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domchurch3
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| Posted: Nov 12 2008 at 6:14pm | IP Logged
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Hello,
I'll try to try to make the situation as brief as possible. My husband and I were going to deliver our son at the same birthing center where our daughter was born. I flunked the three hour glucose test so I can no longer deliver there. Our options now are to deliver with a hospital midwife or a homebirth. I just had the interview with the homebirth midwife and she said that she does not think diabetes is an issue with me. She said the numbers I gave her from pricking my fingers 4 times a day this past week tell her that I don't have a problem. She said that sometimes a woman who does not take in alot of carbs and sugars will flunk the test because their body becomes overloaded and she said that I should have eaten high carb meals for at least 3 days prior to the test to prepare my body for the onslaught of glucose. She seems extremely knowledgeable and said that she transfers about 15% of her clients to the hospital because she refuses to take any chances when she spots a complication. My main concern is the complications that might arise after the birth, like hemmoraging or something. She said she's had a couple of women do that and then told what she did to stop it.
I go in to see the hospital midwife on the 24th of November. I personally don't want to deliver in a hospital if I don't have to. I'm not one to say that I have to deliver naturally or bust, I want what's best for my child, but the hospitals have so many policies in place that make delivering naturally more difficult, even with a midwife.
So many of my friends are appalled at the idea of me considering a home birth after flunking the glucose test. Everyone seems to know somebody who knows somebody whose baby or the mother died during a home birth. I keep thinking, Is this God's way of telling me to deliver in a hospital, to put fear in my heart. But at the same time I have all these fears of delivering in a hospital and I don't think I should base our decision either way on fears. I read a past post that said to let God lead you in the right direction, but how do you discern? I'm so confused right now.
Has anybody been in a similar situation. Has anybody had a lovely homebirth experience, even after everybody told you you were nuts for wanting one?
Anyways, I'm 31 weeks so we kind of need to decide pretty soon.
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Daniel's wife and mother to two children on earth, Bernadette (6 yrs old) and another child due in Jan 2009.
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LLMom
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| Posted: Nov 12 2008 at 6:25pm | IP Logged
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was the three hour test one of those sweet drinks? My midwife always did a special diet and then a test. She said it was much more accurate than doing a test with a highly sweetened drink on an empty stomach. Maybe you could have that type of test done before deciding?
I have had 5 home births and they were lovely. But I always knew that was what I was called to do. (after finding out the hard way with the first) 
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Lisa
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wifemommy
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| Posted: Nov 12 2008 at 7:14pm | IP Logged
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I have delivered 7 children so far with a midwife in the hospital and dh and I have both found all 7 very different births to go really well with the midwife. I have followed this group to 3 different hospitals and have actually had 7 different midwives at delivery. The last midwife was so good and calming that dh said if she would deliver at home he would like it  Annie
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Nov 13 2008 at 5:16am | IP Logged
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Yes, I've had many (8!) lovely homebirths even with everyone sharing their horror stories and telling me I'm crazy. My mother badgers me each and every time. Here is a thread I posted while expecting my last baby. I went on to have the most beautiful, peaceful, and healthy birth I could imagine. We are planning our 9th homebirth in about 12 weeks with no hesitations.
I have kind of come to this conclusion - no matter what, someone is going to scare you. If you choose a hospital birth, you will hear those awful stories bad outcomes in the hospital - and vice versa. You have to very prayerfully decide with your husband and your midwife what you are comfortable with.
