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Martha
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| Posted: Sept 30 2005 at 1:21pm | IP Logged
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My lower back is just killing me.. slowly killing me. What do you ladies do for back pain when prego? It's hot enough already, so the heating pad makes the tummy upset.
My morale is sooo low right now. I'll be happy with another and all that, just wish I didn't have to be pregnant or go into labor to get him/her. Life seems to turn into one big trash can for the first 4 months and the last 3 months are spent worrying about the labor. Yes, I know. 7 dc and I'm scared of labor. I feel like an idiot saying that. But the drugs make me hysterical, the epidurals don't work, and the dr. is standing over me trying to make sure I don't end up in c-sec because I had 1 c-sec 5 dc ago and now hospital policy is no more v-bacs even though I've had 4 just fine. So she'll want to induce and won't believe me when I tell her that pitocin doesn't work on me. (Every single time it has stopped all labor!) The back pain is horrific and then the labor is VERY fast. And I know many think that's great, but it's not. There is no transition phases and the staff NEVER listen to you, so the baby risks hitting the floor (daddy caught the last one!) because they don't believe you'll go from 0 to 10 in less than 5 minutes.
Does any other moms of many find it harder to get enthusiastic about baby like this? I feel like a horrible mother.  Don't get me wrong, I know I'll love this little one, I just feel like a coward. 
Okay, I'm done. *sigh* Thank you for letting me type here.
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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ladybugs
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[QUOTE=Martha] I just feel like a coward.
QUOTE]
Martha,
I can really appreciate the above sentiment. I get violently ill when pregnant and after Joseph was born I had HORRIFIC post-partum depression. Then my dh, was off of work for most of 2003 and now most of 2005.
The only thing I can offer you is the idea that you are also in spiritual warfare because you are bringing another soul into the world.
We'll keep you in our prayers. Right now, I'm doing a novena to JP II. I'll add you to it.
While the idea that "this too shall pass" might not be a comfort...it is a reality.
Hugs,
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Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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esperanza
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Martha wrote:
My morale is sooo low right now. I'll be happy with another and all that, just wish I didn't have to be pregnant or go into labor to get him/her. Life seems to turn into one big trash can for the first 4 months and the last 3 months are spent worrying about the labor. Yes, I know. 7 dc and I'm scared of labor.
Does any other moms of many find it harder to get enthusiastic about baby like this? I feel like a horrible mother. Don't get me wrong, I know I'll love this little one, I just feel like a coward.
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Hi Martha 
I have been a coward for the last 4 of my 8 dc's births. I used to want to hear other moms of many say they were scared...didn't happen too often. I remember reading on another list about candida issues and anxiety? Your particular situation is quite frustrating. I have long labors that stop. I had to stand during transition and between pushes for 2 of my 3 homebirths or my contractions would stop. Different birthing stories ...well each is unique and maybe your next will be much better. I have a dear friend and her babies 2-6 we all born very prematurely and she would spend so much time travelling back and forth to the hospital for weeks after their birth...all the while having other dc at home. Well, she was pregnant with baby 7 and had to drive further this time due to military arrangements changing and couldn't have her previous pro life dr. ...but her little dd was born full term!!!! Lots of prayers 
I was glad to have a c-sec ...sounds crazy...but for me I wanted the labor and birth part over with fast...(something to do with feeling so violated)
My dh has been a good sport during military hospital birth -to homebirths -back to the hospital to try an epidural(shoulder distocias)- then this "don't interfere with my body" mom mentality to "sure a c-section sounds great!" 
I'll pray that you find the peace that Christ wants you to have....that you will have a peaceful labor and delivery..you are not alone.
I found that Arnica gel or MSM cream has been very helpful for back pain. Hope you feel better soon!
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In His Peace,
Tammy Gonzalez in VA
dh-Johnny
mom to Tara-'85, Noelle-'88, Jeremy-'91, Elizabeth-'93, Emma-'96, Dominic-'99, Gabriel-'01, Elijah-03
and Jacinta-06
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momwise
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Martha wrote:
| My lower back is just killing me.. slowly killing me....<snip>...the drugs make me hysterical, the epidurals don't work, and the dr. is standing over me trying to make sure I don't end up in c-sec because I had 1 c-sec 5 dc ago and now hospital policy is no more v-bacs even though I've had 4 just fine. |
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Martha,
I have used a very effective belly binder for my last 2 pregnancies. It was not only a strap that supported my abdomen but also a very wide strap for my back and another strap that went over the top of my stomach. I know it sounds cumbersome and it would be a pain to use if you're going to be in hot weather but I had to have it to walk anywhere. I wish I still had it; I'd send it to you but I borrowed it from my midwives.
Much of the fear of and during labor comes from not feeling in control. Is there any way you could change your dr. or hospital or at least get a doula? Or if your dr. helped you might be able to state your case to the hospital and have them make an exception.
Some hospitals allow warm water tubs during labor and that is what absolutely saved me these last 2 times. Just the thought of not having water would make me terrified. It so relaxes the intensity that I hated to get out to go to the bathroom and then I begged to get back in. Whatever you can do to be in control will go a long way to eleviate your fear. And of course prayers to St. Gerard, St. Anne and our Blessed Mother.
