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Cheryl
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| Posted: July 12 2005 at 7:38am | IP Logged
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The background: I nursed my boys and they usually slept through the night after 2 months. They slept in a crib in the nursery. They weaned gradually and stopped nursing at 19 mos. and 15 mos. I decided to breastfeed my dd ecologically mainly for the natural child spacing benefit. My dd was a very needy baby. The first 2 months she cried unless she was being nursed or walked around. Now she's 3 and she is still nursing regularly, especially at night. When she was younger I could sleep through it, but now I'm often awake at night because she squirms and moves her free arm and scratches and squeezes me. I've been going on the couch for the past 6 months after she falls asleep, to get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, but then she comes to get me during the night. My husband said he doesn't sleep well anymore with the 3 of us in the bed. Last night I put her to sleep on a twin mattress in the old nursery. She came and got me at 3:00. Then my ds 4.5 joined us at 5:00, and I couldn't sleep at all. I asked my daughter to not nurse for a little while so I could sleep and she had a small tantrum, then I nursed her so she wouldn't wake everyone up.
All this explanation to ask how far do you go with the family bed? Do you still nurse on demand at age 3? How do you get enough sleep? Do you let your child nurse when you read aloud? Do you set any limits? I just found out I'm pregnant, so I'm thinking more about taking care of myself physically, and this just doesn't seem healthy for me. On the other hand, my daughter seems to need it.
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Cheryl
Wife to Bob ('97)
Mom to Matthew 13, Joseph 11, Sarah 10, Rachel 6, Hannah almost 4 and Mary 1
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Donna
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| Posted: July 12 2005 at 8:33am | IP Logged
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geez....sorry about that....I'm still trying to figure out how to work this board 
I wanted to respond to how hard it is to sleep with a squirmy little one. I put a mattress in our room beside our bed for awhile to make the transition from our bed to a child's own bed. It seemed to work quite well. When they would wake up I was right there and it made it much easier for us all to get right back to sleep.
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Donna
DH, Keven
Jason, Stevie, Marie, Jackson, Clara, and Aaron
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Moments Like These
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jdostalik
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| Posted: July 12 2005 at 10:12am | IP Logged
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Dear Cheryl,
I have ecologically breastfed all my children and currently have a 10 month old. The most difficult time, in my opinion, for a nursing mom who has been nursing ecologically is when you are newly pregnant. I have tandem nursed all my children, as well, and my children usually wean around age 4, when I am pregnant with the next baby (at that point, I am usually nursing a youngish toddler around 18 months old and my next oldest, usually a 3-4 yr old. I am not keen on tandem nursing three kids, (haven't had to do that, yet!! ).
My oldest is weaned usually when my milk supply decreases in the middle trimester of pregnancy, though I do keep nursing my youngest through the pregnancy and continue to tandem nurse when the "new" baby is born. Weaning during your middle trimester may be your best solution. The middle trimester is when you usually have the most energy and also when your milk supply dwindles and changes to colostrum. My older child has always done well with a slow progression to just nursing at bedtime, though I rarely refuse them a "nip" if they seem to really need to nurse. I also try and remind them to nurse for "just a little bit" and try and remove them asap. Usually, after they get used to this, they are happy to just "connect" with you for a bit, and will surprisingly, be content to just cuddle after that. I do find that the older child who is weaned at 3 or 4, does need to be given lots of cuddles at bedtime for a while. As far as the waking up to nurse, try doing the "just a little bit" at that time, too, and eventually when the milk supply dwindles, I have found that they don't wake up to nurse in the middle of the night very often as they know there isn't much to wake up for! 
We have a really BIG family bed; it's a king and full pushed together on one wall of our bedroom, so there is plenty of room for me to find my "space" when I'm not attached to someone! That could be a solution for you, as well! I have to admit, that I hated the look of the bed, and invested in some nice matching bedding to make it look pretty. Made me feel more "normal!"
All this depends on your circumstances and your family dynamics. I would be happy to discuss this more with you via private messenger.
Congratulations on your new pregnancy! Our family will hold you and yours in prayer during this time.
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God Bless,
Jennifer in TX
wife to Bill, mom to six here on earth and eight in heaven.
Let the Little Ones Come
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cathhomeschool
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| Posted: July 12 2005 at 4:35pm | IP Logged
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I did exactly what Donna did and it helped a LOT, especially when I was pregnant. I highly recommend trying a mattress on the floor. Now, we do currently have the 4 year old showing up between 12:30 and 2 every morning, and then the 3yo pops in around 5:30 or 6. They join us because they are scared of the dark.
