4Real Forums: Spiritual Direction

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: Spiritual Direction

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Molly Smith
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Joined: Feb 08 2005
Location: Virginia
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Posts: 669

Posted: April 25 2005 at 8:04am \| IP Logged

Please excuse my ignorance, but what is a spiritual director? Is it a priest? Is it a counselor? How do you go about finding one? What types of things do you discuss? Is there usually a fee?

My reason for asking is because I've seen people here, on lists and in books speak of their "spiritual director" and I've always kept it in the back of my mind, but it's just popped up in my mind this morning as something that could benefit me now.

I'd love to hear any advice, suggestions, resources or feedback about your experiences with spiritual direction.

Thanks!

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Molly Smith in VA
Mom to seven beautiful children, ages 1-14

tovlo4801
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Joined: Feb 28 2005
Location: Minnesota
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Posts: 386

Posted: April 25 2005 at 8:41am \| IP Logged

Molly,

I don't know a lot, but I'll share what I do know. There are trained lay people in our area who are spiritual directors. They offer their services for a fee. The trouble is that at least in our area they don't tend to be very orthodox, so I was uncomfortable going that route. After reading a Mother's Rule of Life I decided to pursue my desire to look for spiritual direction again. I asked around on groups like this, and I found that if you have a monastary nearby that might be a good place to find a spiritual director. Also, local priests can be a good source of spiritual direction. I was told in my inquiry that a priest would not charge for spiritual direction. Based on this information I contacted a local priest whose reverence during mass had impressed me greatly. He quickly agreed to meet with me. I asked my specific questions (for me mostly related to confession), and then he offered general confession of all my past sins. It was a wonderful meeting. He offered to meet with me again in the future anytime that I had anything I felt I needed additional guidance on. He did advise me that there are special graces involved in marriage and that my husband should be the first place that I turn for guidance. Then if after that I was still needing further guidance he'd be happy to meet with me. He did not set up regular meetings or anything. This was last fall and so far I have not contacted him again for direction. I did not pay him, but I've felt a little funny about this. Even though I was advised that this was not necessary, I've felt that perhaps I should have. I just don't know.

The other day on the radio I heard a priest talking about spiritual direction. I think his recommendations were very good. He said for the average person, their spiritual direction comes in the confessional. Find a good confessor and take advantage of this sacrament as regular direction. Then he said that if there is a greater unique need to work through something, you could meet for a limited period of spiritual direction to get back on track. He went on to say that if there are extraordinary needs, (like visions or something like that) more regular direction may be required to distinguish God's voice properly. I thought this was very good advice.

cathhomeschool
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Texas Bluebonnets

Joined: Jan 26 2005
Location: Texas
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Posts: 7303

Posted: April 25 2005 at 10:35am \| IP Logged

Molly, I think that a good spiritual director (like a good confessor) is sort of a cross between a counselor and a guide. Tim and I have gone to spiritual direction (individually) off and on over the years. At times we have gone to a deacon or priest, and I went to a nun once too. None of them have charged or accepted regular payment. In all cases we set up regular weekly or bi-monthly schedules with the director.

I think that spiritual direction, like anything we do to grow in faith or discern God's will, is something from which everyone can benefit. However, that doesn't mean that we must all seek spiritual direction. There is a season for everything, and many paths that lead to holiness. When I have gone to spiritual direction, my director has always been a great, Christ-centered sounding board. I have grown in my understanding of marriage, faith and my calling as wife, mother and Christian. My directors have suggested particular prayers and books to help me grow in faith. It has helped me stay (or get back) on track spiritually speaking.

Going to a spiritual director is much like going to a confessor. If your director is a priest, he can hear your confession at the same time that he gives direction. Where we live, there is always a tremendously long line at the confessional (many good Catholics here!). The priests never finish hearing confession in the time allotted, so I don't feel that I can take lots of extra time to ask for direction during confession. Right now I do not have a spiritual director. Tim does. He meets with a priest for 45 minutes every Monday. It has been a huge blessing for him and for us. I encourage you to ask at your parish for a list of spiritual directors. You might want to talk to more than one before you choose a director. One word of caution: Just because a person is a great spiritual director doesn't mean that he/she is a great director for you! My mother's first spiritual director (when I was young) was a wonderful priest, but was not a good fit as director for my mother. Things just didn't "click," and my mother always left feeling discouraged. She grew much more in her faith and understanding of God's love for her when she found a new director.

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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)

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