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nicole marie
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| Posted: April 11 2007 at 1:20pm | IP Logged
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Hello,
I am brand new here and I have so enjoyed learning from you wise mothers as I have been browsing here for months. I am wondering if you have any suggestions or ideas for me. My DD is 8 1/2 months old and has recently become extreamly fussy. I get to the end of the day wondering if I am doing something wrong and why I can't make her happy. She seems to be on the brink of crawling (she gets up on all fours and rocks back and forth only to fall back on her tummy in frustration). I keep wanting to think it is teething, but she hasn't showed any other symptoms other than being generally cranky. I have increased her solid meals in case maybe she has been more hungry, but that hasn't seemed to help too much. Before this stage she was fairly independent and enjoyed playing on the floor by herself, but now she needs me to entertain her at all times...and even then, I am not always interesting enough to make her happy. Yesterday I finally had enough, after a full day of undivided attention, I went to make dinner with her sitting in the highchair near me to watch and she just threw a fit! I had to put her back in her room in the crib so I could make dinner for my husband, and I hated having to let her just scream until I was done. Is this normal? Any ideas on what I can do to help her regain her independence and love of playing alone (sometimes at least!) Is it possibly just a phase? Can I give that extra attention she seems to be needing now without spoiling her later? Thank you all for listening!!! God bless you always!
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Lisbet
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| Posted: April 11 2007 at 1:53pm | IP Logged
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Dear Nicole Marie, WELCOME! :)
This sounds like a very frustrating issue, for both of you! Maybe she is just really frustrated about not being able to get to where/what she wants on her own. I have seen this frustration in my own babies. It's amazing how happy they become when they begin to crawl, but, you'll still have trouble making dinner because she's be all over the place! LOL!
When we have the dinner issues with a fussy baby, I ask older child to keep tabs on the baby for a time. It doesn't sound like you have that option just yet. Have you considered a sling on your back? My babies love to be able to watch everything that I am doing from up high, and they love to be close to me.
I really don't think the extra attention you are giving her will 'spoil' her, now or later. Like the old saying goes, it's the food left in the back of the fridge, forgotten and left alone that becomes spoiled! :)
I hope you both have some peace soon!
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
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Josephine born 6.11.12
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ALmom
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| Posted: April 11 2007 at 1:54pm | IP Logged
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My dd always went through a fussy, very irritable stage just before learning a new skill. It was as if the frustration of not being able to do what she wanted, set her off. It sounds like your baby is just on the verge of crawling. Give her lots of opportunities to actually transition from trying to start crawling to actually start crawling and the crankiness may go away. I just read that it is easier to learn to crawl if on a solid floor (no rug) and no blanket. Also dresses generally get in little girls ways (that is why little boys used to be dressed in dresses - to slow them down for their own safety  ) Has she scooted on her belly yet? If not - maybe showing her or using this as part of your interaction. Anything to help her get to the point of learning a new skill that she seems on the verge of learning.
This same child of mine had this same pattern with everything new, even older than infant. When she learned a new math skill, she needed some reassurance and confidence boosting till she grasped it - then the world was fine again. If I failed to recognize it and got frustrated with her, we took a spiral downward and dd would sometimes seem to shut down or have an emotional meltdown. She did survive my parenting, failures and all, so perspective in the midst of frustration always helps. If I could not immediately grab a child up or play all day because of some essential task, I tried to keep the child in the room with me and there were times it really, really rattled my nerves and I had to have some relief just to help me maintain sanity. I wish I'd known that so much of it was this child's temperment and she really needed to discover that she could do things with some encouragement and patience. (It took me into her teens to figure this one out  but she is a wonderful, young lady anyways!)
Janet
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MarieC
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| Posted: April 11 2007 at 2:57pm | IP Logged
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You've gotten a lot of good advice already and I also send much sympathy your way...it's a tough situation to be in.
I don't know what part of the country you're in but if the weather is good enough to get out in, that might help. Several of my little ones would perk right up out in the fresh air...my oldest used to get walked in the backyard every evening when she was small because it was the only thing that would calm her down. Now if your weather is like mine today (a cold, cold rain  )...that would probably just increase the fussiness!
Good Luck! Oh, and welcome!
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Marie
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Maryan
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| Posted: April 11 2007 at 3:00pm | IP Logged
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Over Easter my sister was looking for the same advice! I told her that I thought "Frustration is the Mother of Locomotion" - to change a quote - in babies! You can clearly see their desire and their lack of ability spurs them on to new stuff (crawling, etc.)!!
So I think Janet and Lisa have sage advice -- and I think Janet is right about varying temperament reactions to this frustration!
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Maryan
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: April 12 2007 at 7:13pm | IP Logged
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Oh yes, this is common and frustrating for mom and baby! In addition to the above information I'll add:
Baby backpacks can work better than a sling while working in the kitchen.
Temperaments definitely play a big role in how a child transitions into new phases.
Have "emergency dinner" plans because fussy times too often collide with meal time.
"Change it!" If you are inside, go outside. If the baby is dry, place baby in a bath. If it is quiet in your home, put on some music. If it is bright in your home, turn out the lights.
Hylands teething tablets help some children and can be found in most drug and super stores.
Remember that "this too shall pass."
Gotta run! Will hold you in prayer, nicole marie.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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nicole marie
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| Posted: April 20 2007 at 7:53pm | IP Logged
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Thank you all so very much for your help!! Your suggestions have been so helpful. I put her back in the sling for a day or so, and somehow I think that must have helped a bit. She is back to her happy little self, still working on the crawling but a bit more happy than before  Thank you so so much!!!
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esperanza
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| Posted: April 20 2007 at 8:53pm | IP Logged
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My lil girl just turned 9 mos and she is very big. She has been fussier than usual with teething and trying to crawl. I do like back packing ...but the wear and tear has gotten to me over the years of having big babies....so I just came home with this to hang near the kitchen and garage door (washer and dryer are in there)...this is going to replace my back packing in the kitchen before I damage my shoulder again 
Glad to hear your dd is happier, Nicole.
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Tammy Gonzalez in VA
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and Jacinta-06
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MarieC
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| Posted: April 21 2007 at 12:01am | IP Logged
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Nicole Marie, I'm glad to hear things are happier for your little one! My guy will be 1 next week and is beginning to walk but still needs that time in the sling every day at some point.
Tammy....what a great idea. i bet your dd will love it! I've been sending my guy outside to the swing with my oldest girls while I do dinner but one right in the house would be fabulous!
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Marie
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dds-98, 00, 02 and 09 & dss-03 and 06
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Fussy Babies
