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Kathryn
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| Posted: Dec 14 2011 at 10:27pm | IP Logged
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This quote from DS 11 this afternoon. He did say it somewhat under his breath today as I pulled out a "fun" short picture book to read during lunch.   Big sigh...... I didn't really comment. I try to find enjoyable books as read alouds. He did seem to like this book and did participate but ?
He does have quite a few learning struggles specifically the most challening are dyslexia, low working memory and receptive/expressive language difficulties but we're working on them. There's probably some ADD in there too. I think the whole "language" thing is hard for him...reading, listening, grasping, understanding. I know because of all this that I tend to "overwork" the read aloud aspect. Stopping frequently to ask if he understands, does he know what something means, explaining. It does kind of take away the enjoyment of the book (even for me) esp. if we're trying to read a higher level chapter book.
Thoughts?
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Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Dec 14 2011 at 10:44pm | IP Logged
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He's 11.. can you give him a signal that means he needs something explained.. and have at least something you read aloud only be about fun unless he asks for more? Don't ask him questions, don't stop etc. All that work otherwise will make more sense if you have the goal of being able to enjoy the reading.. but if you don't find reading enjoyable it's quick to lose the desire to read.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Dec 15 2011 at 6:09am | IP Logged
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My first and immediate thought, having an 11 yo son, too, is along the lines of Jodie's....this sounds like a typical 11yo-I-would-rather-be-playing-legos-football-baseball-takin g-something-apart-than-this kind of statement. I wouldn't overthink it much more than that.
I would take all those other concerns and sit down with them and brainstorm them though, probably over your Christmas break.
Kathryn wrote:
| I know because of all this that I tend to "overwork" the read aloud aspect. Stopping frequently to ask if he understands, does he know what something means, explaining. It does kind of take away the enjoyment of the book (even for me) esp. if we're trying to read a higher level chapter book. |
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Again, agreeing with Jodie - just let the read aloud be fun, unstressed, enjoyable time to listen to Mom read something aloud. You may have to sit on your hands for a while to get out of the habit of stopping. And it's ok to start asking a question and then say, "You know what, I'm sorry. I told you I wasn't going to interrupt the story anymore and I forgot and did it anyway. Let's get back to it!" I read books that are out of my kids reach all the time. Many, many times they learn the vocabulary and comprehension through inferences and context in the story, but they don't get that if the story flow and rhythm is interrupted. I never would have expected them to "get" so much understanding out of a book simply through context, but they do!
And I make it a point to RELISH those larger vocabulary words, you know the ones I mean - they're positively delicious to read! Like *indefatigable* (Horatio Hornblower). I KNOW my kids don't have a clue what the word means, and for some of these words, even I don't know the exact meaning. We keep a LARGE dictionary set out and open (not those ridiculously frustrating children's dictionaries in which you can never find the words you're hunting for!  ) and we go to it AFTER we read together. Sometimes, I do it on my own because one of the things I LOVE to do is incorporate the big vocabulary into my own vocabulary and use it in the everyday. TOTALLY stumps the kids!  But then, they really GET the meaning, and I notice that they too have begun to incorporate the words into their vocabulary because the words become like familiar friends.
Anyway, that was just a way of sharing how we try to make some of these bigger/larger/deeper stories more accessible in ways that aren't an affront to the kids or the read aloud time. The read aloud time is all about sitting and soaking up the story!
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Jen Mackintosh
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stellamaris
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| Posted: Dec 15 2011 at 7:07am | IP Logged
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I also have a son with attention, language, and memory struggles. I find that when I am reading a more challenging book to his brothers (like Swiss Family Robinson or The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood), he often will wander away after a relatively short session of reading (about 10 minutes seems to be his limit). I think that for him it is just very tiring to have to continue to put in the energy to process all that language. Here are a few ways I try to compensate:
1. We often read "round robin". Rather than me reading to them, we take turns going around the table (or couch!), each reading a paragraph. This seems to help my ds stay more engaged and focused.
2. I allow him to leave when he's had "enough". ETA: When I am reading to just him, I keep the reading times short, less than 10-15 minutes.
3. I use a lot of audio books in the car. He is stuck in there, so I figure he will at least get some benefit from being "forced" to listen.
4. I try to mix fun, easy, even goofy reads in with more serious reads. We usually have two or three books we are reading aloud and we alternate days among them. I try to choose one that is a little easier to understand and related to. Even a short story that capitalizes on his personal interests can be used. For example, my ds loves fierce wild animals, so we have been reading Wild Animals I Have Known Interesting for him, but not too babyish.
5. I limit comments on the text while reading.
6. We narrate previous events before the day's reading rather than narrating just after reading. With my special needs son, it seems that he needs more "processing time" to consolidate the story in his head, so before I read a section, I often ask, "So, what was happening last time?" or "Now let me see, what is happening in the story now?" or even, after reading a line or two, "OK, now I can't quite remember where we are...what is happening in the story now?" Sometimes it is a stress-relieving device to let them think they are helping YOU remember rather than being tested on THEIR memory.
