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folklaur
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| Posted: May 22 2008 at 1:02pm | IP Logged
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so...I started wondering this after I asked about dh's new schedule. I am wondering....when do you, MOM, sleep?
I love the idea of getting up and doing seatwork while dh sleeps in before work. I just am wondering - do most of you sleep less than your dh's? Because I know my dh likes when I am up when he gets home after work (just to talk for a little bit, etc.) He doesn't expect me to be, but I know he likes it when I am. And, honestly, I don't really fall asleep well until he is home as I listen for him. So I can rest, but not really sleep.
So that would mean I would be up as long as he is, but then I would get up earlier in order to start school.
I don't nap well. I never have. I awake feeling ill and incoherent.
Do you all sleep less than your husbands? Do guys in general need more sleep?
Do you all just need less sleep than me?  If left to my own, with no alarm clock, and no small people waking me, etc, I will sleep for about 8-9 hours. I can do less and usually do, but as I said, left to my own that is about how long I sleep. Too many days in a row of about 6 hours and I will end up with a migraine that puts me down for an entire day.
So - how much sleep do you get, do you want/need? (Obviously, those with nurselings will have a totally different schedule...but even those that do, ideally, what do you need to function well?)
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mellyrose
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| Posted: May 22 2008 at 1:31pm | IP Logged
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Laura, I have a hard time sleeping when DH is not at home as well. I do rest in our bed, though, while waiting for him to come home, and then we often will chat briefly before I fall asleep.
It varies now when he comes home, but a few years ago he was working 2 jobs that kept him out of the house from 8AM until 11PM 5 days/week. I stayed up to wait for him most of those nights, but I am able to nap, which makes it easier I think.
I need 8/9 hours a night to function well. I survive on less, but it catches up with me. I do nap when I can, however, that isn't that often in our house.
Perhaps if you start pushing everyone to later bedtimes / later wake times it will be easier to do schooling later in the day? We have gone through times when everything in our house shifted a few hours later than "normal" and while it took some time to make the adjustment, it worked . We're back to an earlier start because I have a nursling and I am not able to sleep in long chunks -- so I make the boys wake earlier so they go to bed earlier because I am very cranky when tired at night.
Do you school year-round? If not, you have the summer to try out some different schedules without the stress of learning.
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LLMom
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| Posted: May 22 2008 at 1:50pm | IP Logged
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My dh actually sleeps less at night than I do. We go to bed around 11 and he gets up around 4:45. I get up at 6. I need 6-7 hours at night. I rest (but don't sleep) for about 30 minutes each afternoon. But I think my dh needs more sleep. He falls asleep every night putting the little ones to bed. (or should I say while they put him to sleep; he is usually asleep first  ) I always have to go wake him. If he is gone at night, I almost always wait for him. I can't sleep when I know he will be coming home.
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SusanJ
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| Posted: May 22 2008 at 2:12pm | IP Logged
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I sleep less at night than dh because I like to be up before the family in the morning. I can function on not enough sleep much better than dh (just don't deny me food!). But after a few days I need a nap to catch up and this usually can happen with dd who still nurses to sleep, anyway. I used to be a terrible napper--feeling ill and incoherent when I woke up--but I just got good at it, I guess. I'm better at short naps, now, and that leave me feeling refreshed rather than groggy.
Susan
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Jess
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| Posted: May 22 2008 at 3:26pm | IP Logged
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I need a lot of sleep and I have a baby who is a total night owl and is not a napper. We try to get her to bed around 10 or 10:30pm or so but if she doesn't fall asleep by then we usually just go to bed with her and let her nurse and flip flop around the bed until she falls asleep. She doesn't have a set nap time and sometimes doesn't nap at all  (she never has been much of a sleeper) My dh has to be up at 5ish to go to PT and then comes home around 7:30 to get ready for work. I usually sleep until he gets home and sometimes longer. The baby still nurses a lot at night so I don't sleep good. I can't nap either, I feel groggy and useless for the rest of the day. I know I get more sleep than dh does, but he naps on the weekends sometimes. I have tried to get up earlier than everyone around 6ish but I have a hard time functioning after doing that for a few days. I feel guilty about sleeping more than dh does and getting to sleep in, but I am so tired during the day if I get up too early.
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juststartn
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| Posted: May 22 2008 at 5:21pm | IP Logged
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I need alot of sleep. 9-10hrs a night, and I'm good. 7-8 I can do for a loong period of time before it catches up to me. 6 or less, and I'm in trouble after a few days.
DH sleeps really really badly. Has for years. Now he is working the 1130pm-730am shift, so there is no way I can stay up all night.
But I do try to stay up til he leaves (which means I don't get enough sleep....
Rachel
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 22 2008 at 7:32pm | IP Logged
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I need the 8-9 hrs of sleep.. my dh can survive on 6 hrs just fine.. so we usually go to bed together but he's up before I am.
