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monalisa
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I am needing input here. I am a 26yo mom to "only" 2 kids- 3yob and 7monthog. I like how Terri of MOTH says that when you have 1 or 2 that you can get really good at your schedule- I use the word "routines"- before you are overwhelmed with 6 kids- LOL!
Some background on me: currently dh is out of town m-f, home s-sun, so I'm alone all week. My 3yob is "advanced for his age." LOL- I used to work at a developmental toy store and EVERYONE would come in saying- Well, I have a 10yo (7, 5 3 yo) but he's ADVANCED FOR HIS AGE!. So I swore I'd never say that about my kids. Except that it's true. He craves "real work"- not busy work. I've used Montessori with him since 10 months (yes, I've been on the montessori forum :).) I've gotten a lot of advice like "Stop trying so hard; just read aloud to him; don't waste money now, he just needs x, y, or z." Well, that's not the advice I need. He doesn't just need read aloud time. He needs real, engaging, challenging work. When I take the time to give it to him, he thrives. His behavior and attitude is awesome. When I let the swirl of cooking, cleaning, nursing, etc. just pull me along without taking time to really work with him, other than stories and blocks a couple times a day, he gets sullen, destructive, unable to concentrate, and angry. I think I need structure, yes, even, a scedule maybe, to ensure that real, 2 hour time with him every day. "Just relax and enjoy this stage in your life and motherhood" is advice that just doesn't work for me. I'm not rushing anything. I've got a 7yo trapped in a 3yo'd body and he LOVES doing montessori work, using the materials etc. On the montessori forum I got some people with really harsh words for spending money on preschool. Well, I found a clever way to finance some materials and he really loves them, so please, no criticism for that- LOL.
I guess I thought MOTH might help me condense my household responsibilities to the early morning, freeing up a chunk of time in the late morning when I can commit to working with him on the Montessori materials. I think a loose, flexible schedule would help me develop the self-discipline to focus on his needs EVERY DAY, not just the days I manage to fit it in. I think his behavior, and my prayers, are showing me he needs this. Long term, I plan to use Montessori and unschooling. LOL- an unscooler with a schedule- I defy all stereotypes!!!
Does anyone use MOTH and love it- is it worth the $25? Anyone have another resource? I use FlyLady right now just in a morning routine and a b4 bed routine. I'm having a hard time getting FlyLady to meet all my organization/ scheduling needs. I think bible verses and spiritual thoughts on it would help.
O, and I've read Mother's rule of life and didn't like it AT ALL. I could tell right away that she wasn't nursing and I thought her system didn't take a nursing mommy's needs into account, and Terri seems to understand the special time needs of nursing a baby "on demand"- we call it cue feeding or ecological breastfeeding. Sounds nicer, LOL. Babies have needs, not demands at our house  .
One more thing- is it rude to ask for only positive, constructive ideas here? I just don't need 1 more ounce of negativity in my life right now. And the last time I asked a really private, intense question on these forums, I was a little shocked at some of the answers I got. I felt like a couple responses were snappy. I just figured someone who didn't like your question just wouldn't answer, versus taking the time to tell me I was being absurd in their opinion. Ok, I just HAD to get that off my chest.
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Molly Smith
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| Posted: Aug 06 2007 at 12:43pm | IP Logged
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MOTH was definitely worth the $25 to me. I don't actually use it  , well not the way it is written exactly, but it has helped me to figure out what everyone needs to accomplish each day and realize it all can be done. I make my own schedules on Excel instead of using their forms because that's just what works for me. It's also one of those books, along with Real Learning and For the Children's Sake and a few others, that I read every year a few times.
That said, I don't unschool or use Montessori methods, so I can't speak to how you'd like it.
And as an aside, I'm sorry for the experiences you've had here but I'm glad you're sticking around. Sounds like a few misunderstandings--email can do that sometimes  . This is an amazing group of families and I consider myself so fortunate to have found them so many years ago. Good luck to you!
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Molly Smith in VA
Mom to seven beautiful children, ages 1-14
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: Aug 06 2007 at 1:21pm | IP Logged
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Dear Monalisa,
Would you please PM me with your concerns (your last paragraph)? I really don't have time to do a thorough search right now, but I'd like to read the threads that upset you.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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teachingmyown
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I don't actually use MOTH either.  But, I do think it is a very valuable tool. I turn to it when things are crazy and it helps me get back on track. I just can't get my ADD self to stick with anything. Even just doing the worksheets to figure what you want to get done and how much time it should take is a real eye-opener.
I think you are very wise to try to get a "schedule" or plan in place now, in the early years of your family. It definitely gets harder around baby #4 and the "fly by the seat of your pants" method that got me by back then doesn't work now. It is too easy these days to let the day fly by without any real direction because I am putting out fires instead of working with a thought-out plan.
