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LucyP
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| Posted: Aug 27 2007 at 12:31pm | IP Logged
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We are trying to work out a list of what we need for our little girl. She will be about 6mo when she comes to us [although we are praying like billyo for sooner!]and she is a little thing - on the 25th centiles for height/weight. Right now we don't know where she is for development regarding mobility/sitting/solids etc, apart from "on target".
I really need some help and advice!
So having never ever expected to need to prepare for a child this young and as our son came at 18mo we don't have much at all for her. We have a cot, and a pushchair. That's it. Oh, we also have a playpen. I know I need to buy a infant car seat and another highchair as our son still uses his - and we want to get the same highchair as his since it can have the tray removed and just be used up the table.
I think buying cloth nappies will be cheaper than two years worth of disposables, especially as I plan to buy the cheap flat terry sqaures and plastic pants rather than the modern ones: for the "average" 6mo how many cloth nappies would you think I should aim for, given I'd rather wash every second day or even third?
I need bottles but I think you can sterilise in any lidded tub with miltons, right? How many bottles would you think I could get away with? How do you warm bottles? With our son, he was still on about 5 bottles a day - but of cow milk that his foster carer heated in the microwave and we just carried on with that.  But now we would rather have glass bottles and we don't use the micro anymore - with formula do you use hot water to mix, or cold and then heat in hot water on the stove? Has anyone used glass bottles?
I have kept some of our son's clothes, with the aim that some of the neutral or "Mary blue" pieces can be embriodered or embellished to make them girly, and also while we don't plan for her to be in trousers daily a pair in each size for messy exploring visits might be good, but they will be too big for her for a good year and while I don't want to do "pink everything" which wouldn't even suit her colouring, I do want her to be able to be girly - little girls in their big brothers' clothes look so lost to me. So what sort of quantity of clothes do you think I could plan for? IS she still an age where I should plan for two good/Sunday church outfits because of being sick or nappy blowouts? I was thinking just one outfit a day for general wear wouldn't really be enough? And we would like to be able to keep her nice enough to be church ready each day during the week too.
I really really mean to get a sling/baby carrier. Because of my back I was told an ergo would be best - also I could carry her longer and also carry our son to help him cope with new-babyitis. To help attachment I plan to wear her as much as possible, and I so regret when our son came I put off buying a sling because of cost - and he so loved contact and cuddling. Has anyone used an ergo and loved or hated it? What else could I consider?
I really don't want to buy pointless stuff and it is so hard as the whole baby industry seems to exist to make a parent feel crippled by guilt and overwhelmed by a need to spend money. Finding the money will be so hard and I need to spend wisely.
Oh and I really can't get much second hand. I've bid for some nappies on ebay, but I don't like the idea of sharing nappies with someone I've never met and I know that sounds silly.....and the terry squares are cheaper new than the "posh" nappies are second hand. The charity shops round here are awful - full of stuff that is stained, ripped, has feet hacked off sleep suits etc, and all of such bad quality it just looks wrecked. James and I went trailing all over the city the other day and went to every charity shop we could walk to (12+) and all we came home with were two tops and two sleepers - one of which had the feet cut off and I never noticed! And everyone says never to buy 2nd hand car seats, don't they?
Please, what would you say were your best buys or biggest mistakes?
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Aug 27 2007 at 1:40pm | IP Logged
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What season will it be where you are? and I'd start with things particular for that. Like would you need heavy winter things? if you're in an area with a later fall.. you'll be able to get summer things on clearance still I think.
She'll be starting to move around soon if she isn't already.. so if you don't like babies trying to crawl in dresses, you'd want to keep that in mind.
I really like the all in one outfits for girls at that age.. where you have the pants.. but they have a bit of a skirt around the waist.. looks feminine but fairly practical for being able to crawl around.
I like getting shoes for that age that can't be easily pulled off if the weather will be cooler.. otherwise they pull off their sockies as fast as you can get them on. but they can be soft cozy shoes.
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SusanJ
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| Posted: Aug 27 2007 at 3:11pm | IP Logged
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I really, really love my Ergo. I can use it for hours and hours without getting tired and the baby is right up next to your body. I know they are expensive but, especially with an adoption, a good carrier seems like one of the most important purchases you could make. If she's small, you can probably still comfortably wear her on the front in an Ergo, too. That seems like it would help bonding in the beginning even more.
I've found with my kids that past six months they don't spit up as much anymore and the messy diapers slow down, so they really only need one outfit for each day between laundry, plus one, plus a Sunday outfit. We always have more clothes than we need.
Don't go crazy with toys. My kids would rather play with stuff around the house, anyway. You can probably get a car seat that goes rear or front facing to save buying another one in a couple of months. Small babies do fit slightly better into an infant seat, but their main advantage is that they can be easily lifted out of the car. If that's not important to you, don't pay more for it!
We use cloth diapers. We have both cheap prefolds and Fuzzi Bunz. We like the prefolds better and they are SO much cheaper. I definitely second that instinct!
How exciting to have such a young baby coming. Six to twelve months is such a fun time of development.
Susan
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LucyP
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| Posted: Aug 27 2007 at 4:32pm | IP Logged
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Jodie, I am not sure about crawling in dresses - certainly my sisters and I learnt to crawl in dresses/tights or dresses/frilly knickers, and/or angel tops and tights. I guess we would see how she gets on. I've bought some special "sunday best" outfits on clearance for the next couple of years for her, but I sort of hung back a little from my experience with our son that buying ahead on very seasonally specific stuff hasn't worked too well.
