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Michaela
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| Posted: Sept 22 2008 at 12:45pm | IP Logged
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For two or three years, my oldest son (12yo)has asked to be an altar server. The first year, he couldn't because he was still going through classes to receive Holy Communion. The 2nd and 3rd year, we couldn't attend the training class held only once-a-year due to our schedule.
Well...this year, we can finally make it, but ds has done an about face. He told me he doesn't feel ready for such a huge responsibility. 
I'm not sure what to do now. This is something he has always asked for, but basically he is afraid of standing in front of everyone and doing something wrong. I explained that everyone SHOULD have their attention on the Mass, not him.
I asked him to pray, asking Our Lord to help him in this decision, but he is firm....he's not ready for such a "huge responsibility" and added he'd like to serve our parish, but in another way.
Yes, I'm momma, and know my son, but would you gently discuss it a little more or just let it go?
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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Mary Chris
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I would just let it go. My dd went through the (very brief) training at our parish and then decided she did not want to serve. I have asked her once or twice if she wanted to try, but she does not. It is a hard age to be up in front of a large group, even if they are not suppose to be looking at you.
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Blessings, Mary Chris Beardsley
mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92
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Mary Chris
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| Posted: Sept 22 2008 at 1:10pm | IP Logged
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Forgot to add, he can always change his mind when he is older.
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Blessings, Mary Chris Beardsley
mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92
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MaryM
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I would try just approach it as an opportunity to get the training since it is only a once a year chance. Encourage him to do that so that he would have a better understanding of what it would be like and might ease some of his concerns. And promote it as a time of prayer and discernment as well. Even if he takes the training he does not have to end up serving, but at least if he takes the time to train and discern he would be open to seeing if this is what God would like him to do. He could then decide if he wants to do it or not. Do you think he would respond positively to that approach?
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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Mary Chris
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| Posted: Sept 22 2008 at 1:15pm | IP Logged
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I like Mary's answer better.
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Blessings, Mary Chris Beardsley
mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92
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Bridget
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You can tell him that the first fruits of the Mass (graces) go to the altar boys. You can assure him that he can't make any mistakes that haven't been made before up there. But I agree with Mary Chris, at his age I wouldn't push him if he doesn't want to do it.
My oldest son does serve, but he prefers ushering to serving. Maybe there is another way your son can serve the parish.
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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guitarnan
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I'd let it go. My son has never wanted to serve - and my daughter just started (to my amazement, she is the picture of reverence on the altar, what a blessing!). We've tried to emphasize to both children that we all owe service to our beloved Church, and they have worked to find ways to help that suit their personalities.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Rachel May
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I'm not sure what I would do in your situation. However, before encouraging him if you choose to that, I would think about how your priest will deal with him if he were to make a mistake. As Bridget says, there aren't any new mistakes, but we've found some priests are more patient than others. And one really, really nice priest here did lose his temper once (not with my boys). Just something to consider.
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Advice -- Altar boy --cold feet
