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rebeccaf10
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| Posted: July 04 2005 at 11:18pm | IP Logged
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Hi,
I have a 17 month old daughter who does the high pitch scream. My husband and I are at a lost. She is our first girl. Sometimes it is to get your attention, other times it is to let her brothers know she is not liking what they are doing to her. She does not talk yet and we are trying to find ways to get her to stop. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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Rebecca from Michigan
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mary
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| Posted: July 05 2005 at 7:07am | IP Logged
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Girls scream. IMO, it's the nature of the beastie and all you can do is ride it out, remind them to use the indoor voice, tell them screaming hurts your ears and wait for it to pass. Don't make a big deal out of it least she begin to do it for Purposeful Fun. Yikes! So says Mary whose 2 yr old appears to be exiting the screaming phase. 
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1Bookworm
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| Posted: July 05 2005 at 7:24am | IP Logged
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I had a screaming girl...my second, at around the same age as yours. I am kind of sensitive to noise so it took everything in our power to train her out of it without running out of the house with our hands over our ears! LOL
What we did was ignore whatever requests were made with a scream. We'd tell her after the first scream, "No, use your nice voice" or something like that, and then after that, no response until she said it right. In the beginning she screamed even more. I thought I was going to burst an ear drum, sometimes! It was also rather awkward when company came over. She didn't have great language skills, but the thing was, she did communicate sometimes without screaming, so we accepted *any* response that was not at that horrible decibel.
BTW, screaming to communicate was treated differently from the typical screaming giggles and joyful noises that seem to just be par for the course with girls. We just smile and remind them "shush, not so loud" once in a while with that.
hope this helps!
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As you enter this life, I pray you depart with a wrinkled face and a brand new heart.
~U2
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Courtney
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| Posted: July 05 2005 at 7:42am | IP Logged
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Another idea might be teaching some simple signs. We taught our dd to sign for "more", "drink", "nurse", "finished" and some others. That may help if she doesn't yet have words to express herself.
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Courtney in Texas
Wife to Mike since 3/94 
Mom to Candace 10/97 ,Christopher 4/00 and Connor 11/11
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Molly Smith
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| Posted: July 05 2005 at 9:57am | IP Logged
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My daughter who will be three this month has a screaming streak, but it's usually just when my 5yo is making her crazy. He makes me want to scream sometimes, too  ! We usually ask her to go to the opposite extreme and whisper her request--it's much more fun and everyone has to be silent to hear her.
I want to second Courtney's suggestion of simple signs, too. Sarah speaks as well as any adult, but she is still just 3 and she has four siblings. She loves to sign, though, and enjoys the challenge of trying to remember the signs she needs to use (we've only made it through the third Signing Times, but that's enough for the basics).
I also have an impatient 10 month old who happens to love food. We'll pop a baby goldfish in his mouth and he'll scream for another one. He's obviously not talking yet, so he doesn't have any other way to ask. Well, one day in the car I said, "No, Patrick, you mean Please Jeanne may I have another goldfish" and he made a quiet little "uh" and she popped another in his mouth. The next time he made a little "uh" she did it again and it worked!! I can't believe he understood what I was saying, but I've repeated it several times since and he seems to really understand!! Long story short, practice and positive reinforcement...
Blessings!
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Molly Smith in VA
Mom to seven beautiful children, ages 1-14
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saintanneshs
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| Posted: July 05 2005 at 7:55pm | IP Logged
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Guess I'm the odd one to have a BOY who screamed...My now 2yo ds was and sometimes still is a screamer. He began screaming before talking (the norm, I see) and for him it is mostly a frustration thing. With 2 older brothers (4 and 5) he can't keep up physically, mentally or verbally, hence the screaming. I see it a lot when he can't communicate or his big brothers try to take something from him (a "trade" he doesn't want). I second all of the above suggestions (we used a lot of "use your inside voice") and we practiced taking deep breaths when I could calm him down or better yet, catch him before he reached the boiling point.
The worst part of having a screamer (for me) was the embarassment we had when we were in public with our little guy and he would scream for something (a shatter-the-glass-on-the-table level of screaming). At that point I'd just pull him onto my lap and cuddle him, speaking softly to calm him down and reassure him. The more upset we got about the screaming, the more our little guy upped the ante. Staying calm and being patient was key. I did try ignoring him a few times in the beginning, but I found that with my boys (the 1st and 3rd) that ignoring them only sent them into more distressing attempts to get my attention. So we stopped the ignore-it-and-it-will-go-away technique that has worked for friends or for our own children in other situations. We don't discipline for screaming done out of frustration but rather tell him not to scream but to use his words. We do discipline for screaming fits (temper tantrums) over things like not getting his way and I've found that this is helping.
My screamer is doing less and less of it these days, and oddly enough, he is stuttering more and more. I wonder if this is normal or if there's something I can do to help my little guy get out what it is he's trying to say.
Hang in there...this too shall pass!
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Kristine
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mi4ol
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| Posted: July 15 2005 at 7:08pm | IP Logged
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I know this topic is a couple of weeks old, but... just wanted Kristine to know she's not the only one with screaming boys. All 3 of mine, especially the two youngest, were high-pitched screamers. And, like you, the "ignore it tell it passes" method did NOT work. We survived the first two, we'll survive this one. When Grandma was watching my current 2-year old while I took the older ones out he tried screaming for her. She told him NO! Not so loud, scream quietly like this "ahhhhh" and he did!  Didn't work for us, but funny! You have to laugh during this stage! When my dh and I talk on the phone and the tot screams my dh's work phone tries to "go secure" on him. The scream is so high-pitched it's read as a digital signal. We're not doing much in public during this phase and when we do he's immediately taken out if he screams (particularly if he wants to be there). Although, the rest of us aren't punished for his behavior and finish the errand while a parent sits with him in the car. This too shall pass Rebecca. Try to enjoy the ride.
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God bless,
Debbie
Do whatever He tell you. John 2:5b
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Screaming
