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dawn2006
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| Posted: Dec 10 2008 at 1:43am | IP Logged
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What helps you handle your frazzled emotions when everyone needs something at the same time and you know that you can't help them all with the tape here and juice there and band-aid over there because by the time you get done with all that the baby will be REALLY screaming?!?!
Or the constant mom-mom-mom while someone waits for me to help them??
I want to set a good example of dealing with frustration and being overwhelmed. I worry, though, that they don't see the million times a day I DO succeed at that but instead only take away the 20 times a day I don't succeed and then feel like they're disappointing me or I'm unhappy with them.
TIA.
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Dawn Farias | wife to Ariel | mom to Gabriel 9, Daniel 7, Elizabeth 5, and Michael 3 | blogger at Be Absorbed | native Texan but currently living near Seattle
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DominaCaeli
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| Posted: Dec 10 2008 at 10:49am | IP Logged
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Listening intently here.  
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Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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Waverley
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| Posted: Dec 10 2008 at 1:24pm | IP Logged
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When this happens at my house, I just stop and kneel. Then I talk to everyone as a group, in a very quiet voice, saying something to get their attention on a common thing. For example, I will whisper "Do you hear that, was that a bird?" or "Wow, it is very busy right now, why don't we take a deep breath and say a Hail Mary."
It took longer to train myself than to train the children  but it has really worked. Whispering brings the energy level down instead of raising my voice which adds to the chaos. Also, diverting their attention almost always reminds them that what they need is not really an emergency. Getting down on my knees reminds them of God's presence and by getting down on their level it shows them we are in it together (as opposed to my voice from above). Finally, it helps the children learn self-calming techniques. The other day my 7 year old dd was getting frustrated while trying to do something and I heard her from the next room saying to herself "Ok, take a deep breath and say a Hail Mary" followed by a lovely Hail Mary.
Maybe it work for you too. Good luck.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Dec 10 2008 at 1:29pm | IP Logged
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Waverly, that is such a lovely idea.
I haven't had much luck with the whisper thing myself.. probably because not all of the chaos is directed at me so not everyone is really paying any attention to my whispering.
So sometimes I have to bellow "STOP!!" first .. and get everyone focused on me and then I can reduce volume etc.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: Dec 10 2008 at 3:40pm | IP Logged
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Waverley wrote:
| When this happens at my house, I just stop and kneel. Then I talk to everyone as a group, in a very quiet voice, saying something to get their attention on a common thing. For example, I will whisper "Do you hear that, was that a bird?" or "Wow, it is very busy right now, why don't we take a deep breath and say a Hail Mary." |
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Wow.  I am going to have to try this, if I can remember, above the din... 
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mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: Dec 11 2008 at 9:29am | IP Logged
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Waverly,
I think my doing that would probably shock the kids into silence since I usually yell "STOP! Everyone Please be QUIET!" which is just adding to the noise and confusion of these sorts of moments. So, doing what you suggested not only diffuses the noise, but it will diffuse the tension within me at the moment and the added benefit is that we will all receive grace due to the prayer. So, a very lovely idea. I know that my BIL's mom used to stop and say an Our Father or a Hail Mary when he was growing up when the kids were misbehaving. I thought it was sort of a funny thing to do, picturing it in my head, but it really does make sense. Thanks for a great tip! I will try it and see what happens. I have sometimes used the, "Did you hear that bird talking???? " idea for my twins before since we usually have a lot of loudly chirping birds in our yard. This usually quiets them for a few moments, but I am thinking the prayer might help with the older boys and their frequent bickering. 
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Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: The constant constantness...
