Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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CKwasniewski
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Posted: Oct 10 2007 at 5:50pm | IP Logged Quote CKwasniewski
What do you do when all your kids deny that they did some bad thing? And continue to deny it, given a reasonable amount of time to fess up?

We had this happen for the first time last week. Both kids looked suspicious, and both denied any knowledge of the crime.

If you punish all, then that is unfair to someone. If you punish none, then someone gets the message they can get away with stuff.

Any advice would be most appreciated!

thanks,
ck
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KackyK
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Posted: Oct 10 2007 at 6:24pm | IP Logged Quote KackyK
After a whole week...that would be hard...

We've had kiddos not fess up...but we usually know exactly who it was. Then we tend to give a big guilt trip, the whole 10 commandments speech with thou shalt not lie, don't want sins on your soul speech to the whole gang. Then we go to bed (these things usually happen for us in the evening, I'm not sure why??) Anyways, usually I have been able to take the child aside the next morning at some point when things are going really well for them (nothing like putting a damper on things) but they seem more comfortable at that point to open up...as long as no one else is around to hear. If there was another child who say the denied act was perpetrated upon, then I'll let that child know in private that said child fessed up and I (or dh) handled it. Just so they know someone didn't get off either.

But...I don't about after a week...so this probably didn't help!!!   

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Red Cardigan
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Posted: Oct 10 2007 at 6:36pm | IP Logged Quote Red Cardigan
I guess it would depend what the situation was, how old the kids were, etc.

One of my brothers once told my mother very earnestly that he was not the one responsible for something everyone knew he'd done--but he went on to tell an imaginative and elaborate story that made it clear that he didn't really understand that what had happened in his imagination hadn't really happened! But he was under the "age of reason" at the time.

If the children are above the age of reason, though, I'd probably issue an ultimatum: a certain amount of time to tell the truth, or everyone loses a privilege, even if that's not fair to the innocent.

One thing I've found, though, is that sometimes a child will be in denial about the situation (Oh, I was near the lamp, and it broke, but I didn't break it or bump into it or cause it to fall etc.). Sometimes carefully worded questions will elicit the truth (e.g., were you in the room when the lamp fell over? Did you see it fall? etc.).

Don't know if that helps...

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CKwasniewski
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Posted: Oct 10 2007 at 6:51pm | IP Logged Quote CKwasniewski
In this case, we had a 5 and a 7 (definitely over the age of reason).

Normally, I can tell...

We ended up giving a small punishment to both. But I suspect this is going to happen again sometime and want to be prepared.
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