I will offer my own prayers up for your discernment also.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
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happymama
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As far as "discerning God's will" for your birth, I'd look most directly at your husband's inclinations, rather than any other moms. :)
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domchurch3
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| Posted: Nov 13 2008 at 1:02pm | IP Logged
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happymama wrote:
| As far as "discerning God's will" for your birth, I'd look most directly at your husband's inclinations, rather than any other moms. :) |
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You know, that's a point that came to me last night as he does not have the fear that sometimes grips my heart, especially because he does not hear so many of the downsides of either choice. Friends and family seem to direct their comments to me. As soon as he learned the possibility of not birthing where we wanted, he suggested looking into a homebirth. I waved it off at the time. I think as far as discerning goes what we need to do is take it up in prayer both together and individually. Then when a pro or con of either choice enters one of our heads we should discuss it and see where it leads us. Of course, it doesn't help that he is unable to sit in during interviews because then he is getting the knowledge from me that may have some of my emotions tied to it. It is helpful for him to read about the experiences of other women on this board and he's reading the answers as well as me.
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Daniel's wife and mother to two children on earth, Bernadette (6 yrs old) and another child due in Jan 2009.
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nissag
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happymama wrote:
| As far as "discerning God's will" for your birth, I'd look most directly at your husband's inclinations, rather than any other moms. :) |
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This is really wise advice. I don't do well in a hospital setting, and my husband also dislikes that environment. We're planning our 4th homebirth - the first 3 were hospital births.
While my preference is always homebirth, I would not hesitate to do a hospital birth if there was any reason to suspect that I should be there - including my husband's comfort level.
I've had the same midwives for these last three. My first homebirth was with a different MW team.
Blessings,
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Dawnie
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My middle two children were born at home, and both births were lovely and uncomplicated. My 4th baby was born in a hospital for financal reasons. At the time, dh's insurance covered maternity care in a hospital 100%, but we would have had to pay for a homebirth midwife out of our own pockets. Although dh said he would find a way to pay for a midwife if that's what I really wanted to do, being in debt drives me crazy, and I knew that we would have to go into debt to come up with the $1500 to pay a midwife. So, I had a hospital birth.
You know what? It was fine! The lights were low for the delivery, dh and I were left alone for most of my labor, and I could walk the halls, sit in a recliner, sit on a birth ball, or use the jacuzzi bathtub. I delivered Clara in a side-lying position and no one gave me any static about it. I chose a doctor who was very supportive of natural childbirth and my nurse was very respectful of our wishes to avoid interventions. I had been really nervous about returning to the hospital after 2 homebirths, but everything turned out fine. Once I was in hard labor, I don't think I cared where I was anyway. Once Clara was born, the nurse asked my permission before she did anything. I held her and nursed her until I was ready to let the nurse give her a bath. Also, my doctor signed an order for me to be released early, so we didn't have to stay the normal 24 hours.
I know that not all hospitals in the U.S. are like this...I'm just saying that birthing in the hospital may not be as bad as you've been led to believe. A lot of the natural childbirth literature was written in the 80's and early 90's. Things have changed in many places for the better.
Just my perspective... 
Dawn
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domchurch3
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| Posted: Nov 13 2008 at 10:30pm | IP Logged
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Dawn,
Sounds like you had a beautiful birth experience in a great hospital. I would love to see that in the hospitals around here but the 2 hospitals I live near won't even allow for a doula and I know that the policies are to have the woman hooked up and in bed as soon as they have signed in. Now, the hospital 30 minutes away has a hospital midwife and we will be going to see her on the 24th. My doula talked about her experience in getting to use the birth ball there so I'm hoping it's more like what you had.
I think what happened is that I listened to well-meaning friends who told me that I should take flunking the glucose test as a sign that I should automatically be in the hospital in case of complications. But my husband and I talked about it and there were "signs" leading us to look into a home birth well before that test. My husband had already mentioned it as an option and my neonatologist (sp?) who I was seeing due to my history of early miscarriages recommended it as an option for us as he didn't consider us high risk. My first birth was at a birthing center that had the same amount of equipment that the home midwife will be bringing, so in a way, I've already experienced something very close to a home birth and I loved it.
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Daniel's wife and mother to two children on earth, Bernadette (6 yrs old) and another child due in Jan 2009.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Debating Hospital or Homebirth for Son