Our winters are coat, hat and mittens winters but not usually very very cold. I was thinking a little coat would be okay for her? Isn't only little babies who are put in those "bundle" zip up things?
Susan, our son always seems to have way too many clothes too! Less is so much simpler, I think. Great point about the car seat - we have one that our son grew out of, but we don't know if she is big enough yet - but it would be a big saving to just re-use it, if that would be safe enough. I'll have to do more research - her safety comes first, but I'd rather not just waste money.
It is exciting! We can't really believe it. Adopting a child under 1 year is very rare here.
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DominaCaeli
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| Posted: Aug 27 2007 at 5:02pm | IP Logged
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Hi, Lucy,
I'll try to take a stab at some of your questions:
LucyP wrote:
| I need bottles but I think you can sterilise in any lidded tub with miltons, right? How many bottles would you think I could get away with? How do you warm bottles? With our son, he was still on about 5 bottles a day - but of cow milk that his foster carer heated in the microwave and we just carried on with that. But now we would rather have glass bottles and we don't use the micro anymore - with formula do you use hot water to mix, or cold and then heat in hot water on the stove? Has anyone used glass bottles? |
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You don't need a special sterilizer--we just boil water on the stove and sterilize that way. We use about six bottles per baby since I only wash bottles once a day; if you're willing to wash more often, you can get fewer than that. At six months, my babies still were not on a very predictable feeding schedule, so I made up all the bottles in the morning and kept them in the fridge. My son never minded his bottles cold, so I didn't warm for him. For my daughter, I would sit her bottle out for awhile before I expected her to eat, just to take the cold edge off. You can mix formula in warm water, or you can heat the bottle afterward in a bowl of warm water.
LucyP wrote:
| So what sort of quantity of clothes do you think I could plan for? IS she still an age where I should plan for two good/Sunday church outfits because of being sick or nappy blowouts? I was thinking just one outfit a day for general wear wouldn't really be enough? |
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The number of outfits you need really depends on how often you do laundry. I like my daughter in dresses, so she wears play dresses every day with pants or leggings underneath. The pants kept her knees from getting rug burns when she was learning to crawl, and they add an extra layer of warmth. And I just have a few pretty sweaters to put on her when we go out. In the winter, a little coat and hat would be fine. You really don't need a lot, especially if you do laundry often. My daughter has tons of clothes (lots of hand-me-downs!), but we only really cycle through a few favorite outfits.
LucyP wrote:
| To help attachment I plan to wear her as much as possible, and I so regret when our son came I put off buying a sling because of cost - and he so loved contact and cuddling. Has anyone used an ergo and loved or hated it? What else could I consider? |
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Our slings were so, so helpful when we brought home my adopted son at 4 months; he loved being held, and he attached to us very quickly. I would consider some kind of sling to really be essential.
I hope that helps some, Lucy. How very, very exciting for you!!!
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Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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LucyP
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| Posted: Aug 28 2007 at 2:37am | IP Logged
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Celeste, thank you for your input. I guess I would wash the bottles more often - my kitchen is tiny and I need to wash dishes after every meal or there is literally no room, so washing bottles more would probably fit better. Of course, dh wants to buy me a dishwasher, which is a lovely thought, but not likely to happen in the next decade or two!
Yes, we think a sling/carrier would be great. In the end, with our son, I bought a very cheap hip carrier and he loved loved loved to be in it, but it just about crippled me, and also meant I was one handed.
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Kathryn UK
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| Posted: Aug 28 2007 at 3:42am | IP Logged
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LucyP wrote:
| Our winters are coat, hat and mittens winters but not usually very very cold. I was thinking a little coat would be okay for her? Isn't only little babies who are put in those "bundle" zip up things? |
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Lucy, for the age she will be this winter I would recommend getting one of the "zip up things" with built in feet. Otherwise you will will be constantly trying to find shoes she has taken off and thrown out of the pushchair and worrying about cold feet  . Also you can just put it on over her indoor clothes and not have to bother about adding layers, shoes, mittens, hat and so on (they usually come with a hood and attached mittens).
An Ergo sounds good, but you might want to think about also adding a ring sling. They are good both for snuggling and being hands free. A homeschooling friend of mine has six adopted children and I remember seeing her snuggling her little ones in a sling while she fed them their bottles. I bought a reasonably priced sling last year from Freedom Slings and have been very pleased with it.
Dresses can be tricky to crawl in, unless they are quite short. So can trousers if you have a petite baby - the waistbands are always too lose so baby crawls out of them! You can get some very cute girly dungarees that are crawl proof.
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Dh Michael,  Rachel(3/95) Hannah(8/98) Naomi(6/06)  (11/07)
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Kathryn UK
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| Posted: Aug 28 2007 at 3:48am | IP Logged
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A couple more thoughts ... when we were baby shopping last year Toys R Us seemed to be the best value for new items - way cheaper than Mothercare. We bought a pushchair (suitable for a newborn) for £40 and an infant car seat for £30. Asda also have very reasonably priced baby stuff.
Also, are you a member of your local Freecycle group? You can ask there for specific things you need, and if someone has them but no longer wants or needs them, they give them to you  . Great system!
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Dh Michael, Rachel(3/95) Hannah(8/98) Naomi(6/06) (11/07)
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: What would you get for a 6mo baby?