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Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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Sarah
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Oh, pregancy is so hard for me, like you. I get the SI joint pain (lowest part of back on either side), I get so sick, my heart races, I get so big I can hardly move and I had a c-section with #4 after worrying so much about labor I never went into it and so went overdue four days with a 10lb 7oz baby. I just exploded violently in bed one night and my placenta abrupted. This last baby (8 wks now) was a VBAC and the only way I could dilate was an epidural (my 1st one ever). Anyway, please know you are not alone. It is so normal to be scared. I think of it as our Agony in the Garden. Unite yourself with our Lord there. Gob Bless you.
PS I cried so much when I was PG with this last one-not because of another child but because of the terrible suffering of PG. You are not alone.
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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Martha
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momwise wrote:
[QUOTE=Martha]
Much of the fear of and during labor comes from not feeling in control. Is there any way you could change your dr. or hospital or at least get a doula? Or if your dr. helped you might be able to state your case to the hospital and have them make an exception. |
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I have a great practicing catholic dr. (yeah!) who does go to bat for me rather strongly. For me, it's not about control anymore as we're very vocal about what we do or don't want and forcefull enough to get it. It's that I KNOW I can't control this. There comes a point where I just have to accept that this is how it is... and I'm having a very hard time doing that, kwim?
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Martha
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julia s.
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Martha,
I truly feel for you. I'm six months along and it is just amazing to me that I'm going to get bigger and have to carry more weight when I'm already struggling with it right now.
I wanted to ask you though are you sure it's just muscular pain? I had kidney stones a year ago and I thought it was just back pain until I was hospitalized for kidney infection and much more by the time it was said and done. If your not sure at least try drinking lots of water to see if that helps with the pain. A couple of days really getting the water in you should help or at least make it obvious that it's more than just back pain.
Just something to think about. Pregnancy puts a strain on those kidneys and if your not drinking enough it can cause all sorts of problems there.
I'll be praying for you.
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julia
married to love of her life
with ds12 ds8 ds3 and ds1
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Leonie
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Martha,
There are some gentle workout videos/DVDs available for expectant mothers - yoga, pilates, etc. They really helped me in my last pregnancy, with hip and back pain.
You can check out Collage Video
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Bridget
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Martha,
I can tell you what inspires me and helps me get through the tough parts of pregnancy.
I have a friend with 17 children. They have come close together, under difficult financial circumstances, a sometimes unsupportive family, and with a husband who doesn't help much. He is a good man, self employed, hard working, devout…he just doesn't 'do' small children and housework.
Because her children have come so close together, pregnancy is full of pain and discomfort the whole way through. Her body doesn't labor well, she has to be induced and it takes a long time for contractions to become effective. She has had a couple of c-sections.
Yet, she is one of the most joyful people you would ever meet. From the positive pregnancy test she is thrilled with this new treasure God has given her and no suffering is too great for the sake of having this child. She is so thrilled with each baby you would think it was her first. Each toddler's antics are completely amusing to her. As another child learns to read it is treated as a huge victory. Each conversation with a teen is treated with importance.
Now that the older ones are marrying and having children (her oldest is 26, the youngest is 3), you can see the fruits. They know and practice the faith well. They spend much time calling or visiting their parents. They go to them for advice. They help with the younger children, in fact they are devoted to their younger sibs. They are open to life and anxious to homeschool their own children.
This couple has had plenty of criticism for being open to life and having as many children as God would send them. They have remained obedient to God as they heard Him calling them to be.
The path has been rough, she has suffered much. She just keeps plugging away and counts it all joy. I have learned SO much from my friend. Maybe her example can help you as well.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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Erin
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Martha wrote:
. Yes, I know. 7 dc and I'm scared of labor. I feel like an idiot saying that.
Does any other moms of many find it harder to get enthusiastic about baby like this? I feel like a horrible mother. Don't get me wrong, I know I'll love this little one, I just feel like a coward. |
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Martha,
This is totally normal. The more mothers of large families I talk to the more I hear this. It seems to happen about baby 5 or 6.
We are thrilled when they arrive but the thought of labour is scary. Don't know why but all mums of large families I talk to feel the same. Last pregnancy, just before labour I thought I'd better get out the book and refresh my memory to the stages of labour. Slammmed it shut, I couldn't face it.
Back when you have your first few you can pep talk yourself through it all. Lots of positive re-inforcement talks. Rah, rah. Not any more. 
Can't say I've cheered you, however you can be reassured your not a nutter. 
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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JennGM
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Martha,
Big hugs to you! Congrats, but also prayers.
I've only had one baby, and one miscarriage...and although I want another child so badly, I don't look forward to the pregnancy. My first was a very high risk pregnancy from total placenta previa with gestational diabetes that kicked in immediately, with insulin by 20 weeks. Moderate bedrest, and then a c-section with a vertical incision up to my navel that requires c-sec for each pregnancy. I'll be high risk for each preg due to this cut. And I hated the food and blood sugar thing. I had bad ligament and back pain. I felt awful...but I know others have it worse, and my child was perfect.
Do talk to your doctor about perhaps getting a physical therapist for your back pain. I couldn't even do exercise, but the massage and heat (and just some time in a dark room, alone  ) was wonderful for my back. It was covered by my insurance, which was a blessing.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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