As for receiving negative feedback, I am sorry that happened. I would say that such problems are VERY rare here at 4Real. You know your kids, you know your resources and you are the best judge of what is best for your family. I think because homeschoolers are the independent, opinionated sort of ladies, sometimes what is meant to be "helpful" ends up coming across as "do it my way, I have been doing this longer and know that I am right".  I don't think it ever really intentional.
So, my advice, (because I have been doing this longer and know that I am right ) is to take what you find helpful from people's responses and let the rest roll off.
God bless and good luck!
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
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Lorri
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| Posted: Aug 06 2007 at 3:41pm | IP Logged
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I have used MOTH in our family.
The first time I read it, I didn't care for her take on babies AT ALL! I felt like she scheduled her babies way too much for me, to include if the baby was crying but the she wasn't scheduled to eat, the duty of distracting the crying baby for up to 15 minutes fell on another member of the family.
I put the book away and didn't look back for a number of years.
Now on my 4th baby, I thought I could use some scheduling help. I couldn't find my MOTH book! So I bought another. I don't know if I changed (ie, less judgemental of the author) or if in her later editions, she softened her ideas about scheduling babies.
So I've put together a schedule using her methods and totally ignoring her advice about babies.
I'm not a schedule person. Even the thought of breaking down our day into 30 minute increments drives me crazy! I don't feel like I need to manage my dc's play time down to who plays with who. You'd think that MOTH would totally not work for me! Instead, I modified it to fit our lifestyle. I scheduled large blocks of time instead. So overall - and with some exceptions!- MOTH has worked for me.
What was even better though, was their Managers of Their Chores book. I've got everyone, including me, doing chores at certain times of the day, with little nagging and great success.
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Lorri
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The Mac and Cheese Chronicles
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monalisa
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Thank you, Lorri, that was helpful. I don't have the book, but one of her testers was a ap, cue breastfeeding masma, so I assumed her book was like that. I don't schedule babies, and I'm not willing to!!! But if her method is adaptable, I'll try it!
I'm not a schedule person, either. But I lived in a convent for a year as a junior in college- talk about a schedule!
So I really developed the ability to use a schedule there. It's just that I don't want to feel behind when the baby needs to nurse when x, y, or z is supposed to happen. I was thinking about scheduling in 2 hrs of flex-time to my day so when nursing/ comforting/ playing needs to happen, the schedule shifts for that. Also, despite every gentle attempt, 6 books, etrc, my kids naps just don't work like that! More flex in the afternoon, then. Also, we do montessori, so that means a long work period- 1-3 hours- when ds desires it.
I also want a schedule to help get us outdoors cm style more hours per week. Tell me more about the chore book please? I could use help just there, but it's only me and ds. Would that book help just me alone?
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ShawnaB
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I found many of the MOTH principles helpful, but I could never schedule my day like they do. The most helpful part of the book, for me, was to simply make a list of all the things that each member of my family needed to do in a day, and how much time they took, and then plug them into the waking hours. It wasn't that complicated, but really helpful. I quickly found that everything that I wanted to accomplish between 7AM and 9AM (my appointed school starting time) was totally unrealistic...thus my constant frustration. Making a "schedule" (if you could call it that) helped me see that, so I switched some of those tasks to the afternoon.
If possible, I'd recommend borrowing the book from someone...or perhaps looking for it used on ebay.com or half.com.
Sorry, I haven't seen the chores book yet! I'd be interested to read a review though!
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Shawna, wife of Jacob, mom to Abraham 8 Amelia 5 and Jillian & Jonathan age 3 years http://www.psalm121family.com
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folklaur
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| Posted: Aug 06 2007 at 5:31pm | IP Logged
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Ohhh...I would like to hear more about the chore book also!
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Leonie
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I don't use MOTH as suggested, but have read it several times and have used parts of it it..I liked the sample schedules best, made me see that I can still have an unschooly bent to my days and still have my routines.
( There are a couple of families who have less structured days and less structured school days, in the schedules section).
I'll always keep my copy.
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SuzanneG
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I posted how Managers of Their Chores has worked in our house during the "Morning Routine". Lovin' it so far!
I also have MOTH and although I don't use it EXACTLY as it's intended I do find it helpful and pull it out several times throughout the year to re-group, etc. I think it's worth the money, even if you decide it's not exactly how you want to do things.
Before I bought it, I checked a copy out of the library to see what I thought. Even if your library doesn't have a copy, Inter library loan will for sure.
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Suzanne in ID
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Rebecca
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For those of you who have read both MOTH and MOTC, which would did you find most helpful?
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SuzanneG
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Well, from a practical, hands-on, use-it-everyday perspective.....definitely MOTC.
But, if you already have your chores in place and need the big-picture / overall routine.....then MOTH.
Both are good, but if I had to choose, I'd choose MOTC.