But let's look at this some..
How many hours of sleep do your kids need?
Can they sleep in or will they wake up early even if they've gone to sleep late?
At a guess I'd say your kids are probably needing around 10 hrs? so you have 2 hrs of leeway in your day after the kids go down until they get up.
So.. I might try pushing back the kids bedtime until later.. giving them time for reading or quiet activity in bed before lights out.. they stay up later but you get some down time.. then you can get them to sleep just before your dh gets home and have a couple hours before you need to sleep so you can get up with the kids.
And a frank talk with your dh might help here too. Just like you told us. That you need 8 hrs of sleep and you can't keep the kids on their current schedule and get up with them AND stay up late with him.
My dh gets up early while the rest of us sleep and rather enjoys the quiet time, computer time etc before going to work.. and then our evenings sync up.
You need to talk to your dh and figure out what he thinks will work for you to get enough sleep and meet his needs as well.. Also taking into account that it may be difficult if not impossible to get some kids to sleep in the mornings.
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wifemommy
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| Posted: May 22 2008 at 7:55pm | IP Logged
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We have done this shift thing for years though my dh works until 2:45 am to 4:15 am depending on the schedule. We have just shifted the whole family sleep time the kids stay up latter and then sleep longer in the mornings. Sometimes I wake up to chat othertimes I just go to sleep more soundly when he gets home. We school in the morning before dh wakes up and then have our main meal before he leaves for work. It is so nice not having meal clean up at night when I am tired  Though I miss the help at bedtime I and the kids are the "envy" of other moms and kids because Daddy goes to most of the homeschool activites  Annie
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Dawnie
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| Posted: May 23 2008 at 7:04am | IP Logged
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Laura,
My dh is on the same schedule as yours is. It took me 3 years to figure out what would work best for us. Yes, I am slow.
I need 8-9 hours of sleep. It is next to impossible for me to get up early in the morning if I haven't gone to bed when I'm supposed to. I get up at 6:15am, so I go to bed between 9:30 and 10pm. I used to wait up for my dh, too. He doesn't get home until after 11pm, and then we would usually stay up until 12:30 or 1am talking. Then, I'd be dead tired in the morning, even sleeping until 9am, and the kids were always up before me. Not good.
My dh works a VERY stressful job. He is a 911 dispatcher and deals w/ domestic violence situations, medical emergencies, and just plain human stupidity every single day. Lately, he has had to work until 3am several nights a week on overtime. Sometimes, he has to go in at 11am for overtime. So, his schedule is not regular and his job is very stressful. This means that dh needs MORE sleep than I do right now. I just let the man sleep and plan my schedule to work without his help.
Here are some things we've learned while on second shift:
1. Whether you get up in the morning and sit around and have family time, or you get going right away w/ school and chores, you are tired in the afternoon.
2. Unless we let the kids stay up until after 11pm, I have to put them to bed by myself. I get tired in the evening, so it's better to put them to bed earlier rather than later.
3. Second shift leaves less time for family time and husband-wife time than other shifts do. We have to conciously plan time together that "just happens" for other families.
My life felt totally out of control until a few months ago when I finally figured out that I needed to make sure I was taking care of my own needs for sleep so that I could take care of my family in the morning. Once I started going to bed earlier and sticking to a regular bedtime routine for the kids, I was able to get up in the morning and get going with my day better. I am up and ready to greet the kids when they wake up now, rather than stumbling out of bed when I hear a scream and a crash and being tired and cranky. I try to set aside time after lunch especially for dh. My next step is to schedule regular date nights for us on his days off.
Dawn
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Jenny
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| Posted: May 23 2008 at 7:54am | IP Logged
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We have kept the same bedtime since my husband started working 2nd shift. The kids go to bed around 9 and I follow around 10. When my husband comes in I wake up just long enough for a brief goodnight before he showers. He stays up maybe an hour longer to eat a snack, and just relax. I usually get up around 7 and the kids soon follow; my husband needs to sleep until around 9. Once he is up, the kids are already busy with their day, either school or play, so he and I take that time to visit. Then I run errands if I have any while he is there with the kids or as he goes about his morning, the kids all hang around him and have daddy time.
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melanie
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| Posted: May 24 2008 at 6:01pm | IP Logged
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My dh and I probably sleep about the same...except when he's off. He often will sleep later and take naps on his days off. I also don't nap well! I feel so groggy and cranky for the rest of the day if I nap. But I've found if I'm really dying for a nap, it is much better for me to take a 30 minute nap on the couch, set a timer, while the kids have their reading time, than to actually go upstairs and nap-nap. I think getting in the bed makes me sleep more deeply and so I feel all groggy, but if I fall asleep briefly on the couch it's a lighter sleep. I often feel much better after this kind of nap...usually...sometimes I am still all groggy...hehe.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: but when do you sleep?
