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doris
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| Posted: Nov 17 2008 at 4:24pm | IP Logged
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I weaned my oldest three children at around 14 months old, but this time around I'm leaning towards continuing to breastfeed my baby for quite a while longer. I find my approach to mothering different this time around, and also I find extended nursing fairly normal now (hanging round with home educators as I do!).
Dh hasn't quite had this change of heart, though, and the other day he said that he found it rather weird to see people nursing toddlers, and hinted that he wouldn't want me to do that with our baby.
Has anyone else had a similar change of heart, and if so, how did your husbands feel? I don't want to do anything against my dh's wishes, of course, but OTOH I think his views might change over time.
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Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Nov 17 2008 at 4:58pm | IP Logged
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Hi Elizabeth. I had a change of heart that you describe and my dh came along for the ride. Having worked with many breastfeeding moms over the years, I've seen many dh's have a change of heart too, once they've seen *their* child's needs met through extended breastfeeding. When an 18 month old has a temper tantrum that is quickly resolved by being nursed, often dad is appreciative. Also, some dads appreciate receiving information about the benefits of extended nursing from a rational perspective (compared with moms who often talk about emotional reasons for nursing beyond babyhood.) This link from kellymom.com might help. One more thing, extended nursing doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing. Different scenarios can be worked out to meet the needs of little one, mom, and dad. I bet that many moms here could help brainstorm ideas. For example, perhaps your dh is uncomfortable with you nursing an older child in public - that can be dealt with.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Nov 17 2008 at 5:02pm | IP Logged
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and then it might be a non-issue and you get a child that chooses to wean themselves early 
But yes, it's different nursing a toddler than an infant, and I think sometimes what people do when thinking about it is picture a toddler nursing when and where an infant nurses.
But toddlers are still getting meals and very often it's before or after naps or bedtime that hold on the longest, and maybe if they get hurt. So often it's not in public because of the times that are the last to go.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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organiclilac
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| Posted: Nov 17 2008 at 5:40pm | IP Logged
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I think it's very different when it's your child than when it is someone else's. I remember seeing children nursing and thinking they looked so old to still be nursing... and then realizing that they were around the same age as my still-nursing son! I also never would have planned to nurse ds as long as I did, but we just sort of kept on going... and going... and going! and eventually he did wean himself, as all children will eventually do if left to their own devices.
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Tracy, wife to Shawn, mama to Samuel (4/01) and Joseph (11/11), and Thomas (2/15)
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Jen L.
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| Posted: Nov 20 2008 at 9:43pm | IP Logged
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If he's not swayed by the words and articles mentioned above, maybe you can compromise and only nurse the older toddler at home?
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Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Changing opinions of extended nursing
