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Angel
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| Posted: Sept 04 2007 at 4:25pm | IP Logged
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I'm hoping some of the other moms of multiples -- or many -- can help me sort things out a little here. The newest addition to our family is 2 weeks old, and I'm recovering more slowly from this C-section than I usually do, plus I've already had a bout of mastitis. I have my mil here to help, thankfully, but my 23 month old twins are, well, a handful. Right now my dh is spending most of his nights trying to get them back to sleep while I'm up with the baby. But I'm supposed to handle naptime, which is easily the toughest time of the day.
Before I had the baby, I would lie down with the twins, who can't be put in a crib because they'll climb out and can't really be left alone in a room with a closed door because they'll find some other way to injure themselves and/or cause destruction. I often had to physically hold them down in order for them to go to sleep. (If they don't take a nap, they are often so wired and hyper by bedtime that no one and nothing is safe.) I'm physically unable to do that right now, though, and anyway, once my mil leaves I won't be able to sit down with them and hold the baby because they're immediately all over him. We put a rocking chair in the room so I could sit there, but... the boys will not stay on their beds, they're constantly up and roaming the room, doing things they shouldn't be doing, etc. Anyway, no one sleeps.
My question is, should I keep trying for the naps or would it better for *me* to adjust my attitude and give up on naps -- maybe *attempt* to have the boys do some sort of quiet activity in the afternoon so I can get a break? The boys are really sweet kids, but they need constant input. I'm a strong introvert and I need a little time alone every day. But sometimes I think maybe I'm a little too bound to "the routine".
--Angela
Three Plus Two
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asplendidtime
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| Posted: Sept 04 2007 at 5:38pm | IP Logged
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Angela,
Just my thoughts, I have had 7 children in a pretty short period of time. Could you try putting them for a later nap and a shorter one? Like have them lay down at 3pm in seperate rooms? Have them listen to a tape to keep them laying there with a pile of books and see if they'll stay for you. I actually have locks on toddlers doors for this reason, naps take place with only one child per room.
I also have followed the advice of Dr Ray Guarendi for a long time now, and don't have any toys in their rooms. So less to do, less reason to get off of the bed.
I give up trying to get them to nap if they stay in their room quietly but don't fall asleep, and they can stay pleasant just before supper.  You know very frankly, I haven't napped in years, I just can't with all my littles. But I can get a break in other ways, you do need a break when you have little boys though!
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Peter 6,
Laura-Mae 4,
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Genevieve & Gabriella 1
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: Sept 04 2007 at 5:42pm | IP Logged
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I don't have twins, but I have many! 
Don't give up on the naps! Everyone needs to keep that routine at this point. And you, dear mother, need that time.
What if you assigned each of your twins to your oldest two? Maybe they could take them in separate rooms and either try to get them to sleep or just sit in front of the door reading until the little guy falls asleep. Can you toddler proof the bedrooms?
They are still so little and need that rest. I remember when I was expecting my 3rd, my toddler was hard to put down for a nap. My 11 yr old next door neighbor was homeschooled and she would come over and lie down with my toddler and sing to her at nap time. It was a wonderful thing!
God bless you all!
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Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Sept 04 2007 at 7:28pm | IP Logged
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I'm in the trenches right there with ya mama! While I don't have twins, I have a 1 week old, a 14 month old, a 2 year old, and 4 year old. Naps are all over the board right now. I'm hoping it's just a matter of things getting more settled.
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Rachel May
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| Posted: Sept 04 2007 at 7:45pm | IP Logged
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Is it possible to put the baby elsewhere while you get the twins to sleep? Lately, I'm finding sitting at the edge of the bed and stroking their hair for 10 minutes is helping the little guys go to sleep. A 20 minute investment for 3 hours of peace!
My twins--the oldest of my kids--still nap once a week at age 8. In fact all 6 are napping or quiet from 1-4, and I have the same thoughts about whether I am too routine bound. But right now, when I NEED a pregnancy nap every day, I'm grateful that I struggled through and kept everyone on a similar schedule.
