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Vanna
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| Posted: May 15 2008 at 2:18pm | IP Logged
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to nurse? I know this is a controversial topic in a lot of circles but I'm starting to feel like everyone thinks I'm a weirdo or sicko or something for still nursing my 2 1/2 year old son. I only nursed my oldest until he was 1 year old but I was very young and HAD to work so I didn't feel like there was another choice. But I am a SAHM now and I just kind of feel like he will quit when he quits. 
Anyone else feel this way? My mother is horrified by it (BTW..I have never nursed infront of anyone besides my husband and my oldest son). But my son will ask for "See-Sees" which is his word for nursing...and people just look at me like I'm gross for nursing a child so old/big.
Honestly, I wouldn't even know how to begin weaning him right now. He just told me last night that he "loves see-sees more than chocolate milk". 
Anyone BTDT?? Thanks.
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: May 15 2008 at 2:53pm | IP Logged
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Hi Vanna,
Here's a helpful article, Handling Criticism about Breastfeeding.
The decision to breastfeed for an extended time (beyond infancy) is between you, your dh, and child. I have extended nursed all of my children and simply don't discuss the matter with others. At most, I have said things like, "I appreciate your concern. Please rest assured that this is a decision that our family has made based on good information (APA, WHO), prayer, and experience." Then, depending on the person/situation, I change the subject by walking away, cracking a joke, talking about baseball, or whatever  . Oh...soon enough most people will assume that you have weaned so it becomes a non-issue. Hang in there!
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: May 15 2008 at 3:16pm | IP Logged
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Ds nursed until he was 18 months. Dd went til 4 years.
I heard it all too! I still do when I mention she was nursed til somewhere in the 4th year--she is now 5. Oh, my mom had a fit when she was 3 and 4--are you STILL nursing? She had problems when ds was just an infant, with my nursing. I came to find out she wished she could have, but no one supported mom's in that when my sib's and I were born. Formula just came out and everyone thought it was best.
I am sad where we live now it doesn't appear people don't do it as much or as long. I try to encourage mom's I find nursing as I see it so rarely.
I never thought I would nurse a child for 4+ years but it just worked. I had a supportive family physician and that helped a lot-especially since the culture here seems to not support nursing.
I still wish I had it in my arsenal of things to distract and make her feel better. You are not a sicko. It is amazing how healthy my kids have been with extended nursing--never on antibiotics, zero ear infections(watch, next week we'll be at the MD for one ) and dd remembers her "nonnie" with fond memories. And I do too
Enjoy! He'll be a big guy way too soon.
Anne
PS-the nice thing about when they are older is you can talk about it. Sometimes even though she wanted it, I could defer her to a better time or place. Really, these are the easy and fun nursing years! She also learned to whisper in my ear. 
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 15 2008 at 7:16pm | IP Logged
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I have a friend who taught her daughter to ask for "milk" when she wanted to nurse.. when she wanted milk from the fridge she asked for "cow "
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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Lisbet
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| Posted: May 16 2008 at 5:15am | IP Logged
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Vanna,
I have been there, many many times. I have nursed some of my children into their 5th year, and have been tandem nursing for 10 years straight now. My mother is repulsed each time even the smallest one nurses!
Personally, I can't let what someone else (other than my husband) thinks of nursing have any influence on the relationship. I feel very strongly about protecting this relationship. When anyone expresses disgust or any other negative reaction, I just ingnore it -- like water off a duck.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
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Gabe, 13
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Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
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Josephine born 6.11.12
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Jess
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| Posted: May 16 2008 at 1:22pm | IP Logged
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I don't have experience with this just yet but I forsee being there too. My 14mo old pretty much only nurses, she just will not eat anything else hardly. I honestly can't see weaning her anytime soon because she won't eat and because I don't want to
I nursed all my other children but not for as long as I really wanted because I had no nursing friends and no support for nursing from anyone with experience. So when I thought I wasn't doing it right or not making enough because they wanted to nurse al the time, all I heard was that I needed to give them a bottle. My mom was like yours and didn't nurse at all and doesn't know anything about it. I totally see her later on asking "how long are you going to nurse????" with that look on her face. I have friends now who all nurse and I am so thankful for that! I am hoping to get pg again soon (hopefully soon enough that I can have the baby before my dh has to deploy...again, so he doesn't have to miss another birth)and I would like to tandem nurse. I'm sure that would put my mom over the top! I really try not to complain or even hardly mention it to her because if I do all she'll say is maybe I should wean her.
