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Becky J
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| Posted: April 15 2008 at 5:13pm | IP Logged
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Hi, everyone,
I am gearing up to start potty training my daughter who is almost 4 years old. I purchased some cotton training pants and let her wear a pair one day as an experiment. She wet right through them and through the pants on top of them. My question is this: when I am training her seriously, should I top the cotton training pants with plastic or vinyl diaper covers ala the ones Gerber makes? Will that prevent any urine from soaking out through her clothes? Or will the covers be useless in that regard, and should she wear diapers or disposable pull-ups till she's no longer inclined to pee in her pants?
I feel so clueless about this whole potty training endeavor. My husband and I intended to just hold off until our daughter seemed ready, but given that she's almost 4 and seems perfectly content in diapers, we are wondering if we have to help things along a little!
Any advice would be appreciated!
Thanks!
Becky J
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Red Cardigan
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Becky, I have three daughters. The only potty training method I have ever used that worked is what a child expert (can't remember which) called the "Naked and $75" method.
Naked, in that you put a little dress and no undies or anything on the child, and $75 for the carpet cleaning later! 
This really does work. Make sure your daughter knows that you want her to go in the potty (or a little training potty if that's what you're using) and make it easy for her: potty set up in a central location, or if you are using the bathroom toilet one of those inserts that makes the hole smaller along with a footstool will help her have the confidence to "get on up there" when it's time. Promise rewards for success, and don't get hung up on failures; using a diaper or pull-up at bedtime till she's gotten the hang of daytime pottying is a good idea, too.
But the key, to me, is that they're not wearing anything under a little play dress or long tee shirt or nightshirt--they really need to "feel" what it's like to have an accident in order to learn those cues that let them know they need to empty their bladders.
Hope this helps! 
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Katie
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Becky,
My almost 4yo daughter just potty trained so mostly hugs and empathy.
This may not work for you but we endured a lot of nakedness around the house while I got serious about potty training. We have no carpet so that was a plus. I used diapers or pullups when we went out. We made a big deal about using the toilet and I tried not to worry and push it too much.
My middle daughter trained herself at 17 months, but my older daughter was also almost four. She really, really loved her diapers so I just stopped buying them. She trained very quickly after that.
You know yourself and your daughter best, so you have to sort of figure out the best way based on your tolerance for messes all over and your daughters needs. I hope you get some great ideas and answers to your very un-dumb potty training question. I tell you, it's different every time!
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Nina
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| Posted: April 15 2008 at 5:32pm | IP Logged
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Becky,I share your frustration with the potty training.  My son is 3 and hates the potty.I told him that in the summer(during HS break)he will have potty training boot camp.Anyway,to answer your question,I don't think the plastic cover will keep the clothes dry.I have potty trained 5 children (working on #6),and you just have to expect that you will have some accidents.The plastic will help a little,but not completely.
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Katie
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| Posted: April 15 2008 at 5:32pm | IP Logged
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Red Cardigan,
I guess I was using that method, though I could have called it "Naked and $20" - for a new mop and all that detergent!!
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Red Cardigan
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| Posted: April 15 2008 at 5:45pm | IP Logged
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Katie, !
I guess the method's cheaper depending on how much or how little carpet you have!
(I wish we didn't have any...but that's a whole nother topic!)
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KC in TX
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I would not use the vinyl coverings. I just did not want to deal with all the wetness of the accidents so I tried it. It does not work as effectively as just the training pants. We used pullups for going out only. She's slowly getting it. I thought it was hard with my oldest dd, but man, Jordan is helping me to change my view on things.
Good luck!
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mary theresa
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I trained my daughter in the summer and mostly had her go around just in the training pants. The vinyl covers don't ever contain all the pee. When we went out, like to someone else's house, she would wear them just so the mess would be a LITTLE more contained.
I wouldn't do Pull-ups at all, except for nap and night. Pull-ups are just glorified diapers. The consequences -- wetness, puddle, having to change and clean up-- are not there with pull-ups. I used to put my dd in them when we went somewhere that I didn't want to deal with an accident -- grocery store,or church for example. I think it made the whole thing take way longer. She was confused.
So, I started staying home. We just didn't go anywhere and she wore underwear every waking hour. (Only exception: Church  , cuz we had to go there). That REALLY helped her see that this was "for real"
And I had a little potty kind of like this that i kept in the car in case we were out and she needed to go.
Oh, also, make her clean up with you every time she wets her pants! "You did it, so you clean it", KWIM? She'll learn how much easier it is to go in the potty!
Good luck! Potty training is REALLY trying, but you'll be SO proud of her once she gets it! It's worth it, so hang in there! 
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SallyT
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Ditto what everyone else says, about just going for it. There is no nice and tidy way to potty-train, because the consequences are part of the learning. Nakedness worked very well for us for all our four, and otherwise just biting the bullet, packing a change of clothes, and wearing underpants EVERYWHERE (except church -- we did pullups for that, too).
I remember that when my second child was training, we were living in England and didn't have a car, so I was doing all my daily errands with him in the stroller. I can still remember the itinerary I had mapped out for us, which would take us to at least two potties while we were out, so that I could be ALMOST sure he wouldn't have an accident in the supermarket.
And if it's any consolation, my younger son who's almost 6 now STILL has certain issues with the potty. It's a control thing. We've almost got it licked. But if anyone had told me in advance that I'd still be worrying about a kid who was almost 6 . . . I don't know what I would have done. He did learn to stay dry very quickly -- it was around Easter some years ago, and I trained him with a program which I called "Peeing for Peeps." Not exactly tasteful, but it was a use for the caseloads of Peeps my sister-in-law had given each of the children. Otherwise they all would have been sacrificed to "Jousting Peeps in the Microwave." And it did work . . . which just goes to show you what it's possible to stoop to in times of desperation.