There are other chore/job software packages out there. there was a thread about this not long ago. I do like the "chorepak" concept. Dc having a pak attached to them to look at "what's next."
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Suzanne in ID
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Lorri
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monalisa wrote:
| Tell me more about the chore book please? I could use help just there, but it's only me and ds. Would that book help just me alone? |
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OK, I posted this review on the Sonlight Curriculum Forum, so I'll just copy and paste it here. I wrote it over a year ago, but my opinion hasn't changed. Oh, I should add that it's totally usable for pre-readers, in fact it's probably a bit easier to start from the very beginning with preschoolers so they learn to do chores and what to expect, etc.
"
This is a great book. I think I'm doing pretty well on training my children to do chores, but I fall too much into the trap of saying, "go clean your rooms" and then expecting them to just know what to do. I know better, but really sometimes it seems the easiest thing to do. The book has some good chapters on why chores are important for children now while they are children and later when they are adults. Then it gets into the real meat - determining what chores need to be done to keep your home running, how often they should be done, when and by whom. If you have more than 4 children, then you will need to order extra ChorePacks when you order the book. Since I only have 2 that I am working with right now, I'm thinking of using one of the chorepacks for myself. I'm not naturally a neat, organized person. I do my chores during the dc's choretime, too, so I might as well use one myself.
The system boils down to each child having a set of cards, called ChorePacks, that have their name, chore, time of day (morning, lunch, dinner, etc) and a number written on them. At designated chore time, the child picks up their ChorePack which is loaded into what looks like a name badge holder you'd get at a convention. They wear their chorepack while they accomplish their chores, in the order that they are numbered. When chores are complete, they turn their pack in. If they have more chores to do later, like after dinner, mom loads that chorepack into the holder for the appropriate time. ChorePacks not in use are stored a nice plastic page that sort of looks like a what you'd put baseball cards in, complete with hole punches to put in a binder if you'd like. You could probably recreate their system just from what I've told you, but the holders are all very well constructed, to hold up a lot of use over the years. Plus, you'd miss out on the most important part, the instructions for making the system really work. She includes a huge chore "library" to help you determine what sort of things need to be accomplished in your home. She stresses that the chores that are done in her home and are not necessarily the ones you need to have done yours. She also addresses how to assign a chore, based on age and ability - she calls it "ageability" If you have never had a good chore system in place - this is the book for you. She will take you step by step, from the very basics, through getting a chore system up and running in your home. If you are happy with how things are running in your home, but would like things to be even better - this book will have a lot to offer you!
I am planning on implementing the chorepacks in our family for room cleaning in particular. My dc have several areas of their playroom and bedroom that need to be dealt with everyday. I'm looking forward to not having to remind them every single time to get all the toys out of the bedroom, put all the books away, put the dolls in the cradle, put the stuffed toys on the chain, etc, etc, etc. Those are the kinds of things that'll be in their evening chore packs.
So I'll probably finish up the worksheets tonight and get the chorepacks set up tomorrow. You can either print them up on the computer or handwrite them. They even provide nice heavy cardstock, too. I'll come back in a week or so after using the system and let you know how we're doing."
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Lorri
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The Mac and Cheese Chronicles
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Molly Smith
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I just received an email flyer that the Maxwells will be speaking in Danville, VA (practically on the NC border) on October 1st from 7-9:30pm. Terri will be speaking about both MOTH and MOTC; Steve and two of the adult children will also be giving talks. This is a free (goodwill offering) evening conference. If you are interested in the details, PM me with your regular email and I'll forward it to you.
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Molly Smith in VA
Mom to seven beautiful children, ages 1-14
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LisaR
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MOTH and Mother's Rule of Life helped me to schedule and plan our morning routine from 6am until 12:30 noon M-F. That alone made a HUGE positive difference in our days, and made the daily changing afternoon chaos more manageable!
Interestingly, I felt like MOTH was a bit "Babywise" leaning and I nurse on demand. But, after first being offended, I just ignored those bits and stopped trying to add up how many hours between feedings those sample schedule babies were going
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Lisa
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Theresa
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I don't use MOTH the way they suggest. I only Schedule our school day and early afternoon. I don't do our evenings and I don't have any babies.
I do enjoy MOTH and re-read it every summer before schooling. There is a lot of good info. in it that has been helpful.
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Cay Gibson
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I pulled out all my Maxwell books the other day and have been going through them...rereading, regleaning, refreshing myself, reviving myself.
I was just telling Janette on the phone that we've been very unstructured and very "unschooly" since Christmas.
The kids and I are both craving structure, so I'm MOTHing it this season.
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Cay Gibson
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Aggie gal
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This thread is just the nudge I need. I pulled my MOTH book out about 6 weeks ago, determined to get rejuvenated with some sort of schedule, buuuut hadn't even cracked it open.
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Amy
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Anyone use MOTH?