I think the advice all the ladies who have been there have given is great and maybe just teach him to quietly ask you and limit how much you nurse him in public, then maybe you won't get asked about it so much and you will be more comfortable continuing until he is ready to wean. Or like Lisa said, just ignore what they say! 
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God bless,
Jess
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Vanna
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| Posted: May 16 2008 at 2:17pm | IP Logged
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Thank you everyone! It's nice to know I'm not alone with this.
As for ds asking quietly...lol...I'm not sure he's capable of doing ANYTHING quietly. He made his poor big brother (12 years old) turn about 30 shades of red at his DARE graduation last month. Let's just say that my oldest had his own personal cheering section all from one very proud little brother. There were many..."I LOVE YOU BEN"s and "THAT MY BIG BROTHER!!!"s echoing through out the gymnasium.
Too cute.
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happymama
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| Posted: May 31 2008 at 9:00pm | IP Logged
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I've been wanting to ask a question about extended nursing, can I add it to this thread?
(I've read all about it, and intended to nurse at least 2 years, but weaned the boys at 18, 14, and 14 months because i was pregnant and super sick, and they wouldn't sleep at night until I weaned them.)
Here's the thing: when I am around other moms with nursing toddlers, their children seem especially clingy, whiny, and difficult to pacify in other ways. Just the other day I was at the park with a mom who was nursing her 9 mo old and the entire time her 2yo was really pestering her in an obnoxious way about wanting to nurse, too, because he had fallen down (but wasn't hurt.) This is just one anecdote among many.
So with my next child, I'm now doubting if I even want to nurse beyond 12-18 months. Once my other children were weaned, they immediately began sleeping through the night and became much more social, in a happy way, and would respond fine to many other forms of comforting. Btw, I tried 3 times to ecological breastfeed, but "managed" to get pregnant anyway! So I no longer have that as a reason, either.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 31 2008 at 9:43pm | IP Logged
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There's many more factors that go into how children react to things than just nursing.. it may actually be the opposite.. rather than extended breastfeeding being the problem it may be that that child needs to still breastfeed because of other things going on that lead to what you're seeing.
I'm very laid back for instance on bumps and falls.. and my kids learn from my attitude on it.. After Mass in the parish hall, one of mine has hit the wood floors pretty hard (loud) and get up and just keep going.. and I've overheard someone say oh that's just one of the _________ kids.. they bounce.
I also don't tolerate whiny at all.. my kids quickly learn that it gets them nothing (unless it's obviously a little who just can't help it at all)..
Maybe the 2 yr old that was so upset over a non-injury fall was past due for a nap for instance.
And there's littles who won't sleep through the night even if they're not nursing.. so weaning for the purpose could easily backfire and you end up with a toddler that needs comforting in the middle of the night anyway.. and you've lost the easy latch 'em on and everyone goes back to sleep comforting.
As far as responding to other types of comforting.. most kids will respond to other types of comforting if they're used to being offered other types of comforting.. sometimes nursing is just too easy of a fix.
for instance with my oldest I realized that I was the one having her nurse in the middle of the night.. because the moment she'd start to fuss at all I'd latch her on.. when I made myself wake up enough to really pay attention.. I found that a simple pat on the back would settle her right back down and soon she was sleeping through without that.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: How long is too long...