I have also tried the reverse tactic with success -- move a spare mattress into boys' room and sleep on it for several weeks. Then, when they are comfortable in their own beds and are sleeping through the night, I move back to my bed. I've been working up to trying that again, as a matter of fact.
Mine have always weaned on their own at too early an age, so I can't offer suggestions there. We'll pray for you, though. I agree that you must take care of yourself!
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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ALmom
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| Posted: July 12 2005 at 11:22pm | IP Logged
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I nursed through pregnancies many times and can ditto what was said as this being an emotionally draining time. That being said, I wouldn't change the nursing, but sleep was of real importance. We also put a mattress next to our bed and that helped. But what helped more than anything was when we discovered that our toddler just got really, really thirsty at night and nursing was the most convenient. We got a sippy cup and filled it with water and kept it by the bed, then when dd woke up to nurse, I would nurse her for a short while and then ask her to drink the water, before nursing again. She quikly preferred a little nursing and snuggling but mostly water and everyone was happier. She went quickly to nursing to get to sleep and drinking water through the night.
As a toddler, I could explain some things and gradually reduce nursing to times and places with which I was comfortable. It's funny but this dd weaned herself the day the baby was born - after asking to nurse and being allowed to. She announced that nursing was for babies and never asked again.
Janet
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Cheryl
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| Posted: July 12 2005 at 11:45pm | IP Logged
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Thank you all for your responses. I'm here nursing. I woke up and my dd followed me. My boys actually stopped nursing when I was in my 2nd trimesters, so I am hopeful....
I really wanted a king size bed, but we have a queen because that's what fits in our room. I really doubt my husband will go for the mattress(es) on the floor, but I'll ask him. He's not thrilled with the family bed situation. He liked it when dd was younger, now he says he misses sleeping alone with me.
We do give my dd a sippy cup of water at night, but I'll try to remind her to drink it more often.
Jennifer,
I'll try the "just a little bit." I think it's awesome you breastfed all your children this way. When dd was born, I felt sad for my middle child who was only 19 mos. I thought if I had fed him this way he wouldn't have weaned so early, but it worked out how it was supposed to, if I had ecologically breastfed him then I probably wouldn't have conceived my daughter.
But anyway, I know one way I can get more sleep...
Going to bed with the kids and not getting up to go on the computer.
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Cheryl
Wife to Bob ('97)
Mom to Matthew 13, Joseph 11, Sarah 10, Rachel 6, Hannah almost 4 and Mary 1
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mi4ol
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| Posted: July 15 2005 at 6:34pm | IP Logged
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How are you doing? Have the last couple of days gotten better? We've ecologically nursed/mothered our 3 boys from the beginning. We were blessed to have older friends that introduced us to the idea prior to having children. And we discovered CCL shortly thereafter. I'm still nursing my youngest- he's 31 months. And yes, he's allowed to nurse on demand at home, but we really try to distract him from this idea when elsewhere. American culture isn't quite supportive of toddler nursing. He's down to 2-3 times a day. His two older brothers weaned right around 3 1/3 years. And none of them have slept through the night until 3. Hmmmm and they are 4 years apart... We have a king sized bed, and have used the twin bed on the floor for transitioning. My ds is happy sleeping in there now, but still comes to our bed almost every night. If you don't have room for a twin in your room, a kiddie sleeping bag or pallet would serve the purpose just fine- roll it up under your bed during the day. It would be nice if your little one could transition to another sleeping space in your room prior to sibling's arrival. Good luck, and congratulations!
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God bless,
Debbie
Do whatever He tell you. John 2:5b
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mi4ol
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| Posted: July 15 2005 at 10:10pm | IP Logged
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I had another thought... Would it help your husband to read The Family Bed, by Tine Thevenin? Mothering Your Nursing Toddler, by Norma Jane Bumgarner, it also a good read.
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God bless,
Debbie
Do whatever He tell you. John 2:5b
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Meredith
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| Posted: July 16 2005 at 11:15am | IP Logged
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Congratulations to you and sorry if I'm repeating what others have already said.
Any of the Dr. William and Martha Sears books on Attachment Parenting and The Breastfeeding Book are excellent resources. I would highly recommend tham and also having your husband read the *dad's* sections too
My husband is not a big fan of the family bed, but I insist on it if he wants a happy and healthy mama and baby, as I'm not one that can nurse in a chiar in the middle of the night and then put a baby in the crib and try to go back to sleep. Just my .02
Good Luck and God Bless +JMJ+
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Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: ecological breastfeeding questions