7. Even though my son is almost eleven, we still read plenty of short picture books.
8. To help with the expressive language problem, we read aloud a lot. I think of this as oral copywork...he is copying correct language and practicing saying it.
9. For detailed instruction in language/reading comprehension, I work with him at some other time, not during our lunch read aloud times. I see these read alouds as fun, interesting, and enriching, and I don't want the children to see them as work.
10. You might also try reading every other day, and letting some lunches be just for eating and talking together about the day or his interests. If he has language difficulties, he needs that conversational practice as well as the input of language that comes from reading. Believe me, I do understand that in these cases reading can be a lot easier than conversation, but both are necessary. Conversation doesn't feel so much like a part of "educating", but it is!
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Kristie 4
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Audiobooks have been such a blessing for my dyslexic EXTREMELY active dd...something she could do on her own....
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Kristie in Canada
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Kathryn
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| Posted: Dec 15 2011 at 6:42pm | IP Logged
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JodieLyn wrote:
| can you give him a signal that means he needs something explained |
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You mean like have him put his hand up if he needs me to stop?
Mackfam wrote:
| 11yo-I-would-rather-be-playing-legos-football-baseball-takin g-something-apart-than-this kind of statement. |
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THAT'S THE TRUTH!
mackfam wrote:
| I read books that are out of my kids reach all the time. Many, many times they learn the vocabulary and comprehension through inferences and context in the story, but they don't get that if the story flow and rhythm is interrupted. I never would have expected them to "get" so much understanding out of a book simply through context, but they do! |
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I think this is where I struggle sometimes because he seems to miss sooo much of the "natural" inferences and vocabulary meaning through context. And that's why I think sometimes he tends to "tune out".
mackfam wrote:
| And I make it a point to RELISH those larger vocabulary words, Sometimes, I do it on my own because one of the things I LOVE to do is incorporate the big vocabulary into my own vocabulary and use it in the everyday. TOTALLY stumps the kids! But then, they really GET the meaning, and I notice that they too have begun to incorporate the words into their vocabulary because the words become like familiar friends. |
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YEP...I do try that sometimes and it *does* work!
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Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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Kathryn
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| Posted: Dec 15 2011 at 6:44pm | IP Logged
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stellamaris wrote:
| I also have a son with attention, language, and memory struggles. he often will wander away after a relatively short session of reading (about 10 minutes seems to be his limit). I think that for him it is just very tiring to have to continue to put in the energy to process all that language. |
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I think that's it exactly. He just cannot process as quickly as I'm moving. I try to slow down but your others ideas are fantastic.
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Kathryn in TX
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Kathryn
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Kristie 4 wrote:
| Audiobooks have been such a blessing for my dyslexic EXTREMELY active dd...something she could do on her own.... |
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We def. use audiobooks but can't say they've been as successful as I would like. ?
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Kathryn in TX
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Dec 15 2011 at 6:53pm | IP Logged
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yes like putting up his hand.. that gives HIM the control over if he wants more or not.. and that can help sometimes just letting them have a bit more control. This would likely work best if it was combined with some other things.. like the short time frame.
I find audio books work best here if they have the book to follow along with.. it not only exposes them to the story but they hear AND see the words but they don't have to struggle with the decoding.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Dec 15 2011 at 7:41pm | IP Logged
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Kathryn, it sounds like you are doing just great! But our children aren't always going to appreciate our efforts - for sure  .
Since everyone else is giving such great helps for the actual reading part of this challenge, I thought I'd take a stab at the attitude part.
There is a very good chance that he will continue to mutter his discontent under his breath unless you intervene. Muttering is very common among pre-teens teens and a very easy habit to develop. My dh and I actually have a "No Muttering" rule. Some children are more inclined but all of our teens try it...at least once. Teens mutter because it is easier than being respectfully quiet and/or talking directly. It's a passive aggressive behavior akin with eye-rolling, huffing off, and back turning.
So if it happens again, consider being ready. You can have a preventative family meeting that states you're implementing a No Muttering rule. You can even have fun with role-playing, showing muttering and what to do instead of muttering. From there you can simply say, "That's muttering. Would you like to talk to me directly about this?" Or.. "Did you just say that you hate books?" From here he will either shrug and deny to which you can reply something like, "Oh, because if you did, that's something I'd like to talk with you about." If he owns what he says you can reply, "You're frustrated? Can you tell me more?" That sort of thing  .
I'm praying you find just the right things to help. I know what it is like to love and teach a growing boy who is frustrated with reading....and trying to grow into a confident young man. It's a tough time, but one that can be so rewarding.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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4Real Forums : Living Literature
Topic: "I hate books"...
