4Real Forums: enough attention to go around?

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: enough attention to go around?

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happymama
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Joined: Feb 05 2007
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Posted: July 03 2007 at 10:31pm \| IP Logged

well here's one of those dumb questions that i already know the answer to in my heart, but i'd just like to hear someone with experience answer.

i have 3 tots under age 5 and there are moments throughout the day where 2 (or 3) kids all "need" me at the same time. It feels like there isn't enough of me to go around - let alone make time for myself and for my hubby. The boys play together so much, I understand that they will need my direct attention less and less as time goes on... But we struggle to even know how many children we'd like to have! How do you give each child enough attention?

I want to be open to life and I know that God will provide enough strength to care for all the children He sends us... But sometimes I see mom's with so many young children and i just can't help but wonder, how do you do it?!

missionfamily
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Joined: April 10 2007
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Posted: July 03 2007 at 11:50pm \| IP Logged

I blogged after Kolbe's baptism and it was kind of about this. Click on the link and look at the Alone in a`Crowd entry in you like.

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Colleen
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JodieLyn
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Posted: July 04 2007 at 8:13pm \| IP Logged

There will always be times more than one child needs mom.. and you just do the best you can.. even parents of only 2 experience the same thing.. hey everyone does.. ever had the phone ring and someone knock at the door and have something on the stove needing you all at the same time??

But I wanted to point out the things you said here..

Quote:

But we struggle to even know how many children we'd like to have!
I want to be open to life and I know that God will provide enough strength to care for all the children He sends us...

Why struggle to know.. when you're open to life.. even if you're using NFP to delay for a time.. you don't have to *know*.. you just decide one child at a time (or if you run to twins.. two at a time

).. Because you're not having to make any permanant decision to stop.. you can always find that things have changed so that you don't need to postpone a pregnancy next month.. or next year.

And I found 3 with #4 on the way to be the most difficult.. all of mine were so small that pretty much I had to be right there for any of them to do anything they were supposed to. But once the older 2 both got old enough to follow directions without constant supervision (different ages for different things.. but for me it was 5 and 6 I think.. some things were 4 and 5)things all of a sudden got much easier.. with them so close in age it was really hard on my oldest to try and buck the tide set by the younger ones.. but once #2 was able to side with her.. the two of them could stand against the others.

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LLMom
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Posted: July 05 2007 at 6:48am \| IP Logged

I think every large family struggles with this issue. IT is hard. One thing I do, is realize they don't have to have time with me alone very often. But we do more of a group time. I will take my 2 girls close in age and play a game. Or my 2 boys close in age and do something. Or we watch a family movie and have wonderful conversations. And I try at least weekly to have a few minutes one on one time with everyone. Also, every night the little ones (about 8 and under) get talking and snuggling time before bed. I also include someone in all of my work. IF I am washing the dishes, someone is there to help. They learn to do the chore and they get time to talk to mom. Same for cooking, laundry, etc. Also, take a child with you everytime you run errands if you don't already. Great time for learning and talking.
As far as when more than one cries, that is hard. I have been there a lot. Sit on the floor and try to hold several in your lap. Read a lot or swing when they are fussy. And yes, sometimes someone has to cry while you attend the more urgent one. It does help as you have more children, the older ones can tend to one who is crying while you deal with another one. HTH.

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Lisa
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