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Kathryn
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| Posted: March 12 2013 at 6:40pm | IP Logged
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First, let me say that DH and I actually married during Lent (20 years ago tomorrow  ). However, there were certain things we weren't able to do but the priest didn't request that we move it because of the season and we actually did have a reception and "party" following.
However, as many people do I suppose, we have become more familiar with what the expectations are for us during this season and have had a couple of conflicts I don't know how to approach.
We had a nephew have his wedding on Holy Saturday 2 years ago (they're not Catholic) and because of the distance and with the kiddos we were able to kindly decline with no hard feelings. We have another niece getting remarried at a JP this Sat and having a reception following. We plan on attending although it's a Saturday during Lent, it's not Holy Week. Now DD 5 just rec'd a birthday party invitation for a swim party on Holy Saturday at 5:45 pm. I told her that we wouldn't be able to attend because it's Easter week-end. Of course the tears and grief from her are understandable but how do you approach these? We are local and technically could easily attend the party but am not sure it's the right thing to do for our Lord. ?? How do you discern these issues within your family?
Thanks,
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Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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JennGM
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| Posted: March 12 2013 at 7:08pm | IP Logged
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Our family attends all the Holy Week services and has so many other traditions during that week that we have no time for other activities. Holy Saturday we decorate our Easter Eggs, do the final baking, and then decorate and get ready for the Easter Vigil. It's a long day...and somewhere in there I like to get a nap.
Over the years when I was growing up it was the same. The flat response that is The Sacred Triduum, highest holy days and busiest time of the year, so all invitations were declined.
There were tears and disappointments at times, but that was the "party line" and we all learned it over the years.
And now, my siblings and I repeat the same pattern.
I think the "trick" is to fill that time with focused feast day Family activities so the children can see what it's about. If not Easter eggs, then maybe baking together, read alouds about the feast, etc.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: March 12 2013 at 7:12pm | IP Logged
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Boy, Holy Saturday is tough! It would be difficult for our family to make that happen, penitential problems aside.
However, while we will likely make parties on a Sunday for our own Lenten baby once he's old enough to care, even if just so our Catholic friends can enjoy it more  (it isn't as if a cjild whose birthday is Holy Saturday will always have it that week), I really feel that a child shouldn't be punished for being born during the time that is always or typically lent, yk? We adults can keep our sacrifices and refuse the cake should we wish, as can our children, but the birthday boy or girl can still be celebrated.
In short, I'm torn as you obviously are. Since my family will probably be at the vigil mass by 5:45, it is just about Easter , and you have said it would not be a burden to attend, I would lean towards keeping Holy Saturday holy, then starting my celebration of Easter at sundown, and to emphasize that to your children, you could even stop by the church on the way to or from the party to see the festive decorations already being celebrated by some and say a prayer for the friend.
If you still believe the day needs to be more closely guarded both as a holy day and a time to recognize this together as a family, I think it would be nice to help your daughter do something special for her friend and guide her to offer up her suffering, perhaps even for this friend, as something particularly meaningful on that day, perhaps sharing how especially you yourself were sad to miss your nephew's wedding for this same reason.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: March 12 2013 at 7:24pm | IP Logged
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I cross posted with Jenn, and I must say it looks to me as such a blessing to be raised with such clarity on these things. I've been grateful so many times that it never occurred to me that missing church on Sunday was an option because surely, I would have fallen into dangerous habits during some difficult times.
At any rate, as someone raised protestant, where oddly, Easter is sort of a ho-hum kind of day, let alone the rest of Holy Week, I would find it helpful to have a firmly rooted compass on these matters, too.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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JennGM
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| Posted: March 12 2013 at 7:28pm | IP Logged
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I'm going to add here that my birthday always falls in Lent. Always. We still celebrate family birthdays and such except for Holy Week. For those rare conflicting birthdays we have a cake on Easter when everyone is gathered.
Or at times we have moved it to Sundays in Lent, just because we know more people can join us. But except for Holy Week I'm not strict about not having celebrations. I think this is a firm of honoring our neighbors, a type of charity, plus it also draws on the communal aspect (Mystical Body) of the Church. Gatherings do help build community, which is why I like fish fry Fridays or Soup Suppers in Lent.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: March 12 2013 at 8:16pm | IP Logged
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Chiming in with Jenn. We have a birthday that is always during Lent (and one born on Palm Sunday that ends up in Easter season most of the time) We tend to move the celebration to the Sunday that works best.. just because Sundays work for my family better since my BIL has to work Saturdays. Now the only time we always move the celebration to a Sunday is when it falls on a Friday and since the other big thing for our family is that the birthday child gets to pick the meal.. we always give the option that if the birthday falls on a Friday to pick the meals either for that Friday or for another day if she's really wanting something with meat.
And as Lindsay and Jenn said, it would be more that on Holy Saturday we're getting ready for the Vigil Mass (we attend about every other year, and the rest on Easter morning). And that late in the day would just be super difficult to fit in before a major feast day with all the prep and getting ready for attending Mass and all. If we're not attending the Vigil, then it's the whole getting everyone cleaned up and clothing found and especially shoes 
I have no problem with switching around when celebrations happen but I do know some people that it really upsets if the actual calender day is not the day that's celebrated.
I guess when attending outside family events, that I would look at if it's taking away from something we'd be doing.. would we be attending Church or preparing or whatever.. and then especially for the younger kids (who would ultimately have a harder time with understanding the whole calender thing and aren't under any obligation to fast or anything) we might choose to make an exception if it didn't interfer with other things.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Celebrations during Lent
