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SeaStar Forum Moderator
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Posted: April 11 2011 at 11:56am | IP Logged
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Chapter 6: Encouragement, Mastery and Competition
Chapter 7: A Mother's Son
Chapter 8: The Difference a Dad Makes
__________________ Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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SeaStar Forum Moderator
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Posted: April 11 2011 at 11:58am | IP Logged
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There was a lot of ground covered in these three chapters. Did anything in particular grab your attention?
__________________ Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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JaysFamily Forum Pro
Joined: March 30 2010 Location: Alabama
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Posted: April 11 2011 at 4:08pm | IP Logged
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I have to say that, while I enjoyed the book at first, Chapter 7 turned me off to reading any further. I feel that she's delving too far into psychoanalyzing different situations, rather than encouraging parents to embrace the innocent ways of boyhood that have largely been forgotten. I'm starting to see that same "my way is the only good way" attitude that is present in most parenting books. I just don't appreciate that approach.
__________________ In Christ,
Jaysfamily
wife to Jay
mother to DS(5)
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stellamaris Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 26 2009 Location: Virginia
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Posted: April 11 2011 at 4:10pm | IP Logged
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AARRRGGHH! Frantically running off to read the next three chapters! Where did last week go??? Back soon...
__________________ In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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JodieLyn Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006 Location: Oregon
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Posted: April 11 2011 at 4:19pm | IP Logged
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JaysFamily wrote:
I have to say that, while I enjoyed the book at first, Chapter 7 turned me off to reading any further. I feel that she's delving too far into psychoanalyzing different situations, rather than encouraging parents to embrace the innocent ways of boyhood that have largely been forgotten. I'm starting to see that same "my way is the only good way" attitude that is present in most parenting books. I just don't appreciate that approach. |
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You know that's funny.. even flipping through that chapter nothing grabs me.. other than the bit that follows the old rhyme (a son's a son until he take a wife, a daughter's a daughter all of her life.. or something like that).. I probably saw it rather like you did and in my mind did the.. yeah yeah blah blah blah thing
I did enjoy the chapter on dads and boys though. More for the appreciate of my dh though than in it being "helpful information". I wonder if a man might right those chapters the other way.. and think blah blah blah to the one on dads and boys and find the one on moms and boys interesting.
Now I did like chapter 6 and found a lot of good info in there. The whole sports and winning and testing themselves being intertwinned.. and how it's the solid evidence of being good at something that winning gives even if it's an "easy win" that is so exhilarating even if they played so much better and worked so much harder and still barely lost a game. Sure you can use those moments and they can use them as a measure of improvement but you still need that win to have the proof, so without it even if you played a great game, there won't be near the same sort of exhilaration.
Though if the coach and team and parents all are on boards with the "you're playing improved greatly even if you lost".. they can definately come away with some satifaction of playing well without the win.. something in between the exhilarated or despondant extremes.
__________________ Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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JodieLyn Forum Moderator
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Posted: April 11 2011 at 4:21pm | IP Logged
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oh but JaysFamily.. keep reading.. it's that one chapter.. there's lots of good reading after it.
__________________ Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Grace&Chaos Forum All-Star
Joined: June 07 2010 Location: California
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Posted: April 11 2011 at 4:35pm | IP Logged
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stellamaris wrote:
AARRRGGHH! Frantically running off to read the next three chapters! Where did last week go??? Back soon... |
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Ditto
__________________ Blessings,
Jenny
Mom to dds(00,03) and dss(05,06,08,09)
Grace in Loving Chaos
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Marcia Forum Pro
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Posted: May 02 2011 at 11:35am | IP Logged
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Have you seen Meg's new book?? check out this review...
__________________ Marcia
Mom to six and wife to one
Homeschooling 10th, 7th, 5th, 2nd, PreK and a toddler in tow.
I wonder why
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stellamaris Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 26 2009 Location: Virginia
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Posted: May 04 2011 at 6:56am | IP Logged
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Well, trying to play catch up here still...but I finished this section.
I found the chapter on Dads very much on target. I especially appreciated the story of Jesse and his father Stan. When Jesse insulted his mom, Stan intervened in a very decisive way. As the mom of older sons, I can say that I have really been thankful for my husband's insistence that respect be shown to me by my sons. They are respectful young men now because he never would tolerate anything less. Sometimes this meant some intense moments of conflict, which were uncomfortable for me, to say the least. As a woman, I have a hard time feeling OK with the more aggressive kinds of interaction that men seem to be fine with. It has taken me a lot of years to accept that my husband really does know how to guide our sons...and looking back, I should have stepped aside sooner and not tried to "soften" the interaction between father and sons. It's one thing if there is abuse actually going on--that requires a mother to step in---but when it's just loud, male, and direct, when sons are "testing the limits" in a serious way and dad's are standing firm, that's when we ladies ought to step aside and support dad. As Dr. Meeker says:
Quote:
Testosterone must bump up against testosterone in order for boys to learn how to gain control over themselves and their passions. |
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(eta: fixed quotes!)
__________________ In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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