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Barb.b
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| Posted: July 27 2007 at 9:11am | IP Logged
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I know this topic has been discussed before. But I thought I would start one here that directly relates to us moms of teens. My oldest ds is starting in 9th grade this year. To give you a quick backround I reverted back to my catholic faith 2 years ago (with my husband and kids converting with me). Until that time we raised my kids christian for sure. But now that we are Catholic I really, really want my kids to stay catholic! Now I realize that I have 4 short years with my oldest before he goes off to college. What as parents of teens are you doing now to help ensure your kids will stay in the faith in those college years?
Barb
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Macmom
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| Posted: July 27 2007 at 9:41am | IP Logged
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1) Live the Faith at home. Family prayers (including, but not limited to, the rosary), celebrating saints days, morning offering and nightly examination of conscience, preparing for mass by discussing the readings the night before. JOYFUL orthodoxy.
2) A good Catholic homeschool group (not the youth group at most parishes... unless you live in a great diocese!)
3) Exposure to a Steubenville conference for high school youth.
4) For college choices, look into the good Catholic colleges. Yes, they are expensive- but your teen will a) be formed in a truly CATHOLIC way by CATHOLIC professors to think and act like a Catholic and make the Faith her own and b) see "dynamic orthodoxy" in action among her peers, lived out by people she can relate to. (And, if it's God's will for her to be there, the tuition money will come. I'm proof of that!)
Welcome back home!
Peace,
Macmom
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Catholic family life works on the same principle as a washing machine- clothes get clean by agitation.
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teachingmyown
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I would wholeheartedly agree with all Macmom said.
I think that for some of us, that will not be enough. I have a sixteen year old who has always been a challenge. He has little interest in the Faith, whether it be in the form of how we live it at home, or what he gets from his youth group (we are in a good diocese and have a very good youth minister).
But your question is very timely, because last night I was reading Season's of a Mother's Heart by Sally Clarkson. The chapter was about the belief that we, the parents, are solely responsible for how are children turn out. She talks about all we "do" to ensure that they stay Christian and grow up to be the adults we pray they will be. While the things we do are good and right, they are not a guarantee. Sally points out that while continuing to do those good and right things, our main focus needs to be to pray FOR our kids. God is in charge. He loves our children and wants us to beg on their behalf. We need to put our trust and our children's souls in His hands.
I found great solace in this. My son is very much a part of the "world" right now. He is maturing and spends most of his time with young men who seem to take the Faith seriously. But, he is also seemingly unimpressed with our ideals. If I relied on my actions to keep him Catholic, I would be despairing as I seem powerless over him. However, if I remain faithful to prayer and give up my illusion of control, then I can find a peace that only comes from trusting God and submitting myself to His will.
I hope this helps some.
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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jackiemomof7
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I think the most important thing is prayer. As parents when they enter the teen years we really need to pray for them. And we have to remember that they have a free will and sometimes that leads them away, but our continued prayers will help them to return.
God bless,
__________________
Jackie wife to Jim for 27!! years, proud army mom of Chris(25),Chef Matthew(24) and Sister Grace of Benedectines (21),Joshua(19),Nicholas(17),Jaymee(15), Elizabeth(13) and 2 in Heaven.Grandma to 3!
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Leonie
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Prayer and simply living the Faith have been pivotal here. I converted when my eldest was 14 and I think that my honest learning and sharing about my faith, and my dh's great example as a cradle Catholic, have seemed to be a help to my adult sons as they have grown through their own ups and downs in prayer life.
We have also all been very involved on our parishes, wherever we have lived - altar serving, youth group, volunteer work, small group work, getting to know priests individually. This has helped, too. Made Catholicism a part of life, given the kids
a sensus fide, an inbuilt sense of the Faith.
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Bookswithtea
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I'm with both Macmom and Molly. Prayer and doing what we can is...well, all we can really do.
There's one other thing. We were protestants before, and we have a lot of friends and family who are still protestant (including one AoG minister). I am determined that if my children do decide to revert to protestantism, it won't be because I didn't try to teach them the differences and why we are Catholic and not just Christian. What that means is that my history and religion are intertwined from about 6th grade on. While we do talk about and read about the saints, I do not focus on that as much as I focus on things like where the Bible came from, how the early church operated, why the EOC and RCC split and how geography and politics were part of the problem rather than merely doctrinal issues. We spend a lot of time on the Reformation, explaining the politics of the time, how Luther was not only a man with a vision, but also a pawn of the German landholders and suffering deeply from scrupulosity. And as they get older (high school) I intend to make sure they know the EOC and Protestant arguments well. I am sure they will be challenged and I want it to feel "old hat" to them. I'm more inclined to have them memorize the Friendly Defender cards than the BC, for instance (no tomatoes, please...its different family members are actively anti Catholic). And I will probably use a heavily modified version of SL's core 200 meshed with Transitions when we study all of this at the high school level. Using protestant materials as well as Catholic ones shows them things they are not always inclined to believe when I tell them (like just how anti Catholic some writers are!).
I have to walk a weird line in this house. I have to make sure that my kids understand that we hold in common about 85 % of the same beliefs with our protestant brethren, and that we need to respect their beliefs. At the same time, I want them to know that that 15% difference is worth dying for. I love books like The Outlaws of Ravenhurst and A Philadelphia Catholic in King James Court for their ability to inspire on this point.
I've worked out my vision more than the practicals at this point, as my oldest is only 14. I don't know if God is going to bless it and they will love Him and our Faith, or walk away. I *hate* this part of mothering, because I like guarantees. 
When it keeps me up at night, I remember that God wants my children in Heaven even more than I do. I try to cooperate with Him so that His ways have a chance and that I at least don't make it harder for Him.
Sorry to ramble. This is something I've thought a lot about and have strong feelings on. 
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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Barb.b
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I love all the replies! I agree with what everyone said so far! I pray for each of my kids for so many reasons but especially for thier faith. I say a rosary for them each night and then - just pour my heart to God for them! Without prayer are efforts with be fruitless. Also, being a revert I have the opportunity to tell my kids WHY I came back. It has been good in a way to have been on both sides of the protestant - Catholic fence. I too can share the common points but more importantly why Catholicism is The Faith.
My oldest ds is 14 and tends to go with the flow at home. He isn't rebellious but not the devout Catholic young man I know he could be. Prayer is the key - for it is the job of the Holy Spirit to set his heart afire!
One special prayer note is that daily I entrust my kids and their christian faith to the Blessed Mother. I am so grateful for her - she is truly my Mother I can trust my kids with to point them to her Son. Of course I pray to Him too!
Barb
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Lara Sauer
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Hi!
I would like to second the person who recommended books like A Philadelphia Catholic in King Jame's Court. My 14 year old son and I worked through that for his religion class last year and he loved it. It gave us an opportunity to talk about our faith by "watching" someone else learn to defend it. My son was recommending the book only yesterday to another friend of his from Church, telling him that he "must read it!!" There is a study guide that goes with the book that we used as the take off point for our discussions. I am already looking forward to reading this book with my 13 year old son!
By way of background, I am a "cradle" Catholic, the youngest of 10 children in my family. I have sadly seen 5 of my siblings leave the faith, one for a non-denominational Christian church, another to the Morman church and the last three simply to not practicing their faith at all. Learning about apologetics kept me firmly Catholic and kept me ready with a well thought out answer to counter any of their criticisms of our faith. You and your family will be remembered in our evening prayers!
Peace,
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: keeping our teens catholic
