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insegnante
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| Posted: June 09 2008 at 2:52pm | IP Logged
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We have finally moved our sons into their new shared bedroom. I wasn't comfortable with our previously co-sleeping, delayed 3 3/4-year-old playing alone with the 6-year-old in his tiny old bedroom, just seemed like more opportunity to get hurt with less to do in that space. And though I would sometimes (probably a couple of times a month) "offer" that the 6-year-old play with his little Legos by himself in there, I didn't want to insist that he spend much time playing alone just to reduce the noise and activity level out here.
So now I'm wondering how much time do your kids of that age usually spend playing "on their own," in another space where you're usually not? Family room, bedrooms, etc. I'm 29 1/2 weeks pregnant and seriously prone to irritation. They are noisy and active and the 6-year-old talks a lot, asks lots of questions, and wants acknowledgment for most of what he says, which is not always in my view the most meaningful stuff to be occupying our brains with. I'm feeling very relieved that they're enjoying themselves playing down there. I'm just wondering how much time it is reasonable to "encourage" if not insist that they play there, not out in the main living area.
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Theresa
mommy to three boys, 3/02, 8/04, and 9/10, and a girl, 8/08
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momtimesfour
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| Posted: June 09 2008 at 3:14pm | IP Logged
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Honestly at the ages your kids are, movement is a big deal. They NEED to get that energy out. In my experience, I've found that my kids get very annoying and noisy the more cooped up they are. This is unfortunate, as we live in Arizona and won't be seeing any temperatures under 100 until after September.  Makes for one hot, cranky mama. I suck it up and go outside anyway, but I'm with you - inside would be much better (endocrine weirdness here, too). I try to have the kids go play outside early and then again after dinner.
If you just can't handle the heat outside, perhaps getting one of those little mini-trampolines (the kind for indoor exercise) would help! You could have a jumprope, a mini tramp, and maybe some little riding toys in a cleared out space.
As to banishing them to their rooms... I don't know what a reasonable time is. My kids play together a lot. We have a computer in the front room for educational games. They also play legos and bionicles in the loft upstairs. They do play in their rooms, too. They just seem to gravitate to certain areas depending on their energy levels and mood. Maybe you could split their room time so that you have a morning time and an afternoon time?
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~Lucy,
wife for 15 years,
mom to four blessings (ds13, ds7, ds3, dd1)
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insegnante
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| Posted: June 09 2008 at 4:43pm | IP Logged
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Oh, I'm sure they'll get outdoor time regularly this summer, but less since it will probably often be just my husband taking them outside after dinner. I am just not in good shape anymore for much of that kind of thing when it's in the upper 80s and the 90s and/or quite humid. I feel uncomfortably hot a lot with the air conditioning set at 73. We were just spending hours after dinner outside and sometimes before dinner, all of us. We're not early birds but sometimes we get onto a bit earlier a schedule and if we can manage it that might be helpful for additional outdoor time that includes me.
Their new room is pretty spacious. Our living area is not. It was nice when we could be outside with them in our fenced backyard but not all crowded in together, and they had more room to move around.
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Theresa
mommy to three boys, 3/02, 8/04, and 9/10, and a girl, 8/08
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MrsM
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| Posted: June 09 2008 at 6:14pm | IP Logged
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Since my first was born, 11 years ago (!!!), we have a quiet/nap time for two hours in the afternoon. We work it around the baby's nap, but it's usually 1-3pm, or 2-4pm. For those who still nap, it's nap time. For those who no longer nap, it's quiet time. Quiet time means playing quietly, alone in a room (bedroom, school room, living room). It begins with 10 minutes of personal prayer. Then comes reading or other quiet activities. No electronics, no noisy toys, no playing with siblings.
It's definitely not perfect(kids aren't always quiet, sometimes it seems like they are constantly coming out of their areas for silly things, etc.), but with five homeschooled children I think this meets a need for them and for me. And I won't deny that it's one of MY favorite times of the day! 
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Mary K
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| Posted: June 10 2008 at 5:40am | IP Logged
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Hi,
Some active games could be played indoors. Twister could be adjusted to hop to blue, march around the board and stop at red, etc. Cranium makes a game called Hullabaloo that has the kids moving to different pads throughout the room, it comes with prerecorded speaker that tells the kids what to do. My little ones really enjoy it.
You could try building up alone time in their room by doing it in 10 minute increments.
God bless,
Mary-NY
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Stephanie_Q
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| Posted: June 10 2008 at 9:05am | IP Logged
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Since your yard is fenced, could you let them run outside by themselves while you keep an eye out from inside? My almost 6, 5 and 3yo kids spend a lot of time playing on their own...perhaps they have too much unstructured time.
While re-siding the house, we're putting in a bigger kitchen window with a more unobstructed view of our "backyard" so the kids can play while I'm cleaning up.
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Stephanie dh 6.01
dd 6.02, dd 8.03, ds 3.05, ds 12.06 at Catholic school.
dd 12.09 at home.
Baby boy due 10.13
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: June 10 2008 at 12:48pm | IP Logged
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One of the greatest indoor toys we ever had was a Jump-o-lene. It does take up some space, but when all of my kids were little and couldn't go out without me, they played on this for hours. It gives them an outlet for energy. It still might be noisy, but it won't be directed at you. 
I think it is fine to declare quiet playtime for a while each day. Make it part of the routine and your boys won't think you are just trying to get rid of them. 
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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momtimesfour
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| Posted: June 10 2008 at 1:00pm | IP Logged
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I've been thinking some more about this and wanted to suggest that having a quiet time each day can be a very good thing for us to teach our children. Not only do we ALL need rest and time to recharge, but our children NEED to SEE us, the primary caregivers, taking a break. They need to see that we take the time to read a little scripture, read a loved book, catch an extra 20 winks, or just curl up with a cold glass of lemonade and rest. Our daughters need to see that the roles of wife and mother are not best filled by always putting ourselves last to the point that we get sick and rundown - that taking a few minutes a day IS part of having the energy to do all that we do for everyone else. Our sons need to see the same so that it comes naturally to them to protect their wives and insist that they take time to recharge. In short, quiet time is a time to train by example.
That in mind, guess who will be making a bigger effort on this over the summer months? 
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~Lucy,
wife for 15 years,
mom to four blessings (ds13, ds7, ds3, dd1)
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insegnante
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| Posted: June 10 2008 at 1:44pm | IP Logged
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At this point, it's not even "quiet time" I was thinking of. Just "they're in there, safely occupied, distracted from unnecessary things they might want from us if they were out here, not listening to our conversations or interrupting anything else I might be doing, and there's less stuff for them to bump into." The noise they make down the hall in their brand new bedroom playspace seems to be louder than the noise they made out here, compensating for the distance! Gets better when the door is closed though. Sometimes I put the baby gate up to discourage the play from spilling out into here but generally I'm just happy if that's where they want to be and they pop out here once in a while. I was thinking ahead to when the novelty wears off when I might have to actively direct them there if I want more often to have ability to concentrate on something else. We could encourage quiet time for the 3-year-old by our and his older brother's example, but I don't think he understands expectations of that sort as well as a typical child his age.
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Theresa
mommy to three boys, 3/02, 8/04, and 9/10, and a girl, 8/08
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: time you spend w/your little kids?
