4Real Forums: explaining divorce?

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: explaining divorce?

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mellyrose
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Joined: May 12 2006
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Posted: Sept 23 2008 at 7:07pm \| IP Logged

My brother and his wife are planning to divorce. They've been married about 2 1/2 years, and my kids have met and spent time with her a half dozen or so times. (They live in WI, we live in AZ) She was always sweet with them, and they like her a lot.

When I told the boys today about the divorce, I explained that it meant they would no longer be married and we likely wouldn't see her again. Nate responded with "SO, she's going to be torn away from our family?" It was so sad :(

I'm trying to balance sharing our beliefs and their uncle's poor decisions without overwhelming them . . . you know?

Any words of wisdom to share?

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Melanie in AZ
Colin (11/00), Nate (05/02), Lydia (04/07)
My Little Patch of Sunshine
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guitarnan
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Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
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Posts: 10883

Posted: Sept 23 2008 at 8:00pm \| IP Logged

I can completely relate. When explaining my S-I-L's divorce to my children, I tried to be as general as possible about the reasons behind it all, and I also answered any specific questions. They understand that their ex-uncle will always be part of their cousins' lives (he's their father, after all) but that they would not be seeing him at family events as far as I know. They wanted to know if they should still call him "uncle" (I said no, even though when my own aunt divorced I still called her ex-husband Uncle Jim - they were married for 25 years, and he's still part of our extended family).

I agree, it's awkward and uncomfortable. I think children need us to acknowledge these feelings and to hear that it's okay to love and miss an ex-aunt.

{{Hugs}} from someone who really gets how you're feeling right now...

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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.

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