)
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Lisbet Forum All-Star
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 6:35am | IP Logged
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Your probably right. We don't have cable, so I'll have to read the book! :)
__________________ Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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JennGM Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: Virginia
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 10:24am | IP Logged
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I watch them periodically. I think they are a beautiful family. I do keep telling Dave "Too bad they aren't Catholic." There is no evangelizing, Lisa. They are just a witness by their lives.
I do want to buy their book. I think their lives are a stark contrast to the other large family constantly portrayed that also came out with a new book this Christmas.
__________________ Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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mrsgranola Forum Pro
Joined: Feb 17 2005 Location: North Carolina
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 10:25am | IP Logged
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You can probably watch them on YouTube or hulu.com. I've watched some clips of them on YouTube.
HTH!
JoAnna, who is still trying to read the book, little by little---
BTW, my grandmother raised 15 so I don't think it's unrealistic that it can be done... and this was long ago
__________________ Mom to Jacob, Grace, Mary, Lucas, Emma, Carrie and Gianna
Parente Adventures
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JennGM Forum Moderator
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 10:27am | IP Logged
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Oh, I also noted that Michelle was saying that "this might be our last child" because she's 42? Is that right? It is sad to know it's coming to an end.
__________________ Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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Lisbet Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2006 Location: Michigan
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 11:08am | IP Logged
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Jenn,
I didn't think they were evangelizing, it's just the same feeling I get, I don't know exactly what it is? But I may not be familiar enough. I've seen some clips from TLC.com.
You mentioned another large family book that just came out...could you share with me the name of the book?
__________________ Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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JennGM Forum Moderator
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 11:11am | IP Logged
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Lisbet wrote:
You mentioned another large family book that just came out...could you share with me the name of the book?
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I'm not going to recommend it at all. I was talking about a TLC show of a family (Gosselins). I find such a contrast with that family vs. the Duggars. Just MHO.
__________________ Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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Lisbet Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2006 Location: Michigan
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 11:13am | IP Logged
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OH, That's the family with the multiples?? I've never read seen or heard them, but my MIL thinks they're great and is always telling me I should do 'such and such' like they do...
__________________ Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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LisaR Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: N/A
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 11:31am | IP Logged
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Lisbet wrote:
I am going to be completely honest here for a moment, and maybe someone can help me - there is something that makes me a bit uneasy about this family. I don't know that I can articulate what it is. It's kind of like the feeling I get when I see a TV evangelist shouting from the pulpit on the the Christian station. . |
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well, then I am weird with you! I have really big issues with them, and I've only watched the show when we ewre staying in a hotel with cable, or through news stories.
I don't know if it matters if I articulte it or not, but I know I cannot support them financially by buying their book.
(however, curiosity will probably lead me to check it out from the library!)
wouldn't it be cool if a 4Real mom of many wrote a Catholic book?
__________________ Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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JennGM Forum Moderator
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 11:33am | IP Logged
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While I can't use all of their spirituality, I find her gentleness of spirit, efficiency of running a house without being a drill sargeant among other things very inspiring. I do think I could learn a few things from the family. Take what is good, eschew the useless or bad.
__________________ Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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LisaR Forum All-Star
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 11:42am | IP Logged
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JennGM wrote:
While I can't use all of their spirituality, I find her gentleness of spirit, efficiency of running a house without being a drill sargeant among other things very inspiring. I do think I could learn a few things from the family. Take what is good, eschew the useless or bad. |
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yes, I agree. most likely some of my discomfort lies with the fact that they have chosen to "sell" their family to the media.(although a brilliant and shrewd marketing move) a book is one thing, but I've read plenty of studies about the damage to children when their lives are under the camera, even if for brief segments regularly. must be the Soc. major in me!!
and that people are in performance mode.
I know I cringe just as much with what I've seen of J and K plus 8, and I'd most likely have the same views no matter who it was...
__________________ Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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folklaur Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: N/A
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 12:04pm | IP Logged
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LisaR wrote:
Lisbet wrote:
I am going to be completely honest here for a moment, and maybe someone can help me - there is something that makes me a bit uneasy about this family. I don't know that I can articulate what it is. It's kind of like the feeling I get when I see a TV evangelist shouting from the pulpit on the the Christian station. . |
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well, then I am weird with you! I have really big issues with them, and I've only watched the show when we ewre staying in a hotel with cable, or through news stories.
