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mommylori
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| Posted: Dec 16 2006 at 10:36am | IP Logged
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I currently go to a very small church about a block from my house, and though I love my preist I am having major issues in the congregation and wanted to know if this will be just normal whereever my family and I go or if I should just look for a new church.
1st off I am the only family in our church open to life, besides the older ladies who have raised families, and really like us.lol But out of the generation about my age we are the only ones. On top of this they keep questioning me on why I am pregnant with number 4 and making very rude comments about it, like they make a pill to stop that, and why aren't you fixed yet, your getting fixed now right! When I try to tell them the churches teachings they become very rude.
2nd, we are the only homeschooling family at my church, and they keep making rude comments about this, you can't keep your kids in a bubble, your nuts I would never dream of doing that, what qualitfications do you have to teach, is the catholic school across town to good for your family?
And then we rescently had a new program introduced that good touch bad touch program, and after seeing the video I decided we would not be taking part in it, and they got even ruder, I am the only parent who even had questions about what was being taught and everything.
So is this just how members of the church are now and I should just keep going on my path and praying things work out. Or should I look for a new church. There is a church all the way across town that is very homeschool friendly and such, but it is all the way across the city.lol
Lori
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alicegunther
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| Posted: Dec 16 2006 at 11:23am | IP Logged
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Oh, Lori, I am so sorry to hear you are going through this, and it is nothing like the experience we have had in our parish.
I will pray for you as you make this decision.
__________________
Love, Alice
mother of seven!
      
Cottage Blessings
Brew yourself a cup of tea, and come for a visit!
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Paula in MN
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| Posted: Dec 16 2006 at 11:42am | IP Logged
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Lori, it is too bad that this is happening.
You commented that you really love the priest at this church. Have you spoken to him about the situation? As the leader of your parrish he may be able to offer some insight and guidance.
We belong to a small church in a very small town and after 3 years of being here I still felt *odd*. However, a new priest started in October and there has already been a big change in attitude. I really believe that attitudes and behavior *start at the top*, so maybe that is what is happening in your church.
I'll be praying that every thing works out for you.
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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Philothea
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| Posted: Dec 16 2006 at 1:56pm | IP Logged
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My off-the-cuff assessment is that perhaps there is a *reason* your parish is so small and all the faithful Catholics go to the one across town.
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Martha
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| Posted: Dec 16 2006 at 1:56pm | IP Logged
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I moved to go across town to a more friendly parish.
If it was just me, I might have tolorated it or blown it off or responded in kind. I don't know that is wise either  .
HOWEVER, these are the people teaching CCD and setting examples around my children. My dh isn't catholic and although he is indeed a grown man, I don't feel this was a good environment for him either.
I would say I still have some *issues* with our current parish, but I am well aware no parish is perfect and this parish is a better fit for our spiritual needs.
Although I might go to different parishes for different reasons, I think a "home parish" is important. I do not like to "church hop", but if you have been there at least 6 months and find:
A.) you spiritual needs are not being met
and/or
B.) it is toxic to proper spiritual formation
I would not feel comfortable taking that kind of risk with my dh and dc (or myself).
I do think you should speak to the priest if you can. Even if he doesn't do anything and you do leave that parish, at least he won't be ignorant of the situation or why.
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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Angela F
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| Posted: Dec 16 2006 at 2:35pm | IP Logged
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Lori,
I'll pray for you. Our situation is slightly different in that our sweet little parish church - only 5 minutes away!- has a priest that is just not able at this time to give us the spiritual fatherhood/leadership that we need. So we generally drive 45 minutes to an hour each weekend. We felt that the spiritual formation of our children was at stake. We want them to see good holy priests, in love with our Lord! Anyway, I don't know how far across town is for you, but wanted to share our situation in the case that others' experiences might help.
God bless as you discern,
Angela
__________________
Mom to 7 blessings - welcome to Hanna Clare 1/19/10
"‘Great’ holiness consists in carrying out the ‘little’ duties of each moment."
St. Josemaria Escriva
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Dec 16 2006 at 8:15pm | IP Logged
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Lori,
Are you at my old church? (WV) (Just kidding, you probably aren't!)
Our old parish was just like your description. Really! One of my friends there has just made the decision to leave (she has 10 living children and isn't stopping), because she and her family were criticized for family size, homeschooling, etc. (The whole "good touch, bad touch" program is an entire topic in itself. Grrr.) She and I were the only homeschoolers (and the only two Catholic homeschoolers in the county).
I have to say, it gets old trying to defend your chosen way of life, especially if it conforms to the teachings of the Church. I always know I will be moving on to another parish, so I've learned to handle all the questions and comments and strange looks. It's not the same when you're involved in a long-term parish commitment. You shouldn't be subjected to a barrage of rude questions, but I've learned that most people can't figure out how to keep their opinions to themselves.
So...you and your husband will probably want to spend time in prayer and discussion, to decide what is best for your family. Some parishes are full of welcoming people (who've seen large families once or twice and LIKE them), and it may be that you will feel called to change parishes and find one that is more welcoming to you. This is exactly what's happened to my friend. She and her family drive an hour each way (over a mountain) to attend Mass and participate in parish activities each Sunday. They were astounded to discover that they were really wanted in this parish...their musically talented daughters have joined the youth choir...it's just astounding how different things are.
There's something to be said, of course, for being an example of faith. You may discern that your family is called to stay at your current parish for now.
When we spoke to our priest in the small parish I described above, he was very sympathetic, and tried repeatedly to convince our fellow parishioners to 1)accept children in Mass instead of complain about them; 2) stop criticizing fellow parishioners; 3) keep their opinions to themselves during parish events...but it didn't work. Every time there is a controversy, people leave the Catholic Church because they don't like what happened in that particular, small parish. If you end up in a situation like this, your only choice may be to change parishes, because there just won't be a Christian, worshipful atmosphere available for you.
I'll add my prayers to everyone else's. You're very brave and faithful, and I'll pray that the Holy Spirit sends you the gift of fortitude at this trying time.
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: problems in my church
