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Michaela
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| Posted: Oct 12 2006 at 11:52pm | IP Logged
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That would be *my* mom.
I'm seeking advice on how to handle her...or maybe myself.
My mom has been away from the church about 40 years. I told her that I felt the Holy Spirit wanted me to bring her back. Gently, I brought it up. There was some tension because she has a Jehovah Witness boyfriend who will do & say anything to keep her away from the Catholic Church. However, she must feel led because she has started coming with my family to mass each Sunday.
She made comments about not understanding what's going on during mass. A lot has changed since she used to attend.
Well, our parish offered a refresher course that I invited her to. Teaching the basics.....
Well, my mom has been using it as a gripe session to vent every injustice a priest or any church going person has done to her.
Tonight, for example, we were talking about Catholic Social Teaching. She started crying and yelling about "where were all the church going people when my house burned down." Her neighbors saw her in her nightgown standing outside her burned down home & she says no one even gave her a coat to cover.
How a priest was a racist when she wanted to marry my dad, then later adopt me. Just EVERYTHING was coming out. She's hurt. So, the classes have turned into counseling sessions. She worked cleaning the rectory for at least 20 years. She saw & heard things she tells everyone about (yes, what she saw was bad) I've told her the church is full of sinners.....priests are human and yes, they are sinners too. No one is perfect.
It's not going to get better. Especially now she sees the classes aren't about airing gripes ....hurt. People are there to learn about what the church teaches.
What can I do? I told my DH tonight that I don't know if I can go back. (Jokingly) I know that I shouldn't be embarressed by her outbursts. She's hurting. I just don't think these classes are the place for this.
Do I suggest she talk with a priest? Maybe I should talk to her about what she's upset about. I don't know what she wants.....to be heard or apologies from people.
Do I stay out of it? If it was another person in class, maybe I wouldn't be bothered....more sympathetic.
Goodness...maybe I need to go talk to our priest for being embarressed by her outbursts. 
ETA I write I'm embarressed....I am concerned (that's why I'm asking for advice) and confused. It's a mixture of feelings.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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Maddie
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| Posted: Oct 13 2006 at 12:24am | IP Logged
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My prayers are with you for your mother. My mother, ( a teen during the upheavel of the 60's) had similar experiences. She left the church for 30 years, came back and has now left again. Ultimately, it is she that will have to answer to God for her choices, but I lay some of the blame on the mass confusion in our Church today and our fellow Catholics in the pews who are less than charitable and welcoming. My mother is Hispanic and came back to the Faith in a very "white" upper class Church. I do not mean to be inflammatory, but she was NOT welcomed and the open arms of her former Protestant church were very appealing to a lonely soul.
Many prayers for your mother to come back and for you to have peace. It's wonderful of you to stick with her, even though it is embarrasing. Is there a good priest who would give her private instructions?
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~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
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Michaela
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| Posted: Oct 13 2006 at 12:51am | IP Logged
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Thank you, Maddie. I think what you shared about your mother leaving again is what concerns me most. If this isn't handled well, I believe she will walk away but this time permanently.
I'm leaning towards suggesting to her to talk to our priest. She has mentioned *wanting* to talk to him, but hasn't followed through yet.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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Jen L.
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| Posted: Oct 13 2006 at 7:11am | IP Logged
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How difficult!! I'm sorry I have no great advice, but I am praying for your moms, Michaela and Maddie.
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Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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Bridget
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I would try to get her to talk to an understanding priest. And he should have some warning ahead of time so he is prepared to take all her hurt and venting. They have heard it all and are used to helping people through this.
Also if you can get her involved in any way in an area of the parish where she might make friends who are in her season of life, it might help too.
What a heart ache for you, Michaela, I'll remember your mom in my prayers. Your an awesome daughter.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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Michaela
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| Posted: Oct 13 2006 at 3:54pm | IP Logged
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Thank you, ladies. I'm going over to my mom's tomorrow to see if she wants to talk. Get things off her chest. It seems it's built up to a point she can't hold it inside. Most importantly, I'll suggest she talks to our parish priest. He lived a year or two in the parish rectory she worked at.
I plan to pray hard to have the right words that won't upset her. Listen more than talk.
Bridget wrote:
| I would try to get her to talk to an understanding priest. And he should have some warning ahead of time so he is prepared to take all her hurt and venting. |
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This is a great suggestion. Once I know she'll talk, I'll give our priest a heads up.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Mom mad at the church