I don't know if it matters if I articulte it or not, but I know I cannot support them financially by buying their book. |
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I am glad others have said something like this. I thought it was just me. I have found that if I say I am uncomforatble with the Duggars, people assume I am anti-large-family, which couldn't be farther from the truth (tho the idea that a bigger family is a holier one bothers me immensely).
But, I also think it smacks of hypocrisy that they are an "anti-TV" family....and they have a "reality show" of all things.
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Lisbet Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2006 Location: Michigan
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 12:13pm | IP Logged
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I was thinking about this a bit more, and I wonder if part of it may be for me that I know families around here with 14, 16, 17, and 21 kids. They are lovely Catholic families (not solely b/c of the size...) living much like the rest of us, plugging away little by little. No 7,000 square foot houses, no TV endorsements, etc... So maybe it is indeed the Catholic part...
__________________ Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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JennGM Forum Moderator
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 12:16pm | IP Logged
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cactus mouse wrote:
I am glad others have said something like this. I thought it was just me. I have found that if I say I am uncomforatble with the Duggars, people assume I am anti-large-family, which couldn't be farther from the truth (tho the idea that a bigger family is a holier one bothers me immensely).
But, I also think it smacks of hypocrisy that they are an "anti-TV" family....and they have a "reality show" of all things. |
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Hmmmm, I guess I see it differently. The Gosselins have a TV reality show. The cameras are in the house all the time. The drama of it all. The Duggars have, except this past year, had one or two episodes per year, with chosen footage, not a reality show. There was no cameras on all the time, but in places and times where they chose to share.
Do I think it's good to be on TV? No, not personally. But there is a series of families with over a dozen kids which featured a large Catholic family recently. They had a priest come over and do their renewal vows. Really cool.
__________________ Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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monique Forum Pro
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 12:16pm | IP Logged
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My MIL got me the book for my birthday. I read it this weekend. I was really disappointed. It really depressed me. It sounded to me like they train their children like you would a dog. Candy for a yes ma'am. Sit like a dog and work up to 30 minutes like you teach a dog to sit and stay. I guess that is my problem with parenting and why my children are so undisciplined and are not a joy to be around. I was also wondering if they spank. It never says that they do but talk a lot about "correction". I'm wondering what that is? Anyway, is this what parenting is about?
On the up side they do seem to be totally committed to God's will. Very prayerful people and joyful. I think I could do a lot better in that department.
I did not get an evangelical feel at all from the book. It sounded like they home church. I'm not sure what that is but the book did not seem to push any sort of religion. Several times they say, "This is what works for our family."
__________________ Monique
mom to 5
Raising Saints
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LLR4 Forum Pro
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Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 12:27pm | IP Logged
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I have pondered myself, why the Duggars would choose to do these shows, or write a book. The TV show especially just seems such a big step out of their simple life they seem to live. The book very much surprised me as well, in just wondering why they would feel the need to do that?
All I have been able to 'guess' at in terms of reasoning for both the show, and the book, is the monetary support both the show and the must bring them. I can only imagine the cost of living for that family. Also, I wonder if they see them (the show & book) as an opportunity to spread the Word of God, or, hope they may inspire others to live much like they do (if they feel it is how everyone should live?) by their example.
I have heard many say (aside from those here)they feel like something is weird with that family. I can relate to their way of life and why they live as they do on many levels, but I'm not sure too if something strikes me as 'off' with them. Who am I to judge anyway, I think to myself. But I think I can honestly say I have marveled and wondered if Michelle is really, truly, ALWAYS 'that' calm, peaceful, soft-spoken and content ALL of the time. Everyone has a bad day or gets in a mood SOMEtimes.
__________________ ~ Laura
Blessed: Mama to dd{A}13 y.o., and 7 y.o. triplets ds{J}, dd{O}, ds{S} and wife to Michael
Our House of Joyful Noise
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