4Real Forums: Inspiration to Adopt

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Mothering and Family Life
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Topic: Inspiration to Adopt - Resources?

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Sharon B.
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Joined: April 03 2007
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Posted: July 22 2007 at 7:15pm \| IP Logged

We very much want to add to our family. I've posted essentially the same message in the prayer requests but also would like to discuss this here with you experienced ladies.

We have four adopted children. Our sons and youngest daughter were our foster children who became available for adoption. Foster parenting became too difficult -- the pain of children leaving and reunifying with their birth families was too hard.

The last child we added is the 1/2 sibling of the two boys. She was still living with the birth mother. The birth mother passed away suddenly and the extended birth family contacted us and asked us to parent.

I am having trouble Letting Go and Letting God. I feel that a similar situation will come up again, perhaps with one of our former foster children or with an identified situation through family/friends, but that I am not being patient or letting it happen in God's time. Perhaps that's even why I'm having this overwhelming desire to add more.

However, most sane people (in particular my mother!) would say that adoption doesn't "just happen." You need to apply somewhere or something. Being the sensible girl that I am, we have filled out forms for an agency that matches families with waiting foster children throughout the U.S. (A Child's Waiting), but I haven't sent in the forms.

Helen mentioned that she "responded to crisis pregnancy centers" in addition to applying with various agencies. She also describes as accurately as I ever could how strongly and overwhelmingly I desire to add to my family.

Anyone with similar experiences? Any advice, outside the extensive prayer that I am already utilizing, to get me through this?

I thank you for your thoughts and shared experiences.

__________________
Sharon, Wife and mom to ds, 16; ds, 15; dd, 8; and dd 6

BlessedBGod
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Joined: March 03 2007
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Posted: July 23 2007 at 8:03am \| IP Logged

Hey Moms,
I am going through this as a foster parent right now. Even though my life is full, I still have this overwhelming desire to have one more adopted child. It does tear me up to have to give these children back knowing that they think I have abandoned them, but I just cannot get rid of this itch to hold a baby. I keep asking the Lord to get rid of these cravings if it is not meant for me to have another one. But the cravings are still here, now I just have to work on the rest of the family wanting another one too. :) If I wasn't fostering, I think I would get to be really good friends with the guidance counselors at the local public schools. Maybe one of them could relay a message to a pregnant teen that you desire a child. I wonder if they have bulletin boards at schools you can post on. What about putting an advertisement in the local paper? Maybe a grandparent would read that and tell their pregnant child in crisis about you? Then you could have a private adoption. What about talking with the hospital social worker at the nearest NICU? What about speaking with the nurses at the NICUs? If you are looking for a handful with a child, I think every state has those un-adoptable kids that they make sound terrfic on those websites like NCkids, right? Hmm. This is another reason abortion should be illegal...so moms who want to adopt have their choice. :) God bless you with this journey. -BlessedBGod JMJ

Jeanne Marie
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Joined: March 30 2007
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Posted: July 23 2007 at 3:46pm \| IP Logged

Sharon - since you have already worked through your state, have you requested an "adoption only" placement? Or have you tried "legal risk" (a foster care placement that is very, very likely to become an adoption - usually due to the birth mother's past history with the department)? We have adopted through our state twice and it has been a very positive experience.

BlessedBGod wrote:

It does tear me up to have to give these children back

Thank you BlessedBGod! It is wonderful to here about faith filled Catholic families taking care of these children. I know it is painful to let them go - thank you for making the sacrifice for their sakes!

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