I hope it works out for you! I know how tough it is without the C section and mastitis. I hope you heal soon.
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Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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theresa-lynn
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| Posted: Sept 04 2007 at 11:22pm | IP Logged
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Angela,
you are doing great girl!! I am praying for you each day, thinking of how you are working so hard to keep up with it all. Thank God for moms and MILs to help out.
I've had so many bouts with mastitis, so i know what that's like. My midwife always said drink LOTS of water, (like one glass every 15 minutes or so) when you feel it coming on. and rest rest rest. (right!)
anyways, i know my twins are younger than yours, but we've found that since I have moved the babies into two separate rooms (really didn't want to because i love the 'idea' of them sleeping together in the same room), it has been so much easier for naps. They don't wake each other up, and don't stop each other from falling asleep too. You probably don't have the room to do that, but maybe for naps you could nap them at 2 different times, or one could sleep in a different room for just naps?
I wouldn't give up on them just yet. toddlers without naps can be a real bear when you are trying to get supper on the table.
blessings!!
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Melanie
Mommy to dd 8, ds 6, dd 4, dtwins 2, and another due in october.
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Angel
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| Posted: Sept 05 2007 at 3:16pm | IP Logged
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Well, I'm admitting defeat again today... although I did actually manage to get them to lay down on the floor by my feet while I sat in the rocking chair and fed the baby. For about 10 minutes. Maybe not even that. I had my 8 yo dd take them into the room to read to them, but they wouldn't settle for her either. (I thought they might, because they really, really like her.)
We have 4 bedrooms and a long hallway, which my 4 yo uses for his "quiet" time (which lasts about 20 minutes before he starts making forays out to get toys, talk to me, talk to his older brother and sister... argh), so I suppose I could take one of the twins into my bedroom... and let my dd have the other twin.
Anyway, I guess maybe I'll try something else tomorrow...
--Angela
Three Plus Two
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happymama
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| Posted: Sept 05 2007 at 9:52pm | IP Logged
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Twice now I've had a 2 year old and a newborn, and naps are SO tricky, but SO essential! It seemed like if my 2's didn't get naps they slept even WORSE at night. I will say that I have often waited until the baby had just fallen asleep for his afternoon nap and then immediately started the toddler's naptime routine - in other words, I scheduled naps around the baby's rhythms. I think a naptime routine is essential... I've even gotten to where I tell my 2ds "we can do this the easy way or the hard way!" The easy way is we lay down in his bed, read ONE book, then I give him back & tummy rubs until he gets sleepy, then I leave the room. The hard way (when he's being completely uncooperative) is me bear-hugging him until he gives in...
Anyway, prayers to you during this difficult time. Hang in there. Speedy recovery.
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CAgirl4God
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| Posted: Sept 06 2007 at 7:46am | IP Logged
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oh, I am sorry that your are having a hard time. I only have four, but tow of mine are only a yr apart. and when they were little and sharing a room they used to fight me too on naps.
I ended up putting one on my bed and one in their own bed. whoever fell asleep or stayed quiet for the duration of nap time got to sleep on my bed the next day.
this was enough most days to get them to stay put, with a bit of coaxing at first from me or dh.
other than that I am not sure what to say.... but I offer up lots of prayers!
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SeaStar
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| Posted: Sept 07 2007 at 12:27pm | IP Logged
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One thing I picked up at a seminar given by the Maxwell family-- the dad made a tape for each child of himself reading to them and talking to them. At their quiet time each day, the child would go in his room and lie down and listen to the tape. The dad would say things like, "Be a good boy today. Hold still while mom changes your diaper", etc.
Terri, the mom, said the tapes were wonderful. The kids looked forward to their "dad time" during the day, and she had a break while dad kept them occupied. Even as older kids they would still listen to their tapes.
I always have thought that was a really great idea.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Toddler twins and a new baby
