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Hallie
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| Posted: July 09 2007 at 10:50am | IP Logged
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We just found out that our 20 year old niece is two months pregnant. The father of the baby has abandoned her. She is living with my SIL (her mother). It sounds like she will probably place her baby up for adoption. Do any of you have any experience with inter-family adoption. My husband and I just heard the news today but the idea of offering to adopt her child did cross our minds. We live in a different state but obviously the child would see his/her biological mother on holidays and such. Truthfully, it sounds like a very difficult situation, one which my niece may not even be interested in, but we did think it was something that we should at least look into, seek advice and pray about and possibly, after all that has been done, offer to her. Thanks in advance for your insight!
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Hallie
Wife to Dan
Mama to Daniel (5), Jack (4), Sophia (2) and Lucy (born in April).
http://hallie.wordpress.com/
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Sharon B.
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| Posted: July 09 2007 at 3:05pm | IP Logged
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Hi. I actually have a friend who has considered a similar situation but the relative lived in one of their rental units. She and her husband were considering adopting a niece. The family is very troubled and my friend opted against it because she was sure it would really only invite more trouble. It would not be the best decision for the child. In making their decision, however, they consulted with their adoption agency and they indicated that it was very common. You may want to talk to a social worker with DHS just to get an idea of the pros/cons. Good luck with whatever happens.
Sharon, wife and mother of 4
http://sunflowerdays-sharon.blogspot.com/
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Veronica's Veil
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| Posted: July 10 2007 at 11:15am | IP Logged
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We did this! We adopted our nephews...Dh's Sister is their bio-Mom...It is a VERY personal decision. My advice is to pray, pray, pray! As I am sure you already are...but relative adoption is much different!
Honestly, it tore our family apart, however it was under much differend circumstances than yours. The children were taken into custody by the police and Social Services, etc. They did not want to give them up, but also did not want to give up their drugs, drinking, and promiscuous lifestyle either nor physically take care of the children (ie; baths, food, clean clothes) Or keep an acutal home instead of a run down motel room...you get the idea. We do live in the same state, different city, which helps, but sometimes I think we need to move further away, to put some distance there for our oldest who was nearly 4 at the time and remembers EVERYTHING! We do not see them at all, haven't even heard from or about them in 4 years now.
I think in your case it may be a bit smoother, since it doesn't appear that the bio parents are involved in the same "stuff" as our situation. Also living out of state would be a real benefit, giving your family some peace. In some ways relative adoption is easier. For example, our children don't feel (at least yet) any need to find their birth parents just to see what they are like...because they know what they are like already and we can answer just about any question that they may have, such as medical history, genes, etc... Because she was Dh's younger sister and he knows all about her, we all grew up together even the birth father was around growing up so we even know alot about him.
The hardest thing I have found for MY part, is never really fitting in anywhere, I am not a birth mother at all, and yet even on the rare occasion I get to know other Moms who adopted our adoptions are SO different that I still feel like an outcast. 
Overall, I would like to encourage you, it can be a truly beautiful experience and in giving God room to work in our lives, He has used this as a wonderful growth opportunity for each of us! I don't regret a single day of caring for, loving, teaching, and just being Mama to my boys! I once heard it said, and bears repeating here, they weren't born from beneath my heart, but from within it! 
Sorry to write such a long post, I could write a book I think, lol...sorry
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Hallie
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| Posted: Aug 07 2007 at 9:19am | IP Logged
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Thank you so much for all your advice! We are still praying about this but are beginning to think it may not be God's will for us to adopt this baby. Please pray that if it isn't in fact God's will for us to become the parents of this precious soul that He will send a another wonderful set of parents for him or her.
Thank you!
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Hallie
Wife to Dan
Mama to Daniel (5), Jack (4), Sophia (2) and Lucy (born in April).
http://hallie.wordpress.com/
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Essy
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| Posted: Aug 07 2007 at 12:05pm | IP Logged
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Praying Hallie. The Lord already has a plan for this precious baby...may it come to be.
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Wife to Roy since Sept 1985
Mom to Sarah(May 2002)and Christian (August 2003)
Praying In the Moment
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krygerzoo
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Praying here, too. I know discerning God's will takes patience, prayer, and time.
Blessings, Katherine
wife to David '89
momma to Ramsey '05, Claire '01, Collin '99, Cassidy Grace '97, and missing my +Kaden Michael 1994-2005+ May the souls of the faithful departed rest in peace. Amen
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Relative adoption
