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dolorsofmary
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| Posted: June 24 2011 at 10:53am | IP Logged
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My son will be 6 in about 1.5 months. I held him back 1 yr and he will be doing K work at home with me starting this Aug/Sept. So that means that he will not be receiving 1st holy Communion until he is 8.5 yrs old and getting 1st penance just before that as well. So I had asked my pastor if that means that the 'age of reason' is delayed to. Well I guess all one can do is give me a vague answer. I would say that age of reason starts with 1st penance and 1st holy communion. So basically anything he does now even though it could be sinful is not a sin since he is under the age of reason - I believe we would all agree.
In preparation for these sacraments, even though they are 2.5 yrs off and he cannot sin at present, I am thinking of trying to bring about right habits in my son.
Your thoughts please and thank you!
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kristinannie
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| Posted: June 24 2011 at 12:05pm | IP Logged
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Even if the church doesn't consider children's acts as sins (which I am not sure about), it is definitely important to start habit training as young as possible. Have you ever tried to change something about your husband? It is nearly impossible! 
Just because he is going to be delayed starting formal school, can't he go along with his age group for First Communion? I am not sure how your parish deals with that.
I would definitely get a handle on the lying as soon as possible. My kids get in worse trouble if they lie or disrespect us than for any other reason. Lying is never OK no matter the age! Best of luck! I highly recommend reading Charlotte Mason's writings on habit formation (it is in her first book). It has seriously changed my life!
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John Paul 8.5
Meredith Rose 7
Dominic Michael 4.5
Katherine Elizabeth 8 months
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organiclilac
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| Posted: June 24 2011 at 12:39pm | IP Logged
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I think the "age of reason" depends greatly on the child. I believe that the Pope recently said that many children reach it before the arbitrary age of 7 - and I'm sure some children reach it later. We felt that our son was capable of understanding sin and showing a remorse for sin when he was only 6. He had been desiring Holy Communion for several months, but said he didn't want to go to confession, but eventually he desired the sacrament of confession also. We were blessed with wonderful priests who trusted our judgment and allowed his reception of the sacraments without any attendance of parish programs. He received confession a couple of months after his 6th birthday and FHC on the feast of Corpus Christie a few days later.
We haven't had too much trouble with lying, but did go through a phase with the other issue. I simply told my son that those are very special parts, with a special purpose that he'll learn about as he gets older. Because they are so special, they aren't to be played with, just cared for (as in bathroom and bath time).
All that to say, as his parent, you are the best judge of what he is capable of and when he crosses that line into the age of reason and becomes truly responsible for his actions. If it's hard for you to discern, maybe your priest could help you out.
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Tracy, wife to Shawn, mama to Samuel (4/01) and Joseph (11/11), and Thomas (2/15)
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guitarnan
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| Posted: June 24 2011 at 12:54pm | IP Logged
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I think the age for FHC was established because it's the time when most (not all) children have reached the age of reason and can tell the difference between sins, accidents and mistakes and exhibit age-appropriate self-control. It's not as though you turn 7 and automatically reach the age of reason. The age to receive sacraments has not always been 7, either. For example, when my grandmother was a child, Confirmation and FHC were administered together at age 12. She surely knew right from wrong well before that time!
Sometimes our children's choices result in natural consequences (e.g. sick tummy from overeating) and sometimes parents have to impose consequences instead. Both are fine. I agree with Jodie; you can limit opportunities to lie and set limits on how much to eat, how late to stay up, etc. so that he understands what the rules are and what will happen if he breaks them. Children really do want boundaries that are clear (and uncomplicated!).
With other behaviors, redirecting and using adults as role models can be very helpful. Limiting "alone time" and mentioning appropriate ways to behave, using Daddy as an example, can help our sons form good habits and develop gentlemanly behavior. Also, you can plan ahead with a distracting activity or suggestion (building with blocks, helping Mommy cook/tidy, a walk to the mailbox) that can redirect him.
Your son is definitely old enough to learn good habits. I like that you have chosen a couple of things to work on and aren't trying to change everything all at once. Forming good habits takes time and patience, as I am sure you realize!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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dolorsofmary
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| Posted: June 25 2011 at 9:15am | IP Logged
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I have checked and the sacrament prep is tied to the grade yr. Thank you for your responses.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: June 25 2011 at 10:15am | IP Logged
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Yes but I choose the grade my children go into in CCD. I have two children that are in different grades in CCD than they are officially for school.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: June 25 2011 at 1:50pm | IP Logged
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I know sometimes the parishes like to link which CCD class with school grade because of the reading level they need the children to have. I remember a child in Atrium who was receiving FHC a year or two younger than typical, and whose grade in school was what you would expect for someone her age. During the FHC prep, though, she wasn't able to make her missal without a lot of frustration. The older children had no difficulty with the task. My point is that before you assign your son to the grade you choose for him, he needs to have some of the skills that the CCD teacher/program would expect of most children who are in that grade.
Peace,
Nancy
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Topic: help in preparing son for age of reason