Good luck.
Sally
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Fuzzy
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We are working through training my DD, and I found that going naked (which I was NOT a fan of) was the easiest for her. We stayed home for at least a week, and I had a timer set. We would practice running to the potty and sitting when the timer would go off. The timer was for her, but also for me, since I needed the reminder that there was a naked child in my VERY carpeted home. She was a little more independent (read: strong-willed ) than my son, so wanted to do everything on her own.
When we trained my son, who was about 3 1/2, I used the book Toilet Training in Less Than a Day to be my guideline for him. I also used a timer after the initial training, so we kept on track. We still have some ups and downs with nighttime dryness, and we do use pull-ups, but I know it won't be forever. Right??
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 Fuzzy
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Corry O
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Becky J,
Thank you for asking this question. I was close to posting something similar myself. My son just turned three, and is really showing no interest in losing the diapers. He is the oldest and has a 6 mo. old baby sister, which may have something to do with it.
I do have to admit that part of the problem is me. I just need to make the decision to hunker down and do it, but there is never a good time to have a naked toddler running around on the carpet, is there?
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KC in TX
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Fuzzy wrote:
| We still have some ups and downs with nighttime dryness, and we do use pull-ups, but I know it won't be forever. Right?? |
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I've come to relax quite a bit about nighttime dryness. My oldest was in pullups at night until he turned 8. At first, it was he just was not ready to be dry at night. No matter what I tried he just wasn't ready. Then after he was about 7 1/2 years old, he started to remain dry day after day. However, in his sweet autistic mind, he was supposed to wear those pullups so we had a hard time getting those off of him. Then, he'd be so lazy (well, not lazy, just a slow started) in the mornings that he'd just go in his diaper. He just liked snuggling down in bed for a good 30 minutes. I had to threaten to take the pullups away if he didn't stop doing that. Once I was able to know for certain that he was no longer having accidents, I gave him a concrete deadline of his 8th birthday to stop wearing the pullups. It helped that he had it in mind, and even before his 8th birthday, we were out of pullups.
All kids are different. My oldest dd never needed to be in pullups at night because she stayed dry at night even before potty training. My dd2 is still in pullups. Dd3 is potty training right now and will probably need pullups at night as well.
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bfarmmom
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Red Cardigan wrote:
Becky, I have three daughters. The only potty training method I have ever used that worked is what a child expert (can't remember which) called the "Naked and $75" method.
Naked, in that you put a little dress and no undies or anything on the child, and $75 for the carpet cleaning later! |
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This is what has worked for us with the first 5 children anyway. That and a bag of M&M's Every time they go on the potty they get some. Bribery I know, but it works.
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KellyJ
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When training, we tend to go with regular underwear and put covers over them if we're going out or will be out in the yard. Pull-ups are also handy for out-and-about occasions.
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Becky J
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| Posted: April 19 2008 at 8:55pm | IP Logged
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Thanks, everyone, for your advice!
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Tina P.
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Red Cardigan wrote:
Becky, I have three daughters. The only potty training method I have ever used that worked is what a child expert (can't remember which) called the "Naked and $75" method.
Naked, in that you put a little dress and no undies or anything on the child, and $75 for the carpet cleaning later! |
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Do this in the summer and skip the $75! Just let her run outside. That's what I intend to do with my little girl. We're gearing her up, getting her to "think" about what she's learning now by reading Dr. Sear's You Can Go to the Potty over and over and letting her process it. BTW, the illustrations are very attachment parenting friendly.
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Tina P.
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bfarmmom wrote:
| That and a bag of M&M's Every time they go on the potty they get some. Bribery I know, but it works. |
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Oh, yeah. Don't foget the M&Ms! One of my kids didn't want M&Ms. He held out so long, he got a DVD!
We read our oldest a book where the family was in a park with no bathroom and the boy went #1 on the ground. So ... our oldest wouldn't go #2 (of all things  ) until we set his potty seat OUTSIDE! After that, the process happened quickly. That poor kid was holding a lot inside for a long time!
I have many *war/potty stories* I could tell you. Sometimes I was more frustrated than others. I asked one (I think it was the DVD boy), "You don't want to walk down the aisle on your wedding day with a diaper on do you?"
His answer: "Yes."
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JennGM
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We're all about bribery here. We were desperate. The staying dry during the day worked okay, but the other part of going potty was a horrible, horrible nightmare. A lot of control issues, holding in...just awful.
We are now going on about a few months where he is finally going on the potty, by himself, enthusiastically, and very triumphantly. It just finally clicked. Seemed to happen when the baby came along, too, which goes against everything they say.
I can't blame him. He can't help it that he inherited stubborn streaks and strong self-will from both sides.
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Jennifer G. Miller
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JennGM
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Oh, and we did Skittles and Jellybeans here for bribery. And lollipops and Nerds...whatever was allergy safe and sweet....
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Jennifer G. Miller
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Isa in Michigan
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I would highly recommend getting the book How to Potty Train in Less Than One Day. It's a very positive approach to potty training that uses frequency, intensity, and duration for quick learning.
Essentially, you train your daughter first on all the steps she needs to do when she goes to the bathroom. Then, you have her drink liquids all day long. You want her going to the bathroom every 10-15 minutes. There are rewards involved as a motivator. It's intense for one day, because you essentially just concentrate on potty training, but it saves you weeks and months of having to deal with potty issues. The book explains the process very well.
With this method (in a modified form), I've successfully trained three of my children in a day or two. After the day, they are able to go to the bathroom by themselves without any reminders. They might have an occassional accident, but only a handful at most.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Really dumb potty training questions
