4Real Forums: DD9 doesn't like Mass

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: DD9 doesn't like Mass

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kathleenmom
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Posted: Jan 30 2007 at 11:06pm \| IP Logged

Any advice for when your sweet 9yo dd tells you tearfully at bedtime after doing her examination of conscience that she doesn't like going to mass? She truly was heartbroken to have to admit this and that makes it all the harder to adress, for me atleast. I am accustomed to coming at this dilemma from a more wilfull "I don't wanna" toddler or pre-FHC age standpoint, but this one is a more mature response and a more difficult one to find the right angle to come at it?

I'm not making much sense. She is a good girl. She wants to please. Am I letting her down? Am I not doing enough to help her see the beauty and gift in every celebration of the mass? Or, is this a normal phase?

What would you talk to her about? What sort of dialogue would you begin? Resources? Prayers?

Thanks,
Kathleen

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alicegunther
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Posted: Jan 30 2007 at 11:17pm \| IP Logged

I have had this conversation many times with different children through the years:

"Honey, you are a little girl and it is understandable that you do not like sitting still for a long time during Mass. Jesus knows this too, and He sees inside your heart. When He sees you there, He thinks to Himself, 'That little girl is making a sacrifice for Me by being here. How much she must love Me. Her's is the most beautiful offering of all.'"

Yes, I would say it is a normal phase. She will see and appreciate the beauty of Mass over time, with your help.

I would suggest The Weight of a Mass by Josephine Nobisso as a start.

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Theresa
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Posted: Jan 30 2007 at 11:19pm \| IP Logged

What a beautiful reply Alice.

I see we are both night owls.

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alicegunther
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Posted: Jan 30 2007 at 11:31pm \| IP Logged

Theresa in MN wrote:

What a beautiful reply Alice.

I see we are both night owls.

LOL, Theresa--we have a lot in common, I'd say!

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Love, Alice
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Theresa
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Posted: Jan 30 2007 at 11:37pm \| IP Logged

Well, if your eating a bowl of grapenuts at 11:35 pm I'm going to get a little freaked out.

I think I hijacked this thread. Sorry Kathleen. I now return you to the regularaly scheduled thread.

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JodieLyn
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Posted: Jan 30 2007 at 11:45pm \| IP Logged

I would find out what exactly she's not liking.. with responses rather like those Alice said.

She's also getting to a stage where perhaps she's feeling self-conscious and maybe feels like "everyone is watching her" and that would have to be addressed differently than not liking to sit for that long. Or if she's percieving someone (Father?) as glaring at her or..???

Who knows what ideas she might get.. I know mine (I have an almost 10 year old and an 8.5 yr old) get some odd ideas in their head sometimes that aren't really based in reality

But I just can't be a night owl like Alice and Theresa yet.. it's not late enough on the west coast and I don't have grape nuts

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Theresa
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Posted: Jan 30 2007 at 11:53pm \| IP Logged

Jodie... don't do the grapenuts. Ugh

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Theresa

humanaevitae
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Posted: Jan 31 2007 at 12:03am \| IP Logged

How about Fruit Loops!

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JodieLyn
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Posted: Jan 31 2007 at 12:09am \| IP Logged

I was thinking maybe peach cobbler (there's some in the fridge)

Helen
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Posted: Jan 31 2007 at 6:14am \| IP Logged

Dear Kathleen,
I've been putting some thoughts together on how to prepare children for mental prayer at Mass.

Sunday Mass Preparation

(This is a link to a category at my blog.To begin at the beginning scroll down to the bottom.)

I haven't finished yet. I hope to get to Mass readings today. It's still a work in progress so it's difficult for me to sum up here. But, I could try if you have difficulty leaving the forum to go to a blog, let me know.

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Theresa
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Posted: Jan 31 2007 at 7:58am \| IP Logged

Helen,

I have read a bit of few of your posts and I like that you are "organizing your thoughts" at your blog. Although we dont attend Mass we attend service and I am always looking for ways to make service personable. The best I can say is that our faith needs to be something we practice every minute of every day. Not just Sundays.

There is a book I read once that suggested preparing for service on Fridays... days in advance. I can't remember what it was now but it dealt more with the particulars of making sure laundry was done and clothes were pressed. A breakfast casserole was prepared Saturday night and kept in the fridge for easy preparation Sunday morning. This way our mornings went smoothly and stress free so that we could maintain worship of our Lord even before we left the house.

I'm going to be back later to look through more of your posts.

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kathleenmom
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Posted: Jan 31 2007 at 8:11am \| IP Logged

Thanks Ladies.....I was eating egg noodles while you were posting about grape nuts, fruit loops and peach cobbler. I feel a little let down now, the egg noodles were not as satisfying as I would have liked....

Helen,

I have been following your posts on your blog. The holy spirit must have been tapping you on the shoulder for me. They are just what I need at the moment. Please, continue to organize your thoughts there....I am truly inspired.

God Bless,
Kathleen

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Helen
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Posted: Jan 31 2007 at 9:47am \| IP Logged

kathleenmom wrote:

Thank you for telling me this Kathleen.
I have felt "pressure" to write these jumbled thoughts down! Now, I won't consider it pressure but instead I will happily do it for you.

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Ave Maria!
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